Conflicted about game advice. Getting mixed input

May 25, 2019
64 upvotes

I have a friend that is 6'6" and does very well with women. He says his notch count is close to 250. I have seen him bang many women and I can verify he is definitely in the triple digits. I have seen women approach him when we're out and throw themselves at him, it really is mind boggling. Actually when we go out I'll usually open then he is the closer.

He tells me advice with women that I feel is bad game and goes against what many here would recommend doing. I tell him that sounds needy or its a bad idea and he says how many guys do you know with as much expierence as me? I know what I'm talking about. And I guess I can't argue with that. My notch count is only at 17 so I don't know what I'm doing half the time.

A couple examples of what I'm talking about....

I went out on a couple dates with this girl recently and she ended up telling me she is still talking to her ex and we can't see each other right now. I told her call me when you get rid of him and soft nexted her. My friend says just text her once every other week saying hi or whatever to stay on her radar. That she has dudes blowing her phone up all the time since she is attractive otherwise you fall off the top list.

An ex gf wanted to put me in friend zone. I told her I'm not going to be friends, we're either romantic or not. Call me when you actually want to give things a try. My friend says no, just be cool, be a friend, and weasel your way into her pants. That every girl that he is "friends" with he has banged.

Here we say text only for logistics. He says text a girl on a regular basis so you are on her mind since she is getting attention non stop by other dudes. She can't miss you if you aren't in her life.

A lot of this stuff he says seems blue pilled or needy to me. But then I'm like he should know what he is saying since he has so much experience. So it pretty much fucks with my head. His height may help him and make it so his game doesn't need to be very tight, but I feel like if that's so women would leave him constantly after a bit. He seems to be the one to always dump them.

I'm 5'9" so I don't know if I can afford to do this stuff he says

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Post Information
Title Conflicted about game advice. Getting mixed input
Author Gunslinger1122
Upvotes 64
Comments 61
Date May 25, 2019 3:01 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit /r/askTRP
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/conflicted-about-game-advice-getting-mixed-input.239649
https://theredarchive.com/post/239649
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/bsvfww/conflicted_about_game_advice_getting_mixed_input/
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[–]truthbomb99965 points66 points  (34 children) | Copy Link

-I have a friend that is 6'6" and does very well with women. He says his notch count is close to 250. -

This guy isn't slaying just because he is tall. Im 6-3 and the shit isn't that fucking easy. He could have a super fit body, tight game, or look like a model. Too much being left out.

He is giving bad advice especially with that friend zone shit and trying to "nice" your way into her pants. The difference is because HE is friend zoning THEM, not the other way around.

Just because he fucks a lot of girls doesn't sound like it's due to his game or just his height alone.

At 5 9, you are average, so I suggest you work on your fitness to stand out

[–]empatheticapathetic30 points31 points  (33 children) | Copy Link

You have no idea what a game changer height is. I have a 6’4 blue pill friend and Jesus Christ it’s insane. He gets cold approached by women, in a club all women approach him. His face sucks and he’s socially retarded but just being that tall changes everything.

[–]fds_111 points12 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

Nobody here is denying height helps. Women want to feel small and protected and thus usually end up with a guy that's bigger than her. But it's also wrong to go black pill incel way and say:"I'm 5'6 and I will never get laid." Most women will shit test you about your height, trust me, I know. Now, some women geniuly don't want to date guys their height or a bit shorter but most of girls shit test guy and the guys think they lost. The look women give you when you show them they can't touch you with their shit tests is something to behold. But, in case some of my "short kings" are wondering what are some good responses to shit test about height, here are some I use... "Yeah, I'm actually playing Tyrion in the spin off of Game of Thrones. I'm told I got the wit for it." - "You like tall guys? No way, me too." - "Yeah, I was wondering if we could go to your place and try out some of your high heels?" - "Yeah, I don't really know where those couple of inches went. Oh wait, yes I do." It's a game folks, just have some fun with it and enjoy yourself.

[–]Nis_law9 points10 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Solid advice but sadly its no use giving advice to people who have accepted defeat and blame their genetics. Don't waste your energy, trust me I've tried it for years. I've personally seen height getting destroyed by 5'5 guys with frame and fun loving attitude.

IT IS ALL ABOUT DOPAMINE AND HOW MUCH YOUR WORDS INDUCE DOPAMINE IN CHICKS. WORK ON YOUR FRAME, GAME AND CREATIVE INSULTS TO GET IN WOMEN'S MINDS. HEIGHT HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.

