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Bad day.. how do you Red Pillers get back up?

September 7, 2016
32 upvotes

Hey everyone.

I'll skip the story. How do you men get up again after a bad day or a horrible fall in life? What do you do or say to yourself to motivate yourself to keep on going?

Appreciate the responses.

Edit: Just thought to place this apt quote here.. for everyone.

"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!" ~ Rocky

Edit 2: I'm really surprised at the quick responses and advice so far. Means the world to me. Thank you.

I once remember reading somewhere from the Red Pill or one Red Pill book (can't remember which) that his community acts like the collective father figure or older brother for men everywhere in the world. I never had a real father figure or male friend that I could look up to for advice or support. That changed until I found this place with you guys. Thank you for being the father figures and friends I never had.

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Post Information
Title Bad day.. how do you Red Pillers get back up?
Author yellowmonkeyzx93
Upvotes 32
Comments 55
Date September 7, 2016 3:59 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit /r/askTRP
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/bad-day-how-do-you-red-pillers-get-back-up.110960
https://theredarchive.com/post/110960
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/51lz0b/bad_day_how_do_you_red_pillers_get_back_up/
Red Pill terms in post
Comments

[–][deleted] 31 points32 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

You're not going to meet your goals every day. Down days are 100% normal.

If it happens too often, change up your routine.

It's cheesy, but I'll actually stop and think to myself how fucking awesome I am. I forget it sometimes.

[–]yellowmonkeyzx93[S] 4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Thank you. I understand about changing up my routine.

I mean.. what do you do on down days to get back up?

I don't get it.. how does telling myself "how fucking awesome I am".. help?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

It depends. If it's terrible, I'll meet up with a friend or two at the bar and vent. Otherwise, I'll just try to work out and then relax at the end of the day.

Thinking stuff like that helps me because I'm stupid enough to believe myself. I can lift my confidence pretty easily. It's a form of coping with stress.

[–]yellowmonkeyzx93[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Ah. That sounds like good idea. Like today, I decided to ask you guys here at the Red Pill (or to vent). I embraced the Red Pill about 2 months now (how my life has changed...)

Ever since then, I've cut out many people from my life (they were of little value.. and they weren't going anywhere in their own lives).. I usually vent to them.

So nowadays, I'm usually duking out my problems on my own. Have handled them well.. till today. So, turning to you guys for a while for advice. Means a heck lot to me.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

That's a real struggle. I decided it's better to keep a few shitty friends because it's better than having none. None of my good friends live nearby.

[–]yellowmonkeyzx93[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yes. It's a real struggle. My shitty friends were pulling me down in life. So, it's better I go off alone. Hurts like hell.. though I know it's for the better.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Keep the least shitty one around if you have no one else. Don't get stuck in a spot where you have no friends and can't cope.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Let me tell you something. I figured out a long time ago that I was never going to be the strongest, the fastest, the best looking, whatever.

But I could ALWAYS be the TOUGHEST.

So you need to decide, every day, you are going to be TOUGHER than what life throws at you.

You know what happens when my feet hit the floor when I get out of bed in the morning? The Devil says, "Oh, FUCK! He's AWAKE!"

And my Rice Krispies don't say "Snap! Crackle! Pop!"* they say "SHHHH! Quiet! Here he comes!"

Life isn't about never getting knocked down. We ALL get knocked down. Life is about bouncing back up with the juice to FIGHT BACK.

/mic drop

[–]yellowmonkeyzx93[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you. This made my morning.

Reminds me of that quote from Rocky..

"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!"

[–]onmyownpath18 points19 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Look at this image and realize how fucking awesome your life is:

http://i.imgur.com/tanxtYu.jpg

Realize that the photographer later committed suicide because of the horrors that he saw.

You have the internet, you probably ate this morning, and you probably have a place to live.

[–]1v1mebruh6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Jesus fucking christ, now I'm having a down day. Fuck man...

[–]Coltron7782 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I would give anything for to be looked at with the same desire and hunger as that vulture has for that little baby black boy...

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think this is illegal

[–]yellowmonkeyzx93[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks, man. I'll keep that picture in mind.

[–]sneekeemonkee7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

(written in mobile, horrid format/spacing ahead)

How do you get back up? How do you let something keep you down? How do you choose to suffer? Step one: Determine if you've landed at ground floor, or the basement if it's REALLY bad. Step two: Quit feeling sorry for yourself and get back on your feet.

