I've known this guy for probably 13 years, maybe longer. He helped me out when I was in a pretty rough place, and was definitely instrumental in building me up enough I had enough confidence to start building myself up. We also now work together, at least for right now.

About two years ago is when I really started making progress on myself. I was rooming with him and his wife for a while, but when I discovered he was cheating on her, I wound up moving out (I didn't particularly get along with his wife, but I just didn't have it in me to have to face her and pretend everything was fine). That was a huge turning-point for me, whereas admittedly, my friend has experienced major difficulties since (they're still together, I don't think she ever found out, but they've had a baby with brain damage).

The past couple of months, the dude has just become kind of a nightmare to work with. He's inconsistent, and he's one of those people who tries to cast the blame on everyone else, to take the spotlight of him not really doing his job.

So... we've just been butting heads a lot.

But I also read a random commend on here a few days ago, which stuck with me. That the more "redpill" or "alpha" (or whatever you want to call it) someone is, the more likely people either LOVE them or HATE them.

And I guess what I realized it, I've slowly been transitioning from someone who LOVED this guy -- after all, he's done as much or more for me than even my own family -- I'm quickly reaching a point I can barely stand him. He makes a lot of passive-aggressive comments at work, seemingly joking but often knocking down any of my own achievements at work.

But even though I like to think I've paid him and his wife back for all they've done (in lots of ways, from financially helping them get into their current house, to going to the hospital before and after work every day when they had their baby, plus taking over his work for several months when things were touch-and-go with the baby). So I don't think I'm really "indebted" to him.

But also... well, the dude took a HUGE leap of faith when he reached out to me those years ago to move in. He knew I was in a bad place. As difficult as he is to work with -- and he's definitely changed a lot as a person the past couple years -- I can't help but feel a sense of loyalty, that this is someone who really stuck his neck out for me, and that's pretty fucking rare.

No lie; if it weren't for him, I would've killed myself 5-6 years ago. Even if a lot of the work came from me, he sort of set me on the right path.

So... I dunno. I feel like I'm just in a weird place.

I'm thinking about relocating -- for lots of reasons, I miss being near family, I feel like I'm kind of "done" with the DC area, and also, yeah I'm having a hard time working with him anymore. Part of me hopes that once we aren't working together, we'll be able to pick back up a more casual friendship, whereas right now, it's been about a year since I've seen him outside of work.

But maybe that's just part of the process of becoming your own man? That certain relationship dynamics are going to change, and not always for the better?