Female Psychologist want husband to become Beta

July 10, 2019

Wife went to Female psychologist/sexologist, she told the psychologist I was being dominant and still hold traditional roles at home (I do). Psychologist told her I am the reason why she has issues, and I am has-been. I am supposed to treat her very kindly whatever she does (it's only natural), sex is not her duty, she can only give it if she feels like it. Even If i pay more I should help in the kitchen and do everything like her, and she won't even has to thank me for that.

When I heard that from my wife, I said : "What about your issues (the reasons she went to psychologist in the first place) ? did she give you any advice on it?" she said : "She just told me everything is your fault, you should treat me better."

I mildly surprised by this, because I believe that WHATEVER happens in the couple it's the man's fault anyways. and while I don't really need to answer this. I think I need to have a talk with the wife one day or another. How to address this in a smarter way than : "my way or highway" ?

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Post Information
Title Female Psychologist want husband to become Beta
Author ITlover
Upvotes 212
Comments 125
Date July 10, 2019 9:30 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/askTRP
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/female-psychologist-want-husband-to-become-beta.245117
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/cbmrfp/female_psychologist_want_husband_to_become_beta/
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[–]Jugurthajones87164 points165 points  (26 children) | Copy Link

Her shrink might not even have said it was all your fault. It might just be your wife’s spin on it

[–]beginner_40 points41 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Shit, yeah I'm naive. Maybe she didn't even go and just made that all up to get her will.

[–]ITlover[S] 34 points35 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

may be the case, but what would she gain saying that? I once told her : why do some women try to emasculate men? if a woman isn't obediant toward her husband, their kids won't have a chance being sane. Sons will be spinless feminists and daughters will not value a real man.

[–]darklogic42075 points76 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

" what would she gain saying that?"

This part is obvious: if you receive all the blame, then she doesn't have to put in any effort for her problems.

You may consider confronting your wife's therapist in a couple's session to determine if either A. the therapist is worth your time and money or B. if your wife is lying to you about what happened in her session. If B, consider your options carefully.

[–]DrZaiusPCMR14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

What would she gain? The shrink doesn't give a damn about you or your wife. She just wants to get paid. Shifting all blame on you is the easy way to "do" her job and get that sweet cash.

And it's a woman. Would you even trust her with your own issues? LOL

[–]Jugurthajones872 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I’ve been to shrinks. They don’t talk like that, putting all the blame on one spouse. That’s destructive of any relationship. So it’s either your wife’s spin on what her shrink said or your spin on what your wife said.

And women don’t set out to emasculate their men. They only start down that road after finding themselves disappointed by their men.

[–]ITlover[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Agreed,she's disapointed that I am not rich (I make decent money but I have plans), She may taught thay because I have some cash I am going to spend them on her stuff. I am neither that romantic of a guy, I often tell her : no efforts to please me means I won't see why i ll be any romantic. I think she is trying to convince herself thay grass is greener across the street, she doesn't understand she has issues and I am freezing all plans regarding her, untill she handles her shit or decides to go away on her own.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

You sound like a childish asshole, I hope she leaves you on her own accord

[–]ITlover[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

then, what makes me a childish asshole? I have spend good money on her already, without getting anything from her. I am not buying sex from her.

[–]dukes19984 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

if a woman isn't obediant toward her husband, their kids won't have a chance being sane. Sons will be spinless feminists and daughters will not value a real man.

Obviously you have some issues as well if you think a woman should be “obedient”. Being an obedient pushover and fulfilling her gender roles (regardless of whether or not you believe in them) are two different things, and I think you should treat your wife as separate but equal instead of subservient

[–]Pussyshack 1 points [recovered]  (5 children) | Copy Link

separate but equal

And you people wonder why you're in this mess.....

[–]dukes1998-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

TRP does not and has not advocated to treat women like inferiors. Common sense would say the same thing.

[–]Pussyshack 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy Link

Women ARE inferior to men.

No matter what your feminist single mother taught you.

[–]dukes19980 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

You’re an angry idiot and it’s really not surprising you have problems with women

[–]Pussyshack 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'll tell your wife/gf that when she gives me fuck me eyes & gives me the green light to approach.