When you let a 'rough' day own you, there is a definitive moment when it becomes entirely yourself that is allowing it to persist. No one is coming to save you. Count to five and move, even if it seems an atrociously small step. Then repeat. Hell - count to 5 again and again if you need to. But you MUST keep moving. Anything motivational would do nothing more than cover a gaping wound in single-ply toilet paper. Buckle up and wade through the shit.

TL;DR - Discipline. Get some.

[–]yellowmonkeyzx93[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Count to five and move, even if it seems an atrociously small step. Then repeat. Hell - count to 5 again and again if you need to. But you MUST keep moving.

THIS. Thank you. Appreciate your advice. I'm gonna use it to keep going.

[–]theWolfeman881 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Great post. Definitely discipline. You don't think about doing some things-- you just do them.

I also view emotions as simply chemical reactions in the brain. This helps me through tough times. That and Bill Hicks "This is just a ride" bit.

[–]from_the_ashes_me4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

The difference between people who succeed and people who fail is that the people who succeed see setbacks for what they are... a temporary detour, a hurdle, something to work through without losing sight of your goal.

Focus on the big picture, which is continued improvement in whatever it is that drives you. Education, job, fitness...

Make a list of your goals. If you don't identify your goals, you're like a ship without a rudder. You can't chart a course.

After you define your goals, start cultivating a "no zero day" mindset. Goals take focus and 'long game.' For each one of your goals identify something that you can do, no matter how small, to get yourself closer to that goal. It's about constant, relentless progress...

Read a book, lift, work on your resume, approach, fill out college financial aid forms... it doesn't matter what the goal is... you can do something right now to get you closer.

No Zero Days.

[–]yellowmonkeyzx93[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

a temporary detour, a hurdle, something to work through without losing sight of your goal.

..and

No Zero Days

This. I'll remember them for life. Thank you.

[–]rayyaal1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

No Zero Days is what I think whenever I fail at doing something I needed to do (eg. get sick and can't go to MT class). I just make sure to use that time reading, practicing an instrument, or socializing. Then the next week I make sure to go to MT practice :'( because otherwise I get crippling depression for not having done what I was supposed to.

[–]BeyondDedication3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

If you have bad minute does it ruin your hour? A bad hour ruin your day? A bad day ruin you week?

Less micro, more macro. Stay focused and keep kicking ass.

[–]nedshepherd1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wow. Thank you.

[–]Ika-1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wow indeed, what a fantastic way to put it. Thanks!

[–]jeezydasnowman2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Four weeks ago I made $300 in two weeks. All my bills got behind, my car was in the shop for way longer than it should have been, things were terrible. Soon as I got the car back I put in an eighty hour week - bills paid and almost caught up now.

When things get rough grind it out. If your job doesn't allow overtime get a side gig for a few weeks/months til the bills are paid.

[–]trancedj2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Never take yourself or life too seriously. No one gets out alive. Dust yourself off, lean on your bros if you can, then get back at it.

Good luck man and stay awesome.

[–]yellowmonkeyzx93[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks buddy. I have the same view.

Someone once told me.. if you have to make a decision.. choose the path that will give a story worth telling for a lifetime.

Will do. I make my own luck in life.

[–]Shamlei2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

When I fail a day I like to chill out, pop a beer and a cigarette and relax thinking about why I failed and remembering why i'm doing this. I also plan out my next day which will be lived 110%.

Failing one day is okay, just chill and relax, failling multiple days in a row is very bad and you should stop and change your way of living.

[–]Rdeasnuts1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

i try to tell myself that theres no such thing as a bad day, only a bad hour. you can change or do something to make it better.

also, every day comes to an end. the next day is different from before.

I also put down my phone, laptop, television off, etc for 15 minutes a day at least and just meditate with myself and think about how i could be better tomorrow than today.

[–]yellowmonkeyzx93[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

also, every day comes to an end. the next day is different from before.

Thanks man. I think the same too. However, things in my life are been tougher on me. I can't afford to wait for the next day. I do like what you said about it being a bad hour and I can change it / make it better.

Will try the 15 minutes mediation thing.

