I've just finished reading the Plate Theory chapters on The Rational Male book and they end with the following sentence: "In a commited relationship, you simply cannot spin plates".

So men should drop off all their plates, but how about women? Do they still keep them spinning? As in keep the orbiters around and stuff? Or should they ditch them all as well?

I suppose if a woman keeps contact with her orbiters or plates that's a huge red flag.

Just to give one example, here's a situation that came up in my last LTR (second one I've had so far).

I'm 24 and she's 19. We started dating about 2 years ago and got into a LTR for 1 and a half year.

I broke up with her two weeks ago because she would constantly give out plenty of red flags in the sense that she would repeatedly seek out external male validation and attention other than myself on social media.

In the very beggining of the relationship, for instance, she even got back on Tinder after I refused an invitation to go out with her because I had some work to do and when I found out she did that I instantly thought about breaking up with her, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt since she justified her behavior in me not providing enough security for her. So I gave her a second chance because I probably had ONEitis. Thing is, the problem would just come back every now and then. I'd always discuss with her because of her attention seeking behavior in social media (like sensual pictures on Instagram and Twitter, ambiguos tweets, etc). And she would bring up how much I seemed so distant or whatever, that I should text her more often and all. I worked on that and I got to texting her more often, but I'd still find her behaving in dubious ways. Matter of fact, I never felt I could really trust her after all the shit she pulled up on me.

I'd always tell her I wanted to be with her. She would feel jealous of my past, even though I've never told her how many girls I've had in the past, but she sensed it somehow and felt very insecure even when I reassured her that she was the only one for me.

I held my frame pretty tight before we got into the relationship, but I ended up giving up to her frame in the hopes of making the relationship work and providing security for her.

Either way, despite all of this, she was always seeking attention and validation by exposing herself and keeping in contact with orbiters on social media.

So my question is: is this normal? How to avoid this situation? And finally: how do I provide the security a woman longs for? Or was my ex-gf just a broken, anxiety-filled, slutty and insecure young girl?