[–]dukes19981 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I bet she will after all everyone knows chicks dig internet tough guys who brag about how much they pull on reddit

[–]LingonberryPancakess-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lmao you sound like a fucking idiot

[–]User-31f64a4e4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Probably not.
The profession of psychology is rotten to the core.
They have defined masculinity as harmful, and the profession is overwhelmingly comprised of females.

Back in the 1980s, psychologists were instrumental in helping "victims" to "recover memories" of parental abuse that never happened - causing suicides, destroying families, etc.

Psychology as practiced is a pseudo-science. That is not to say it could never be approached scientifically - only that today, it is approached ideologically.

[–]DrZaiusPCMR5 points6 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

I actually believe that's what the female shrink told her.

Psychology is pseudo-science, at best. Not much better than astrology. And it's a female shrink so you know even at work she'll put emotions and female herd behavior before logic and reasoning.

Cut that shrink off.

[–]growingstronk3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I mean I would agree if all you know about modern psychology is of the Freudian kind, but you can look up the effectiveness of treatments such as cognitive behavioral therapy and their effectiveness in treating drug addiction for example

Other treatments like ABA is also great for people with autism

Psychology is like chiropractors or massage therapists, it’s all bullshit until you get a really good one.

I live in nyc and considered to be a psychiatrist at some point when I go off to medical school, so I know places like the Karen Horney institute are doing really good work.

[–]User-31f64a4e1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Psychology is like chiropractors or massage therapists, it’s all bullshit until you get a really good one.


Like those, it is a mixed bag: mostly rubbish, with a few valuable techniques which only a few practitioners employ.

Like chiropracty, the theory component of psychology is burdened with a lot of nonsense.

[–]dontgiveupcarib2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

A lot of psychology is bullshit.

[–]dukes19982 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You’re retarded if you think psychology is a pseduo science

[–]User-31f64a4e-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

No, one is retarded if one fails to consider the replication crisis in psychological "research".

[–]pachmelstop-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Emotional reasoning at it's best.

[–]Abracadabrante-5 points-4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's just plain stupid, man.

[–]WIA20XX189 points190 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Married red pill sub.

Cause I know what I would do as a single/not legally bound by contract man.

[–]superjerk99104 points105 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You apologize a ton of times and let your wife have sex with your neighbor after you buy her a new car.

Jesus fuck that was sarcasm but got dam that was even hard to type out.

Edit: in all seriousness OP you should have that talk with your lady just explain that a marriage counselor is supposed to hear out both sides of the argument and you feel like you're not being heard. LTRs are tough, you can't be 100% RP all the time. That shit just doesn't work. Might not be a popular opinion here but that doesn't make it not true

[–]throwaway294964398 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

They need gottman or whatever it is couples counselling so she's not getting validated in isolation cuz eventually she'll get so stuck up it'll ruin everything.

[–]_Icarus_Reborn_2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

OP is asking a question, it still goes here as far as I'm aware.

[–]0io-108 points109 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

Read entire sidebar on Married red pill sub.

Basically you have to make yourself attractive so that women (in general) want to have sex with you. This means you need to be lifting heavy weight regularly and not carrying any excess body fat (ripped, shredded, jacked.) You also need to be flirting with other women so that you have many women who want to have sex with you. This means that you have to be fun to be around and have interesting hobbies.

Your wife, being female, will want to have sex with you just like every other woman at that point. Or, if she still doesn't, you need to realize that she's not worthy of being your wife and go find someone else.

You're too young and your marriage is too new to put up with this dead bedroom nonsense.

First make yourself attractive (top physical shape.) If that doesn't fix the wife's sex drive then she has no business being your wife and you must replace her.

Don't pay for her to visit a psychologist. You're wasting your money.

Right now you don't have a wife you have a bad female roommate who doesn't give you blowjobs. This relationship has no value whatsoever.

Fix yourself first, if that doesn't work, you must replace the wife.

[–]ITlover[S] 46 points47 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

Agreed. Ironically, she latelly initiate bjs (with condoms), hjs too. But she still has vaginismus issues (this why she goes to a psychologist/sexologist). She goes from obediant wife, to teenager in a 10 days interval, and each 10 days I have to have to do the talk. It's exausting, the reason is always about a female colleague/friend/relative, having a new ring/gift her boyfriend/husband sent her, or the destination they went too last weekend. She wants the same, I refuse, I don't care about other people, I won't be a beta-bucks just because a beta ruins his savings to pay his girlfriend new shoes. I have financial plans, i stick with them. Vacations are planed and they will happen when they will happen, they're to relax not to show off. The other scenario, is why i don't look act like those romantic guys on TV Dramas. Those are actors, most of them cheat on their wives, have drug issues or just don't have healthy relationships, does she see that? nope...Wonderland...and TV can't lie to her...