[–]Rdeasnuts1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

yeah man. everyone has peaks and valleys they go through. once you hit that peak, you're gonna walk through a valley before you hit that next peak. find what works for you and use it

[–]deadwoodcylon 2 points2 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Discipline. Force yourself to get up and do little things like making your bed, doing laundry, putting shit away, or cleaning your place to get yourself started.

You don't need motivation. You need discipline.

For example, if you call yourself a creative artist, you don't sit around waiting for motivation, you get up at 7 a.m. every fucking morning and create something whether you're feeling it or not.

[–]yellowmonkeyzx93[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's been tough for me. I've read the Red Pill and I now understand how important discipline is. I'll have another go again.

Thanks mate for reminding. Appreciate it.

[–]latiostw1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Keep in mind Rome wasn't built in one day. It takes effort and discipline to become the best man you can ever be.

Keep going at it.

[–]Aywing1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Imagine having total control over your future, and then picture it as awesome as you want it to be, hard to stay down after that.

[–]drqxx1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

[–]chaseemall1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Honestly, the first thing I'll do is ask myself:

Did I get enough sleep?

Have I eaten enough?

Do I need caffeine?

Did I take my Vitamin D this morning?

Have I gotten enough sodium (other electrolytes too)?

Have I missed more than one workout?

If all these things are taken care of. I simply remind myself of my singular truth:

I deserve to exist.

I follow the chain of logic from there to realize that I have all that I need to survive. If I didn't, I wouldn't deserve to. Not only that, I deserve to be happy, because happiness is having all that you need to survive and reproduce.

I follow the logic, reason it out for myself, and I feel better.

Hope this helps!

[–]1v1mebruh1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

A few things help me. It's about catching the negative thoughts and depression and u-turning every time they come up. The methods below help me u-turn instantly, have a mental slap in the face, and think "jesus, that was stupid, let's get back to kicking life in the ass."

1) Having a positive mantra you can say to yourself and connect with on a spiritual level about confidence and fighting on. This sounds gay and cheesy, but it's not, it's honestly pretty simple. There's a book out there called Unbeatable Mind, written by a navy seal who I guess was so god damn good at what he did, he went on to instruct navy seals, and he talks about the mantra "feed the courage wolf". He talks about how everyone has two wolves inside of them, the fear wolf and the courage wolf. When we are depressed or scared or don't believe in ourselves, we are feeding the fear wolf. You choose to feed the courage wolf instead; every time you are depressed or lack the confidence to do something, you recognize that you have been presented with an opportunity to feed your courage wolf, push on, and grow stronger. You choose to feed your courage wolf, confront the source of your fear/depression/anxiety, and become a tougher, stronger man. You can do this every time you have a negative thought.

2) Meditate. If you can get good at mindfulness meditation, you can literally close your eyes and meditate for a few seconds and you'll feel your anxiety and depression dissipate. Then open your eyes and get back to life. You may have to do this many times throughout the day, but it's SUPER effective.

3) Recognize that any challenge you have been presented with, even if the challenge is some bullshit hardship you shouldn't have to endure, is a chance for you to prove that you're better than everyone else and can handle it without letting it break you. I have a few bullshit injuries right now, and instead of wallowing in my own self pity and being miserable that I can't go work out and be buff like normal people, I recognize this as an opportunity to face hardship and beat it. Doing all the physical therapy exercises, icing all the time, not being able to do a lot of normal things, it really sucks. BUT I don't sit there and cry, I realize that I am being tested, and I will beat my hardships and pass the test and prove that I am a superior man.

Meditation and a quick mantra are to be used for the quick mental u-turn to start feeling positive in that moment, and the last point about viewing hardships and struggles as chances to prove your character and will should be used as your frame for handling longer term struggles.

[–]yellowmonkeyzx93[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Thank you. Your comment was the most informative of them all. Appreciate your effort.

I do have two life quotes.. so thanks for reminding me.

..Unbeatable Mind,

I'm going to place this on my reading list. Again, thanks.

Recognize that any challenge you have been presented with, even if the challenge is some bullshit hardship you shouldn't have to endure, is a chance for you to prove that you're better than everyone else and can handle it without letting it break you.

Best thing I've heard in a long long time.

[–]1v1mebruh1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Thank you for the praise! Im happy that I could help you. You may have to repeat your mental saying or meditate many times throughout the day, as this type of depression comes in quick swings, but keep injecting yourself with doses of confidence and resilience and fight on.

