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As a late 20s virgin, how do I not completely fuck up the first time?

January 17, 2014

[Throwaway account] Got a date with a girl who is about 30-31 through Tinder. We've met once - the first time we made out for a bit before she had to head home. So this will be the 2nd date. Because we were both traveling for a while we've been texting for about 3-4 weeks and flirting hard (straight up sexting really). She seems receptive to fucking on our next date tomorrow though she's also said things like "sex after 7-8 dates" usual anti slut defense shit.

I don't know her past sexual history, she said she was with one guy before for several years. I have no long terms plans with this chick (obviously). What can I do to make sure that my first time isn't a complete disaster? This is in NYC if that matters.

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Post Information
Title As a late 20s virgin, how do I not completely fuck up the first time?
Author InscrutablePUA
Upvotes 2
Comments 15
Date January 17, 2014 5:40 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit /r/askTRP
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/as-a-late-20s-virgin-how-do-i-not-completely-fuck.138811
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/1vgkwb/as_a_late_20s_virgin_how_do_i_not_completely_fuck/

[–]mrpoopistan5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Sex is almost always clumsy and sloppy.

There's pretty much no good way to do it, which is why people who've been banging for 30 years still buy books to explain better ways to do it.

Accept that fact. FTR, women respond more to a guy's attitude than anything during sex. Being an energetic and involved lover will get you further than trying to press all of the right buttons (with the exception of the lower neck -- that's a right button, and you should learn how to press it).

[–]InscrutablePUA[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

THanks for the protip. It's tough to go all in to something as personal as sex knowing that you'll probably fail but that's just part of the game.

[–]mrpoopistan2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Porn has taught us that sex is beautiful and orchestrated and perfect.

It isn't. It's sloppy, ugly and repetitive.

[–]Butimdifferent9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The first time isn't the one that matters. It's all the other times.

When you try something new in life, are you always scared about it like this? Go in and have fun, man! Tickle her titties with your toes. Lick her ear. Sniff her armpit. Whatever man just be curious and have a good time. Over time you'll find out what you do and don't like and what works for you.

[–]InscrutablePUA[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Cool, that makes me feel better. Thanks.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Don't bother. You'll fuck it up. We all did. She's 30, don't let her fool you, she knows it's time for business.

LPT: If you try to bang her in the evening and it fails, try it next morning, worked for me.

[–]InscrutablePUA[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Post drinking hangover horny-ness is real: http://blog.chaosandpain.com/?p=108

[–]heist_of_saint_graft2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Close your eyes and think of England, brother.

[–]InscrutablePUA[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

you mean this?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nothing gets me going as much as that saucy little minx queen of ours

[–]drallcom31 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's actually difficult to really fuck it up as a man.

Just do the "boring" stuff. Start with the missionary position, then maybe some doggy or her on top. Before that a blowjob or fingering/licking. Use a condom, no matter what she says.

Or just ask what she'll like. Women over 30 don't have a problem with that.

Protip: If you end up going down on her, mentally pretend you're a dog. I was told multiple times how good I am using this method. In reality I have no idea what I'm doing there.

You can only fuck it up if you can't get an erection. If you have one, she'll put it to use.

[–]j_arbuckle20121 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

There's really horrible advice in this thread.

Lead the interaction. Read Sex God Method if you can get your hands on it, pick one technique in that book (or attitude) and work it like no tomorrow. Sex is 90% psychological, you can have the hottest sex in the world while doing boring missionary if you're present and know how to push her envelope. Alternatively, you could try all sorts of freaky kama sutra gymnastics and never get anywhere, because your attitude and leadership aren't there.

Most importantly, make sure it's better for you than it is for her. Focus on what gets you off, and do that. If you wanna see her bent over with her ass up? Tell her to do it, or manhandle her. Better yet, do both, chicks go crazy for that shit. Also talk dirty, it'll seem awkward at first but you'll get better and women melt when you do it congruently.

[–]mr_irrelevant2150 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Do what you think she would like. If she doesn't she'll show you what she like. In her age, she'll definitely know what she likes and it's easier on you she'll just tell you. No guessing.

[–]InscrutablePUA[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

GOod point, thanks.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You're going to.

No one is going to care.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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