[–]failingtheturingtest27 points28 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Get to married Red pill in a hurry.

"every 10 days I need to do the talk" fuck no! Every 10 days you become less available to her and are out enjoying activities that don't include a nagging wife.

Why is she treating you this way? Because it works!

[–]Ahhshit960 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

So is this whole sub trolling or just god awful male advice?

[–]MandingoMaasai25 points26 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Not a married guy but I believe most of the issues in relationships are down to male leadership. That said, it sounds like your frame is solid. However, you need to be so desirable, your wife not only wants to bang you frequently but also feels blessed to have you. The only way to achieve this is by lifting. No excuses. It doesn't matter what you think about getting muscular, don't knock it till you try it. As for the shrink, find her a male shrink or someone who actually knows what they are doing and isn't spouting feminist garbage.

[–]sniper19050 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

most of the issues in relationships are down to male leadership

Can you explain this a little more? This is like wearing pants in the relationship, having the final say (although listening to her opinion and her input).

Or is it like guiding her in life? Something like that? Could you also provide some examples Mr. Mandingo.

[–]MandingoMaasai1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hello sir. What I mean by male leadership is that from the onset, you set the perimeter of what a relationship means to you. You teach her how to express her dissent, guide her on what you expect and reward her for good behaviour. When she is unhappy about something and starts raising her voice or acting up, do not correct her; go silent and start working on other projects. Soft next her until she learns that only silence will greet such behaviour. When you start hitting on a lass, teach her that if you have agreed to meet at 7 pm, not 7:30 pm. There will be consequences if she fucks up for instance, you will leave. The key this is having abundance (plenty of options). When she does something like spontaneously make you breakfast after a night out, tell her that the breakfast was good and kiss her forehead. In essence, reward job done and not her so she knows that to earn your approval, she should do and not simply be.

[–]kode20[🍰] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not an expert at all but from what ive learned, if you are already really attractive and have good frame then the only thing that might be missing is you appealing to her emotional side, meaning women fall jn love with how you make them feel, maybe some romanticism bs gestures that you are not too strongly against could help. But yeah frame and smv come first.

[–]tom-anonymous6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It doesn't matter if you don't want to look like those romantic guys. Ever since I started lifting women who are twenty years younger than me are giving me vertical scans from my face, shoulders down to my package and back.

When you are strong and built, women notice and they want to have sex with you. If other women look at you and can imagine having sex with you, then so will your wife.

Imagine your wife saying she didn't want to look like those good looking people on TV, and instead just wanted to sit on the couch and get fat eating bom-boms and ice-cream. Would you want to have sex with her? It goes both ways...

[–]Velebit1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

You seem to have some clear insight... maybe it is your delivery. Maybe you sound strong here but weak in person. Maybe you are very robotic and she genuinely feels uncared for and you have to compliment and give her some signs of love that are not just mathematical calculations of what you MUST to keep her.

Her having a vaginitis or being too stressed to have sex is a clear sign that something is very wrong, her trying to adjust by giving oral and hj is a sign she wants that marriage to work. I suggest instead of putting more pressure on her like other guys said. You have a genuine and emotionally open conversation. What was her childhood like? What is her general view of men? What is her view of how someone gets happy in life? What are her values?

Yes a man is a leader etc but you still have to achieve following not just manuever yourself into being the top dog. My own dad used all kinds od scummy moves to stay top dog to everyone. It never worked. He always tries to both appear friendly and never be exposed to vulnerabilities. People always saw through that and never liked him. Nobody likes people who are just trying to mathematically get ahead. Life, to have purpose has to be filled with irrational passion, irrational loyalty and other things... if someone is just a robot going throgh the motions people will feel bad around them. Why can't she be calm enough to have sex?