But in order to do that you must be willing and build your own will power. Don't make every approach about sex. Make it about game. Make it about convincing the girl and yourself that she is chasing you not otherwise. To do that you need to win the battle over your own urges of quick dopamine fixes first. Steel your mind, read the sidebar and stop entering your god damn friends frame just cuz he is 6'6. I am fuckin sick of the newbies here.

[–]Vikingcel0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

You think a 5'6 chick would get the same hit of dopamine by hearing "I'll destroy yo vag" from a 5'6 guy as when hearing the same from a 6' lad?

[–]Nis_law3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

If all other things like facial bone structure, perceived SMV (other characteristics than height), bodyfat percentage, social status, vocabulary, usage of sexual imnuendos, hairstyle, facial hairstyle, level of grooming, personal hygiene, game sense, social calibration, frame, flirting game, body language, facial expressions, eye contact, playfulness, level of assholery, IDGAF attitude, element of mystery, indirect/direct game leading up to the bold statement, level of authenticity (should be non existent), the level of physical escalation with her, sexual pacing, voice tone and a few other variables are the same, then no. The girl would go with the 6' lad. Red pill is synonym for hard to swallow truths. Height matters, more than we think it does but do I suggest going the black pill route? Hell no.

[–]Vikingcel0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Exactly.

Height, bone structure etc. does matter a lot, despite what people will say here. Does it mean you should give up if you ain't Chad? No. It does mean that your success with women might be severely limited, even if you got game. That's hard to swallow, but everyone here likes to beat around the bush.

[–]Nis_law1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Good luck with that frame.

[–]Vikingcel1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

What kind of a frame would you recommend?

[–]whiffofass 1 points [recovered]  (6 children) | Copy Link

I think all that really matters is that you are taller than the girl. Girls can't tell how tall you are. If you make her feel feminine she will think you are taller than you really are. I'm a little under 5'10" and I went full roid beast mode. I don't think many women would prefer a lanky dude with no muscle over me. At least that's my mindset and it works out for me.

I haven't met a single girl who hasn't shit tested me bby mentioning my height or asking me how tall I was.

[–]thy_shall_win1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I'm bang on 5'7 barefooted and I've never had issues with my height and never had shit tests regarding it. I hear a lot of stories about guys being shit tested for it and it seems mostly average height guys have the biggest height complex out there. I've been with girls my height too. Maybe like you said, it's how I present myself or the way I look, I'm not too sure what it is.

[–]whiffofass 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

I probably get shit tested because of the muscle mass I carry. It looks like I'm trying to be be big (bodybuilding) so I can understand why they do it.

[–]thy_shall_win1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

My body shape is more atheletic/aesthetic or that's the aim anyway, so could be true. I suppose if a girl can tell you take it serious enough to take steroids then straight away it gives off an insecure vibe about size. So she knows it's a good option to try and get a rise out of you.

[–]fds_11 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I hope you don't really mean you took roids. Also, 5'10 is actually pretty tall in comparison to girls, from my experience, 5'8 and below is where real shit testing happens

[–]SnivelingCoward0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yup im 5'10 never once been shit tested on height. Never been considered "short" either by guys during ball busting.

Ironically ive been called tall by some guys, some 6'3 guys think im 6'1 its weird. Im confident and have a strong frame i think it influences their perception of my height.

[–]redhawkes17 points18 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I have friends who're 185 or taller and can't fuck/talk to chicks to save their lives.

Height ain't excuse. About the OP's question, when your SMV is really high, you need to tone down the assholery (you'll look intimidating), think Amused Mastery. Bitches lap it up.

[–]empatheticapathetic1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It’s probably about what’s in scarcity. If everyone’s masculine but not that tall, then the tall guy has a specific edge.

[–]redhawkes3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

None of those things are in scarcity, especially height. What's in scarcity is game. If those guys learn that mindset, they'll slay. They get IOI's, but are too socially retarded to act upon, great guys otherwise. Tried to help out when I got asked how I talk to chicks, they flipped out when I told them to treat them like children. Never again.

OTOH, one of my friends who's about 165 tops, is like a guy straight outta sidebar. Slays left and right, low English knowledge, let alone reading TRP.

[–]truthbomb9995 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I'm 6-3....never had any of those experiences at a vanilla club...never met a women on tinder...it isn't changing much for me. I will concede that some short guys mention it as an issue, but being tall isn't just an "I win at pussy" button

[–]empatheticapathetic1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Weird that my friend is doing so well then. Maybe it depends on scarcity of tall people. If everyone around you is similar height then it might not be so special.

