~ archived since 2018 ~

Any idea as to how I can improve?

April 20, 2018

I'm going to be 32 in May. I swallowed the pill last fall. Been lifting three days a week and doing cardio on the other two since then (I take weekends off). Been eating better. I've read the sidebar and numerous recommended reading materials (NMMNG, Rational Male, Models, Pook, Bang, Meditations, Pimp, My Secret Garden. I read The Game at 21 but never had the balls to do anything with that knowledge).

I have two jobs (might be about to have 3), numerous hobbies, short and longterm goals. I groom myself daily. I'm getting better at dressing, seeing what works and what doesn't. I've limited my porn usage to one day a week.

Despite all this, I cannot approach women. I cannot get the "I am the prize" mentality. I don't feel that way. I don't know how to get around this. I'm trying to maintain positive mindset but after growing up in a sexually repressed Catholic household (I didn't lose my virginity until I was 22), I have always had problems with women. I didn't really talk to them at all as a teenager. I was a total beta slob until I was 26 and have gained marginal improvement since then, with the improvement drastically increasing over the past few months. I had my first serious relationship at 26 and it only lasted 2 and a half years. Since that relationship ended, the only kind of sex I've had is the kind that's been bought and paid for in some way. I have had maybe ten or eleven willing partners in my life, and most of my relationships have averaged only a few months. The rest have all been pure onetime transaction, save a lone one-night-stand at the age of 25.

Obviously something is wrong. But as a guy who clearly has his shit together, I don't understand how I can increase my SMV any further. I have never considered myself to be a prize, and unless I achieve my lofty longterm goals, I don't know that I ever honestly will. I don't know how to. The "fake it til you make it" bullshit doesn't work with me.

The Red Pill has helped me more than I can articulate here. I really appreciate everything the manosphere does and has done for guys like me. But is there anything I'm missing or anything else I can do?

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Post Information
Title Any idea as to how I can improve?
Author i_amtheice
Upvotes 0
Comments 3
Date April 20, 2018 10:32 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit /r/askTRP
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/any-idea-as-to-how-i-can-improve.128454
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/8dmksj/any_idea_as_to_how_i_can_improve/

[–]dokoya2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The good news is Nigga you came a long way, the bad news is Nigga you came the wrong way - Jermain

I can imagine and to some extent relate with growing up in such a background - it seriously fucks with your mind and your outlook towards even things like sex - you may even feel guilty for wanting to do it - I know I did initially.

I have never considered myself to be a prize...I don't know how to

Truth is you were raised never to do this - not to the extent that would dis empower the women anyway. So you have to understand this is your current programming.

The good news is that you can change it. SLOWLY over TIME - there is no magic bullet.

Confidence is merely the name men give to their mistakes. When is the last time you approached a woman and what happened?

There are a lot of posts here about approach anxiety - because its real, because in the early days it happens to all of us.

These days I regret not approaching for whatever dumb reason than ANY rejection ever. I was never like this. We take time and grow.

Look up all the guides here on approach anxiety and read them and TRY them and report back. Then improve.

[–]karkyflarky0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You have only peice of the puzzle missing. It's a big peice but it is only one. Don't stress to much. Get your personal confidence and general outlook on life to a high point. Judging by what you said about how the last few months have been I'd personally say keep going and go harder. Reap the rewards you owe yourself.

[–]anabolic920 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I can relate to you, maybe I am younger and I don't have the "I'm the prize mentality".

I legit can't either approach women, not even in my mind I can imagine the scenario.

Maybe it is some trauma we've from our childhood? Have you ever been close to approach? Can you remember what thoughts went through your mind?

The "fake it til you make it" bullshit doesn't work with me.

I also agree on this, the "just be confident bro" will not do it for me.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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