(Earlier today I sent this email to Rollo Tomassi of The Rational Male - no reply yet, understandable. I also posted it on my blog and here at the r/AskTRP sub. Even with all the noise on the subs, and others related to it, I wanted to get help. More exposure to my questions. I know there will be some wisdom in here that can help to dissect my brain during this unplugging.)
Here is the email I sent with some questions I need help with:
"You don't hate fish for swimming do you?"
(two questions are at the bottom)
Hi Rollo, DCL here from the dcllive blog.
I'll get right to it...
Before I found out about how woman actually are, in terms of their sexual strategy i.e. dating up, I loved women with a blissful ignorance that got me into tons of trouble and now and then some pussy.
Then the same old story, failed 'relationships' and back to square one. I thought that's just how it goes. But I still was infatuated with women.
Nowadays while looking at my life, past and post Red Pill and noticing the transition through the Stages (I know Game works, I'm not angry anymore just confused at my own behavior), I've come to understand that the infatuation wasn't just sexually charged. I was, probably still am, looking to women for validation as well.
Validation for what? I don't have a clue. And I think it's different then putting women on a pedestal.
Once I find out why I need validation from women, and then work on trying to fix it, I want to make sure I don't lose that 'love for women' I used to have. I understand the difference in how men and women love (romantically/opportunistically, thank you Rollo). I don't hate women for "swimming" like they are supposed to.
I guess I'm just afraid that if I find out why I seek out women for validation I won't like them as much anymore. They aren't terrible creatures and, again, I don't hate them. it was a waste of energy. They just, are what they are.
I hope I'm articulating this correctly.
Why do men look to women for validation, on any scale big or small? and Is there a way to love women for how and who they are?
I realize that all this comes with Red Pill relationship experience. And I certainly want that.
The reason I'm asking you these questions is because I believe you will give me, at the very least, some unfiltered things to think about. You are an older man who is married and has children so there must be an aspect of love in there that exists without the external influence of the fem-centric condition. -dcl
Thanks for your time.
P.S. With your permission I would like to share your reply (at your earliest convenience) on my blog. Perhaps it could help other young men (I'm twenty nine) that 1) accept the Red Pill, 2) don't want to check-out and go their own way and 3) still like women but want to make sure that it's coming from a place of genuine masculinity.
I'm sure the answers I'm really looking for require some sort of deep psychological analysis. Maybe not.
Older Red Piller's out there, can you help me articulate what I'm getting at?