[–]SnivelingCoward0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

theres style, face, body type, etc.

also personality and aura/vibe

[–]markyp12343 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Not really. I know a guy who is 6’2-3 from my school (he’s way too tall in a country where average height for men is about 5’5) He’s socially dumb, and legit looks like a monkey. He was the tallest guy in my school but turns out he never got any girls. On the other hand I’ve seen shorter guys get more girls (5’5-5’7) than him. They were socially extroverted with many friends, confident, and physically fit. What I noticed is that normal social skills and dating game goes hand in hand. If you’re an introvert and socially awkward with 2-3 friends, you wouldn’t get jack shit. On the other hand if you’re social and friendly with people in general (regardless of gender) and generally hang out more with many people and have many friends along with basic social confidence, you won’t have much problem getting a girl, provided you don’t look horrible. But then, my experience/observation is only limited to a few years of high school.

[–]empatheticapathetic0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

My experience with my friend is different. He does nothing and gets girls easily.

No overall conclusion then.

[–]jeco770 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Oh he’s doing something you are just oblivious to it and attributing it to his height.

[–]empatheticapathetic0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

His game is non existent, he’s only just moved out of his parents and he’s very socially uncalibrated (more due to a neurological condition) and he is very blue pill.

But he’s tall.

[–]DonaldBaelish1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

The guy literally said that he’s 6’3.

[–]empatheticapathetic0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I know. I’m just giving an example of my friend who is 6’4.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lol exactly. "6'3 too short, 6'4 perfect!" Give me a break

[–]Flintblood0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Does he even left though? Height plus a pretty decent body and fashion sense is just enough buff for slaying.

Height with a skinny fat or fat body and no fashion style won’t help.

[–]LethalShade0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Doubt it, must be more to it. I'm 6'3 and decently good looking and I rarely get cold approached but girls are pretty receptive if I do the approaching.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

No he doesn't, please stop lying

[–]empatheticapathetic1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

He doesn’t what?

[–]KeffirLime47 points48 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

The difference is he's approaching this with an IDGAF attitude.

You can text your ex and fuck her if you really don't give a shit, but if you're going to fall beck into beta oneites then it's not a good idea.

If the girl is still talking to her ex you can still go ahead and fuck her, shouldn't mean anything to you, she's not your wife, just some random you hooked up with.

He's texting for purpose, not constantly conversing about bullshit and chatting about eachothers lifestory.

It's seem the main difference between your friend and you is he's univestedly just worried about fucking chicks, which is why he does whereas as you're looking for woman to get involved and invested with, which is why don't.

[–]lookoutitscaleb11 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Most of the "rules" of TRP aren't rules to make people robots. They're tools to help people taking the pill break free from their BP conditioning. There are plenty of TRP "rules" I've broken with women and had things "work out".

[–]KeffirLime21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, alot of the rules are built to unfuck guys who are so far down the rabbit hole.

Once you've got it you can play around with what works for you because you have a solid grasp on the consequences of your decisions.

[–]tyronethejabrone2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

No doubt.

But all this is, is OP making a big deal about sex and getting involved with a girl, and OP’s friend does not.

All the other answers are so far off the mark and it wasn’t even a hard diagnosis

Not to mention u/gunslinger1122, if you don’t care about a girl, any amount of investment is the right investment really.

It doesn’t hurt to put yourself out there and remind a girl you’re game if you don’t care

[–]Tousen7114 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Here’s the reality:

You have to fine tune your own system based on your output.

His output:

If he’s 6’6, outwardly confident, handsome, well dressed, has a good job, smiles a lot, etc. girls will be attracted to him because of his height (biological pre-selection), and if he can hold a conversation and be funny, it’s a lay up.

He has value.

And when you have inherent value because of your external and internal attributes, you DO (I repeat, YOU DO) have room to fuck up.

Girls won’t see the occasional text as annoying or needy—depending on what he says and the frequency of his correspondence.

But it IS bad game, nonetheless.

The girls aren’t texting him first, keep that in mind. Which means their interest is low, and he’s artificially trying to raise it with proactive texts.

This may be effective (depending on the girl’s age) in the short term, but long term I promise those girls will simply not text back if they’ve lost interest.

In short, due to some combination of charisma and physical appeal, your boy is creating enough value and interest to get by and you need to beef up your own output to try to achieve the same effect.

[–]VasiliyZaitzev25 points26 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

He scores because hes 6'6" and probably good looking. It's like superman saying "Oh, don't worry, you can totally just jump off this cliff and fly!" Yeah, that works - if you're Superman.

I used to play in a band with a guy who was a total bluepill and something of a loser besides, BUT he was crazy good-looking. He got laid left and right. He could read the phone book to girls and text for comfort, and they'd bang him. And 2-3 weeks later either he or they would be on to the next.

