Ex-girl reached out almost 5 years later, out of the blue

April 21, 2019

Hello gentlemen,

An ex from almost 5 years ago reached out to me the other day.

Back story (Spring 2014): short (4-5 months, +2 months of teasing and buildup) hot and heavy relationship. I'd rate her as an HB8, let's call her Kay. Everything went too fast and started off very passionate, then a 180 overnight. She initiated most of the relationship, and couldn't resist getting her hands on me. I wasn't invested in TRP at the time and acted beta at times, especially by engaging in disagreements and other stupid shit. In retrospect, there are things I could have done differently but her calling it off worked out for me at the end of the day; it was getting toxic and (what I assume was) her BPD started showing.

Post-breakup (starting Fall 2014): Tried to salvage it for the first week (maybe less) post-breakup. Noticed she wanted to stay friends (or have some form of connection), but she was adamant about the intimacy being over. Quickly realized the error in my ways by maintaining communication, so I cut it off and went silent mode on her. Avoided any common friends and hitting up the same spots. Complete No Contact from my part for the last 5 years. She reached out 10 months later on my birthday randomly with some funny meme, without saying happy birthday. Odd, and I continued to ignore.

Shortly after, I picked up TRP, went back to the gym, pumped and dumped a lot, excelled in my career, started a side hustle, and got back in touch with my hobbies. Eventually found an LTR when I wasn't looking after vetting for a while. Internally I'm quite happy, and external things like my LTR simply add to it.

Present day (ish): In October 2018, Kay looks up my Instagram page (public, so no need to be a follower) and finds the one photo of my current LTR and I and likes it. It wasn't even my most recent photo, so she was obviously stalking. Didn't read much into what message she was trying to send by wanting me to see that she liked it.

Fast forward to a couple days ago, Kay sends me a screenshot of my Twitter page. I haven't used this page since around the breakup (4-5 years ago). It shows that I have blocked her. Again, this was from THAT time and I didn't even remember that I had blocked her on my other channels. She wrote the following under the screenshot "maybe it's time I apologize for whatever HAS you this upset with me. I hope you're doing well".

My first reaction is continue to ignore, which is what I've done. I realize she is hoping I'd accept her apology, be friends, so she can rewrite history with her emotions and feel better about her behaviour after the breakup. I know guilt eats away at women.

Here's the thing: I'm happy with my LTR and presently have no interest to pursue anything outside of it. However I am not opposed to the idea of lining up backups and candidates for the off chance things don't workout in my LTR (could be weeks, months, years from now, or never). How would I go about having my own set of orbiters, and is there any way to create one in this situation? Is it worth it? If so, how would I respond?

Thanks guys

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Post Information
Title Ex-girl reached out almost 5 years later, out of the blue
Author AtlasCuckd
Upvotes 12
Comments 24
Date April 21, 2019 12:20 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit /r/askTRP
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/ex-girl-reached-out-almost-5-years-later-out-of.235600
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/bfo8zu/exgirl_reached_out_almost_5_years_later_out_of/
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