I started gaming really this year, after one full year of hardcore monkmode where I almost entirely stopped drinking, smoking pot and also started lifting, meditating, reading a lot, focusing on my career etc.

The last two months have been very good for me, sexually speaking. I had a few weeks where I slept with a different girl evey other day, and thought I finally landed four plates which would provide me a rich and satisfying sex-life.

But these last weeks have been pretty shit. I approached a few girls yes, and get a number or two every week-end approximately. I text these girls but many stop answering at some point.

Of the four girls I thought I plated for good (fucked them 3 to 10 nights each), most of them have changed their situation. For instance :

The first one finally left her boyfriend (she was cheating on him with me beforehand) because she slept with another dude when I was away for two weeks. I only saw her once since, outside and we didn't fuck because frankly she was an emotional mess. She's now very distant but says she still wants to see me.

The second one started seeing someone, obviously very beta but she seems to be looking for commitment. I saw her since but every time we see each other, she says it's the last time and that we have to stop. However when I reinitiate contact and keep frame through her resistance she's always down to meet me again. She's attracted to me but maybe feels bad about it ? Still pisses me off and seems very unstable.

The third one, I don't know, she seems to be down to meet and fuck but doesn't initiate contact, haven't seen her in one month.

These three provide very good sex, likes it rough etc.

The last one was a virgin when we first fucked. She started getting attached and since the sex wasn't good and she's not that hot compared to the others, I dropped her.

I'm also texting a few other girls I met online or offline but it doesn't seem to lead to anything right now, except this girl I met at a concert last weekend and we planned to grab a drink in two days.

My problem is this :

I did spent one year without (almost) any sexual interaction, and I was actually fine by myself. Lifting, reading, writing, hiking, working on my projects etc, all my energy was available to work on myself. Of course I was thinking about getting girls in the future but it wasn't eating my brain.

Now that I had a glimpse at sexual abundance through plates, I can't seem to find this energy back, and my mind is constantly focused on getting girls, trying to meet them. Even if I game multiple girls at the same time, I lost abundance mentality and am actually needy.

I still lift, meditate etc, but that doesn't seem to do the trick. I also lack creativity right now and that's important for what I do.

Everytime when I plan to see a girl and it fails I feel so lonely and miserable at night, and most of the time it is too late to even plan something else with friends or anything.

I feel like sexual abundance is a drug and I just had a taste of it. I feel like a fucking junkie who needs his shot. I also stopped watching porn and masturbate only once a week if I don't get laid, which don't help with sexual urges.

One one hand this makes me want a LTR but none of these girls are worth it. Ideally I'd just want to plate them but now that i'm doubting that I can, I feel like I'm fucking this up and it's a vicious circle.

I know I should stop chasing and focus on myself but I just can't. I want to fuck.