Also, about "texting for logistics only" - that's for beginners. Lots of n00bs talk/text themselves right out of getting laid.

[–]Vikingcel11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

He scores because hes 6'6" and probably good looking. It's like superman saying "Oh, don't worry, you can totally just jump off this cliff and fly!" Yeah, that works - if you're Superman.

Exactly. Never take pickup advice from a guy like that, they play a different game.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I think due to his notches, despite what you might call bad game, his inner game and experience in calibrating compensates. I mean there’s all kinds of game, not one correct system and there are always exceptions. If he’s a natural, he’s got his own system that he’s prolly figured out and it almost definitely won’t reflect red pill 100%

[–]PolukranosEatsWords7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I mean there’s all kinds of game, not one correct system and there are always exceptions.

Right. A good analogy is the martial arts. There's an MMA gym that has their mantra as "whatever works". Every so often they see guys do things that "you're not supposed to do" and get great success with it. The thing is though, they learned (mostly intuitive, trial and error) how to make very subtle compensations to their techniques to make it work.

Fighting, like game, has a lot of factors at play. Timing, distance, mental frame, environment, so on. Even though we are bound to work within abstract universals like human psychology and physiology to create our strategies, there are still near limitless ways to express ourselves within those confines.

So my advice for OP would be to continue observing him and trying to see those subtleties. How much of his success is owed to his body giving him enough license to get away with "bad techniques"? Is he doing something nuanced with his timing that you missed before (when he texts them)?

[–]ZealousFeet1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Very introspective.

[–]tazih 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

Everyone in this thread is so dumb. What happened to this forum man?

The whole reason behind soft-nexting and not constantly texting these girls was because the advice was meant for beta orbiters, who needed a wake up call that their neediness was not working for them. That is the actual purpose of not constantly thinking about this or that particular girl, and instead to retain a centered manhood that would, in the end, make you better with girls.

What he is doing is objectively better for the expressed goal of sleeping with women. When that girl tells you that you can't see each other right now, that's fine. She's in some shit that she's trying to figure out. Let her be. But yes you should occasionally text her about just friendly stuff and not try to explicitly fuck her. At some point her man will piss her off, pr something will happen and she will look through her phone and scroll down to last weeks messages to see your texts and who knows what could happen.

So he's right on that one.

As far as your ex, again, the original trp advice was to hard next her to leave that shit in the past and improve on yourself. The advice was meant for blue pilled guys that were obsessed over getting back "the one" while they missed out on girls right in front of them. So his advice for strictly fucking her is the same, just be friends. Have you ever "just been friends" with your ex? It can lead to sex pretty easily.

So that's all he's saying. You have to think about the reason behind the advice, the context and who it was meant for. Just looking at him on the surface and saying, "this or that piece of advice sounds beta" gets you nowhere. You have to think, what are my goals, what am I trying to do here? The answer will come after that.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Best answer.

[–]goblinboglin4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

His key is he doesn't give a fuck.

You can't be a beta if you don't give a fuck.

[–]MatSapientia2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Every person should have his own inner game. Even if someone else wants to copycat, it won’t always be as effective or even work at all

[–]Thotamus_Prime2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have a friend that is the same. If he goes on a date and it doesn't end in sex he stays friends with that girl. He's had a plate that's lasted 8 years for this exact reason. They wont fuck for 12 months then one day she'll just be in the mood.

Most TRP game is actually designed to stop you getting oneitis and being needy. However if you are actually outcome indepedent and can manage your time then your friend has a good strategy.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

As ive said before. Game is for ugly guys. Brad pitt could be a cringefactory and his smv will trump any pua.

[–]machiavellianlaws3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

He’s 6’6

[–]Thinkingard1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You don't need game if you're a natural like your friend is. It's like a guy who's 6'6" who kills it at basketball giving a short guy advice. Game is for guys who can't naturally pull girls. TRP is for guys who can pull girls but probably need help keeping them or going for higher quality girls or they lack inner game.

[–]boy_named_su1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I believe in the black pill for ONS and maybe plates. You can be a beta schlub and still slay if you're good looking enough. Red pill is necessary if you want a long term plate or LTR. You need game if you're not that good looking

You should hit up the first girl a few times anyways. But ignore your ex forever

[–]Flintblood1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have seen him bang many women

Were you a willing or unwilling witness to those deeds? I couldn’t help but laugh when I read that part.

[–]walawalawa1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

He says his notch count is close to 250. I have seen him bang many women and I can verify he is definitely in the triple digits.

