~ archived since 2018 ~

Disrespect after flirting

November 8, 2018
2 upvotes

Small stupid question. I flirt with my boss a lot. Never over the line but it’s mutual. At this point it’s her coming to me looking for attention most of the time and she is sweet and submissive.

Today the team was much smaller, and there were really only 2 of us under her today. Me and another guy who is at the same place as me in terms of work ethic, experience and outside social SMV (he’s better looking somewhat) but honestly I’d consider us equals in SMV.

All day she was treating me like total shit and being really nice and respectful to him. It’s not the first time this has happened but that time she ‘jokingly’ revealed she was trying to make me jealous. This time it started before the other guy even arrived. Just really disrespectful talking and shouting, very out of place. I held amused frame the whole time and did my work at the appropriate time and not when she was being disrespectful and asking me to do it pointlessly in advance because she said so (our tasks have appropriately timed start and finish periods).

She was super friendly to the other dude when asking him shit and openly disrespectful to me in front of other people. Is this likely a shit test or is it just overt disrespect.

I am asking because I am trying to understand more about my game in general and whether my personality is too passive/tolerating of disrespectful communication. Most girls I flirt with/game and generally a lot of people I talk to ends in this dynamic, usually fairly quickly. Always with girls it leads to overt disrespect which I interpret as a shit test of my frame, but every time I ask for confirmation on here, I get the answer it’s not a shit test. I basically have a high tolerance for shit without getting offended and I think I indicate some sort of low status behaviour that makes everyone think they can attack me like this.

I am not asking whether flirting with my boss is a good idea so no need to remind me, that’s my decision to assess. She is changing department in a week regardless.

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Post Information
Title Disrespect after flirting
Author empatheticapathetic
Upvotes 2
Comments 2
Date November 8, 2018 6:24 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit /r/askTRP
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/disrespect-after-flirting.53810
https://theredarchive.com/post/53810
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/9vci2x/disrespect_after_flirting/
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