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Female Anger and Frame - howto damage control after fucking it up ?

November 8, 2019
1 upvotes

Context:

I have got a 6 months LTR prospect, we both met dancing (salsa and bachata). I know the dancing scene is a slut fest but this girl is new to it and (hopefully) not damaged yet.

If I've something else to do, and she goes dancing without me, afterward she shit-tests me, telling me about all the guys that tried to pick her up that night.

Last time, just before we were about to fuck, she brought up a guy pulling a very inappropriate sensual bachata move. I wasn't really bothered by that, as long as she rejects dancing again with guys that pull those sorts of moves, but in reply, I jokingly slut-shamed her without importance.

Such a newbie mistake, afterward I was given a cold shoulder, she didn't look at me in the eyes and I was offered a dish of starfish sex.

I could feel a train-wreck of my frame. What I did was:

  • Apologizing for it.
  • Telling her that I didn't believe she was a slut. That I knew the scene and that shit means nothing.
  • Tell her how much I hated her avoiding eye contact.
  • Rejected the dull sex.
  • Remembered her that she was dating an idiot.

Afterwards she texted me that _I left her in a disrupted state_, to which I replied with the google search for what to say when you don't know what to say. I don't know if that helped me recover frame or if her rage fit passed, but shit sort of normalized after a couple of hours.

__________________________________________________________________________________________

I realized that I don't really know how to handle female anger directed at me for involuntary mistakes. Don't know if I need to confront it, try to rationalize and justify, beg pardon, ignore or disengage and run away.

What's your take on it?

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Post Information
Title Female Anger and Frame - howto damage control after fucking it up ?
Author woyspawn
Upvotes 1
Comments 10
Date November 8, 2019 3:46 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit /r/askTRP
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/female-anger-and-frame-howto-damage-control-after.294468
https://theredarchive.com/post/294468
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/dth76q/female_anger_and_frame_howto_damage_control_after/
Red Pill terms in post
Comments

[–]hiem3w 5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yeah so I don’t think slut shaming her was where you fucked up but rather where you tried apologizing and fixing her feelings afterwards.

You’re a free guy, you should be able to say whatever’s on your mind worrying about offending some girl. If she doesn’t like what you’re saying you have other options.

As for fixing it, my games not great but I’d just ignore her and work on finding other options. You kinda broke frame so she’s picked up on that and is either unattracted or keeping you around for what you can provide to her. Maybe she’ll hit you up and wonder why you haven’t given her any more attention and you can play with that. Wouldn’t count on it though.

[–]woyspawn[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Isn't that a sort of dramatic view? Loose frame once, loose respect from the gal forever?

[–]hiem3w 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Kinda, none of TRP is set in stone it’s just a rule book.

And the rule book says that women have lots more options and always look to get someone above them. That means there’s the possibility that she has someone else on her list of studs that hasn’t broken frame and that automatically puts him above you on her list of options. (In theory, she may not have a better option than you but this doesn’t guarantee that she won’t find one)

I’m pretty sure it’s a bit of a subconscious psychological thing. She may not care about exactly what you said or did, but the feelings she felt through the experience with you will be in her memory. So whenever she interacts with you her decisions will revolve around the traits that you showed to her. (Ie “I associate him as betaish based on the emotions I felt when he broke frame that 1 time x amount of years ago”)

Again, this is just an AWALT kinda general rule of thumb. She might still be really interested and you still may have a high chance of getting what you want. But from the knowledge on the sub you are better off focusing your energy elsewhere (for the time being at least). Keep her around to fuck if you want, not LTR material though.

[–]smitty113 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

If you fucked up and you honestly feel like you did, you can apologize. You apologize one time and make sure its sincere.

This isnt you fucking up big time, you tried to make a joke and it didn't land. What you do is break her frame, if shes pissed and you can get her to laugh do that. You can treat her like a little child as well. Anything to unbalance her, its verbal martial arts.

Emotion is emotion, happy, sad, angry, horny are all the same thing. You can slide between these states.

[–]woyspawn[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Awesome, nevere thought about the breaking frame stuff.

Thanks

[–]FemtoG 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

  1. Jokingly slut shamed

Not a mistake. You were innocently making a light joke without a care. These things happen.

  1. Apologize and stuff

Huge mistake. Should've treated her like the three year old she was acting like.

So stop worrying about #1 and never repeat #2. Trust your own instinct in what you did right or wrong.

[–]woyspawn[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Should've treated her like the three year old she was acting like.

What would that look like. Should I seem bothered by her behavior? Aloof? ignore it?

[–]FemtoG 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

aloof

[–]Plasticannihilation 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

Dude, why are you fucking this chick if you are married?

Alternatively, why are you fucking her or paying attention to her at all when no one in her country will put a dick near her?

[–]woyspawn[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm not married.

I like her.

What did you read to understand that from my post? Is it that horribly redacted?

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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