There is an unhealthy tendency to compare one's self to another "natural" when you're starting out. Everyone is at a different place in their journey. If you're adopting the Red Pill and learning Game it's because you're actually UN Learning Blue Pill, Beta "AFC" ideas.

I went out on a couple dates with this girl recently and she ended up telling me she is still talking to her ex and we can't see each other right now. I told her call me when you get rid of him and soft nexted her.

Good except you can't "Soft-next" a girl you haven't banged. Also don't TELL her anything, just drop her.

My friend says just text her once every other week saying hi or whatever to stay on her radar. That she has dudes blowing her phone up all the time since she is attractive otherwise you fall off the top list.

Totally wrong advice. Don't follow this. The ONLY reason it may work for him is that he truly doesn't care and has absolutely ZERO calibration. You're not at that point yet so don't do this.

My friend says no, just be cool, be a friend, and weasel your way into her pants. That every girl that he is "friends" with he has banged.

This is also WRONG. It may work for a "natural" if they've already banged the girl and have friend-zoned her and she's using this idea of "being friends" as a way of shit-testing a guy. Again, you're not at that point so don't do this.

He seems to be the one to always dump them.

He doesn't care and has an abundance mentality. Trust in the Red Pill and follow Game advice until you're at a point of having abundance.

I had a "friend", more of an acquaintance. He seemed to also be banging many more girls than me. But then I took a closer look. He was banging older more damaged women, I'm banging younger hotter women which are harder but stick around longer. So the "notch" count is irrelevant.

I also noticed that among the younger hotter women he claimed to have banged, he was actually paying for them either as their Sugar Daddy or outright whoring.

I stopped hanging out with him around a year ago and would only acknowledge him in social situations because he was such a douche on many levels. I realized he had nothing to teach me and was actually a jerk---never buying drinks when we went out, leaching off me and my friends.

The other point here is the guy one day got arrested for sexual assault and may face very serious charges.

So my suspicions that he's completely uncalibrated were realized. The moral of this story---don't compare yourself to others and if his advice is fucking with your head, drop him as a friend. Find people who actually complement your life.

[–]Alliaenor1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

He's just more handsome than you, that's all. Stop focusing on your friend and do the best you can do with what you have.

[–]Gunslinger1122 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

Looks aren't going to compensate that much

[–]Twenty_league_boots2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Sorry to break this to you, but yes they are.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Isn't this a repost from a couple days ago?

[–]Zanford0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

You need to tell us more about your friend. Is he 6'6" and also really good looking? Or if he one of those tall-awkward guys with shitty posture? What are HIS interactions with women like in the flesh (you'e told us his advice to you, but not what he actually does in the moment to be a 'closer').

He is likely a natural who doesn't know much game at a conscious level but his interactions are naturally alpha without him even realizing (probably due to a nice snowball effect of confidence where he had good early experiences thanks tot his height and looks, and now women can smell the preselection from his demeanor).

His 'sure, be friends' advice probably works for him b/c he's tall and good looking, and because it's HIM doing it (false disqualification / self-disqualification / push-pull) rather them him letting HER put him in the friend zone. Overall he sounds like he has a very non-needy attitude, and that's why his natural game is good.

Also, whether your examples are good game on your part depend on tone. "Get back to me when you're over the ex" can come across as butthurt and brittle with the wrong tone of voice.

[–]uptimex0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I know that most people don't quite much like Mystery in TRP but he said a good thing that is related to this situation "if you control frame, you can break any rules and the game will still work". Not word by word, but the idea.

[–]a_nus0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

An ex gf wanted to put me in friend zone. I told her I'm not going to be friends, we're either romantic or not. Call me when you actually want to give things a try. My friend says no, just be cool, be a friend, and weasel your way into her pants. That every girl that he is "friends" with he has banged.

I can vouch for this one. You setting an ultimatum of either romantic or not kind of makes you seem a little too serious and intense. If you just be chill "sure whatever, we're friends." and have a fun time whenever y'all are out, you're guaranteed to end up sleeping with her at some point. If two friends are relatively attractive, hangout often enough, and both have a good time, it'll happen. Unless she has a BF that's in the dynamic.

Trust me, it's happened for me every single time. Just play chill. If they wanna be friends, sure. If they don't, whatever. You just relax and enjoy your life. Enjoy them as friends. Eventually they'll start to feel comfortable around you to the point to where y'all can go out and party and mess around and shit.

[–]neomorphivolatile-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You sound like a real bitch and your friend is probably giving you joke advice. You should be feng shui about the whole thing, and if the girl drops you, move on to find some better tail.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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