Long story short:

-Dating for 8 months

-Not sexually attracted anymore

-I haven’t had sex in 1 month plus because we only fuck when I initiate

-I don’t feel a connection anymore

But there’s just something inside of me that won’t let go. She broke up with me once before and she immediately regretted doing so and came running straight back to me. Perhaps I should’ve just ended it there. I also took her virginity by the way making me the only guys she’s fucked therefore I’m seen as the most ‘alpha’ guy she has been with. Thats why I know its got to be me who ends this relationship unless I completely lose my frame and she does it instead. I mean eventually she is going to want to try some new dick eventually so why not end it now, enjoy what lasted and move on.

We’re both spending time away from each other over the summer as we’ve finished our first year of uni and are living back home with our parents. She cooks good food, is hard working, is very submissive yet I don’t feel satisfied. She is head over heels for me which is the way you want it to be. I’ve met her family as well and they’re really lovely and what makes it even worse is the fact they ask about me all the time because they seem to really like me.

This makes me feel bad which probably makes me a ‘Mr nice guy’ person. Why should I feel bad for even having any of these thoughts? Really I should end it, I should be focusing only on myself which is what I’ve been doing since I’ve got back home. I’ve stopped smoking cigarets, weed and cut out friends weighing me down. I’ve started going on runs regularly and hitting the gym again to get into boxing.

Really I’m 23 soon and I don’t need to be tied down to anything other than self-improvement. I’m good looking, become more confident since my life style change has occurred anyway. Although writing my thoughts out in this post which has given me clarity, I need to reality check. I’ve found myself on tinder which says it all and I’m not proud of it, this is far out of reach from my character.