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Difficulties turning One Night Stands to Fuck Buddies

October 23, 2017
10 upvotes

Hi,

I've been slaying pretty nicely last couple of months but there is a new problem I've encountered which started to manifest 2-3 months ago.

Girls tend to one night stand me. I'm really finding any specific pattern here. No matter how good or bad the night goes and how we seem to connect. I'm really having trouble to see them again (mostly not seeing them again. I haven't been able to see again last 7 girls).

It really doesn't seem to matter :

  • If they cum or not (yup, I'm lazy sometimes)
  • How much pillow talk we have
  • How much time I spend with her before sex (30mins or 3 hours).
  • Do I use condom or not
  • How hot they are

Some girls even message me the next day and are really eager to see me when we text during the following week but when the arranged date day comes a week later - they flake. And if I ask again, they agree to see again and then flake again. - All responding quickly politely to my messages and even investing by themselves by asking questions from me.

Some girls sneak or try to sneak away from my appartment without waking me up.

All I can think off is that I'm giving too much player vibe or not building enough comfort. Maybe I push too hard for sex? And if these are the issues (unless someone comes up a better idea), how should I build more comfort without going too much to a beta zone? I feel like the next step is going for full beta behaviour before and after sex to build enough comfort to block their buyer's remorse.

Ofc there is this "too high value"-thing but it's hard to imagine that a guy who just has his shit together is suddenly "too high value". And I still get rejected on average ~8-9 times a night before pulling so it's not like everything happens easily.

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Post Information
Title Difficulties turning One Night Stands to Fuck Buddies
Author Zech4riah
Upvotes 10
Comments 27
Date October 23, 2017 3:41 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit /r/askTRP
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/difficulties-turning-one-night-stands-to-fuck.116792
https://theredarchive.com/post/116792
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/788k7d/difficulties_turning_one_night_stands_to_fuck/
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Comments

[–]BestSC8621 points22 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

You are dealing with bar sluts......

Why would you expect them to come over for reheated leftovers when a bright new interesting dinner is on the menu the very next night at Club "Choose my next piece of dick".

And why in the world would you want to bring a chick that will jump on any old random guy's dick at a moment's notice into your life?

I hope you are not looking for a unicorn among this group of CC riding club sluts? That would be a bad thing to do.

[–]Zech4riah[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Like the title says, just trying to get enough stable fuck buddies that I don't have to count on only 1 or 2.

And again, not looking for an unicorn. Just FB.

[–]HappyMexican2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Seems like nonstop buyers remorse. What causes buyers remorse?

  1. Slept with them waaaaay to quickly, did not establish enough comfort/rapport. Maybe you taking too many drunk chicks home lol. Jesus man, try to go on a couple of dates with them first, you sexy hound dog.
  2. They were in another relationship already. Maybe your town has a high married population?
  3. Check your hygiene, make sure you place is clean too. Make sure you not spitting bad breath, stinky feet or head full of dandruff. This stuff can make buyers remorse happen after they sober up.
  4. Lastly, google yourself. There may be something they are looking up after the fact that is causing this.

Nice job too, really depending on what you want for yourself, your situation could be seen as ideal

[–]Zech4riah[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

No they are not too drunk. I don't like too drunk girls. Number closes from NG to arrange dates are pain in the ass but I guess i could try them too instead of potentially pulling.

These girls were single (according to facebook)

Hygiene is good, I always quick wash my junk before sex and generally I'm a hygienic guy.

[–]_the_shape_15 points16 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

In my experience, turning a girl into a FB is much easier through social circles than same-night pulls.

[–]Bear-With-Bit2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree. I've seen this both for myself and my natural rp friends.

[–]Zech4riah[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yup, seems so. a solid NG number with sex on a day 2 seems to be working better for plating - even when you take the flakiness of NG numbers into account.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Agreed. 70% of my plates were from social circles.

[–]HappyMexican1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

yeah I only had a couple of FWB, and they were social circles.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The reason why it's so much more simple is because they know of you. If you're friends of a friend that they like, there's already a positive thought associated with you. The rest is just not saying retarded shit.

[–]Renzotl567 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ive noticed it too. Seems like girls just wanna get with a high smv guy then when he hits her up after she doesn't want to feel used/ or won't take you seriously since she thinks you aren't a possible mate.

Those are my ideas, it's been happening to me too and i have yet to figure out exactly why.

Have way more success with taking out a girl out on a date or something then fucking frequently rather than picking up a one night stand from a party or bar.

[–]2SirKolbath7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I noticed something similar. Ah well. There are worse things than hitting a new ass four times a week.