[–]yellowmonkeyzx93[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Noted. I'll keep on fighting.

There's saying I read in a book. It takes courage to stand alone. It takes even greater courage to ask for help.

Everyone here helped me for a while when I needed it the most. Sometimes, I tell myself, strangers make better friends than real friends.

I've read online how self-centered, selfish and negative Red Pillers are. However, here I see differently.

The Red Pill is my brotherhood that I've yearn to find and join. Again, thank you and I'll repeat the sayings / use your advice.

[–]brooklynisburnin1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Due to a lack of a father figure, I am my own father figure, every time blue hits hard I just remember where I come from and what I've achieved in the short time I've done it. The decisions I had to take, the sacrifices I had to make and the goals I've already achieved.

It's definitely a self pat on the back, but we all are humans after all, the difference is that we have the ability of picking ourselves up, we do not depend on others to tell us that "it's going to be alright" because we know so.

[–]yellowmonkeyzx93[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree. We have no else but ourselves who will truly realize the sacrifices we ourselves make.

I know we can duke it alone in life.. yet I know how much of a difference a father figure can make. I know how much of a difference asking the right people for help. So, I appreciate the words you've said to me. With you guys, no one here has to go through life unaided.

[–]bonerfleximus1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

In my bluepill days I asked a friend who always seemed to be focused and motivated this same question. His response was simply "you have to find it in yourself" and for some reason that changed me. From then on, pursuit of happiness was just something I do like brushing my teeth. When shit got bad I'd take a step back and acknowledge that life is long and one bad day/week/year can be replaced by 10 good ones. The " life is short" people are the ones who stop trying

[–]yellowmonkeyzx93[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The " life is short" people are the ones who stop trying

I disagree. It makes you realize how little and precious life is. It makes you want to spend it all the more wiser and fuller. In that, this idea has helped me through life.

[–]roeddit 2 points2 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Get some sleep - that's the best medicine - resets your hormones, neurotransmitters, emotions.

Do something dumb with your bros if they're around.

[–]yellowmonkeyzx93[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks mate. Will do. Appreciate it.

[–]BowlOfCandy1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The Red Pill may not be the most useful toolbox to manage depression, essentially you're just gonna hear "man up" several different ways. What TRP advocates is really just that, so it could help depending on your perspective.

I like to perceive TRP through the guise of Hedonistic Nihilism - Hedonism is the pursuit of pleasure, and Nihilism is the concept that everything is pretty much meaningless. This framework is useful in dealing with many facets of life, particularly inter-gender relations. Concepts like Briffault's Law, AWALT, female conditionality of love, disposability of men, Alpha/Beta dichotomy, etc. are dry extensions of human biology. There is no sense in trying to negotiate new behavior - TRP enforces this perspective, "man up". Embracing this gives you a sense of abundance in life - kind of like a "shit happens" perspective.

In the end we are all alone as men, it's lonely at the top and we don't get a day off. Perhaps the best we can get is a fraternal bond with another man, which provides a sense of solidarity that you can never get from a solipsistic woman. She is but a responsible teenager, that's it.

I wish you the best in getting out of your funk.

[–]yellowmonkeyzx93[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hence why this community exists. To provide that male solidarity.

[–]procrastinator7890 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I look at "old money dog" memes, always puts things into perspective

[–]yellowmonkeyzx93[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

It's pretty good actually. Just checked it out. Thanks.

One way I cope is by getting a full bottle of water or two and drinking it (at night of course to end the day, if its really bad). It's really therapeutic for me.. for some strange reason. We all have ways to cope..

[–]1v1mebruh1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Interesting you mention that, dehydration really does put a passive tiredness on people that's hard to detect. This would explain how drinking water helps, since most people are dehydrated throughout the day without realizing it. I know this technique helps me too, thanks for teaching me something as well.

[–]yellowmonkeyzx93[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yup. I agree that less water makes people lethargic. I keep telling people, less coffee and sports drinks. More water, fruits and exercise.

Another reason I drink water is because I know how damaging alcohol is. At least, when I drink that much water, I'll be fresh in the morning after I sleep.

However, max is two bottles of water for me. I read somewhere that overdrinking water can induce "water intoxication".. think alcohol intoxication except much milder.

[–]postreformedpua0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

You need to hear this

[–]yellowmonkeyzx93[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks man!! Heard it before though.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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