Left my LTR who had definite BPD symptoms. Controlling, gaslighted, name-calling, bezerk mode in fights then able to flip a switch and love bomb into believing it was just an episode.

She decided to move across the country and wanted me to move with her and finally thought that was the time to call my play and leave. Ever since then since, she's been texting me the sweetest things, telling me her personality traits were due to the city and circumstances and not who she was, and blah blah.

I know it's bs, but for some reason moving on isn't as easy as saying "whew, dodged a bullet there. It's more considering if things could have been different." I get it, definitely oneitis, I just don't understand why my brain forgets all the bad and instead makes me feel like I messed up instead of respecting myself.