[–]Zech4riah[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ye but the problem is that I'm lazy. I wanna just send a text and get laid. not hit the club every weekend :D

[–]poochman4 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I used to have this problem as well and 2 things that helped me convert more ONS to plates I believe:

1) Don't be needy after the 1st fuck. I would often think I could hit them up soon after the initial fuck for a 2nd date. I was wrong. Don't do that. Let her chase and come back to you at her own speed, essentially soft nexting her. Be abundant and focus on other girls while letting her hamster spin. If she hasn't contacted you in 7-10 days then you can hit her up for a 2nd date/meet up. Depending on the girl, pre-arranged dates may be too serious. It may need to be something spur of the moment where you are out with friends and she joins. Often the 2nd meet up is me sending a 11pm Saturday night text, "Hey what u doing".

2) Give her amazing mind blowing sex. Consider it a try out. I've even heard girls say themselves that if the sex is bad the first night the guy "doesn't make the cut". You want to do everything in your power to make sure she cums. Give her 5 star customer service. If she's a quality girl that you definitely want to see again, eat her out and make her beg for your dick before you even fuck her. That alone has given me better results I think.

One note I'd also add from my experience is that Tinder/Online (while I was on it) girls were harder to plate then the girls I met in real life. It's one of the reasons I got off it. My guess is that they tend to be serial daters and are always fucking/dating several guys at once with a constant flow of new potentially high value guys to fuck. For me it was perfect for ONS, but not great for plates/FWB. That's just me though. Others may have different results.

[–]Zech4riah[S] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

Waiting too long seems to be working even less than contacting in 24-48 hours after sex.

Yes, I have succeeded to give incredible sex but still girls seem to be flaking. Actually the last girl who really came hard with long lasting after quakes, said that this was her first time that she came like that etc (well yes...just words). But anyway, she was one of the girls who were really eager to see again. Texted me first right next day. Couple days later we arranged a date for a next weekend (because she wanted to see me asap) - she flaked and then it all just faded away.

[–]poochman0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

One thing I'd ask is how drunk are these girls when you first fuck them?

[–]Zech4riah[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Pretty sober. A girl who has difficulties speaking, standing straight or looking straight is a huge turn off for me.

Actually a girl from 2 weeks ago was 100% sober and drove us to my place.

[–]poochman0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hmmm I'd say maybe you're messing up in text then. Leave them hanging for several hours or days even for your reply. As TRP preaches, you want to limit your texting to logistics mostly, never chit chat. Low level of words compared to hers. If you don't have time to meet her again yet then you shouldn't be texting her that much.

Once you are ready to meet her again, hit her up. It should be really spur of the moment like my example above. How old are the girls usually? If they are younger, you'll definitely want to be more spontaneous and open-ended with them ("Maybe we can meet up later tonight") and less pre-arranged with them, especially if you pulled them home from a bar which is a spontaneous way to begin with.

As far as flakes, it happens, but if they are still responsive to text wait a few days and try again.

[–]HappyMexican0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I dunno, I have heard that from women I slept with too a bit too often... "First time I came" business I think is kind of a lie half the time. Women will often fake orgasms if the sex is bad and then say it was great in order to save face. I personally don't trust what they say anymore. Gotta watch their actions.

I honestly believe the only way to know you did a good job is if they come back with in the week for more. Otherwise you may want to reassess your performances.

One thing I do now is always use a vibrator on them to get them warmed up/cum once. Haven't ran into one girl who doesn't like it. Pillow Talk to them while doing this too, really helps build comfort and gets them relaxed.

[–]Zech4riah[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I doubt It's about bad sex. Unless I have turned to a bad lover suddenly during the last 2-3 months when I've been getting this problem constantly.

[–]Asdfghjkugfvnki 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

This happens to me a lot. I think they just have short attention spans and with the abundance they have, there’s not reason for them to stick with one guy.

[–]HappyMexican0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

yeah OP's location could play a big part. Some where like Los Angles can be tough as there are so many high SMV men around.

[–]Weefilly1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Bar sluts want to bar slut. Get picked up Thursday - Saturday and leave it at that.

[–]DadOnDabs1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've had the same thing happen many times. There are any number of reasons. She likes new dick, your sex game sucks, she realized she didn't like you, etc. Who cares there are 3 billion more.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Do I use condom or not

Don't worry. The fuck buddy problem will be a memory of better times soon.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

All I can think off is that I'm giving too much player vibe or not building enough comfort.

You're right, but you also have to think about the kind of girl you're dealing with here. They don't go out and go home with random guys for one night stands because they want you to build enough comfort. They want to get taken to pound town.

[–]oldslut0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

you're not fucking them well enough

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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