[–]ITlover[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

well as far as I am concerned, the issue is about her fears of sex itself...she deteced that when she went to a gynecologist before our wedding. when she saw my penis she was scared, and cried, and we couldn't have sex. I am not THAT huge but still, she had issues with me and with her self, when I needed a woman she acted like a little girl, irresponsible. And when I act pleasant she tries to emasculate me or insult me or defy the rules I have set. That's when we have fights, I won't allow direspect inside my walls. and I can't act extra-romantique or extra-caring and loving to a girl who is not ready to please me sexually...That's not how it works.

[–]Velebit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

She definatelly needs psychotherapy from what you have written, maybe even a sex therapist instead. I can detect you are not a very knowledgable guys when it comes to intuitivelly getting how these silly women work. The patience has to be endless and you have to be an unending well of understanding and shower her with inquisitive questions about her inside emotional workings.

Talking to virgins like that is frequently very very annoying and quite against male intuitions. Maybe watching Stefan Molyneux or talking to him might be useful to you. I can definatelly understand why there is a problem and it is mostly on her side. You can have contempt for her unable to be a woman or you can underatand she probably hates men deep down because she was usually treated badly by them. The upside is that these girls are naive and somewhat innocent and if you win her fully you will also have something most men don't have with their women. You will be the only guy who ever worked out for her. That is special. But you will have to somewhat be ready to not be so proud.

She is incredibly afraid of the masculine principles present in life because she does not understand them and has no sympathy for them because of the bad early experiences with men.

You have to remove her from people who make impression that women must be showered with material stuff. If she is religious use religion to show those women for tramps that they are but that will take quite a lot of time so patience is key again, patience and talking about her friends and getting to know what she already dislikes about her friends and then building on that to show those women as superficial and bad.

Make sure she knows you are so strong you will give her however time she needs to get sexual and that you care not only sex itself but also for her enjoying being very intimate with you. Cuddling, hugging touching each other is necessary. Once you two have sense of closeness to touch, your penis will just be another part of her favorite person and not something scary because how could any part of you scare her. Being scared comed from the unknowned and so you must be familiar to her.

[–]Twenty_league_boots1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wait, what? You use condoms for blow jobs? With your wife??? Wtf

[–]NeuroBoss315 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Damn so much wisdom in this post

[–]_Last_Man_Standing_24 points25 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I read an awesome article on this topic not to long ago.
Took me few minutes to find a link but here it is: When did Psychology start adopting a negative view of masculinity?

fuck 'em

[–]temerity181 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Very revealing. Thanks

[–]Yoshiiiiiiiiii1011 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I’ll give you advice because I’ve been to therapy for a year. Therapists do not tell people what to do at all. Literally they’re not supposed to give any sort of actionable say in the behavior of anyone they’re counseling. Your wife is lying/adjusting what her therapist explained as behavior and is turning it into actionable items. Female friend I’ve known for years can confirm. Therapists don’t give actionable advice. Only break things down for us to digest.

[–]academicRedditor3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is how it is supposed to be, indeed! You seem to have no idea, however, of how much the radical-feminist agenda has change (damaged) psychology programs in the US. Things have changed

[–]006rbc9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The moment that you are not dominant she will resent you for it. Sounds like like she went to see a feminist instead of a psychologist.

[–]razenha8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

She is going to divorce you sooner or later. She got into her mind that you are the source of all her troubles, there is no way your relationship survives it. I would go and hire the best divorce lawyer I could afford and check my options.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy Link


[–]Endorsed Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The latest version of the Diagnostic And Statistic Manual of Mental Disorders aka the Bible for psychologists says that traditional masculintity is pathological and that their is nothing abnormal about transvestites (who by the way have a very high rate of suicide).

So no your psychologist isn't doing anything wrong. She is following their doctrine to the letter.

See for yourself.

Go into the office and ask her, her professional opinion on trannies. Then laugh your way out the door and never speak to that confirmist bugman ever again.

[–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Ask her why she trusts a random woman, who is taking her money, vs her loved and cherished husband?

Listen very carefully: a perfectly happy and submissive trad-wife wouldn't even entertain that shit.

Let's go underneath the surface here. Your wife probably brought this up with her therapist, who seized on it and vomited feminism upon your wife. Your wife liked it because on some level, you are doing something wrong. Giving bad leadership.

I'm guessing, something is up in your dynamic with your wife. You can't just iron fist dominate her, she has to want it. How's your sex life? Are you lifting, good social skills, not getting negligent in your SMV-boosting behaviors? If you're not, trying cleaning that stuff up, and see how much more willing she is, to accept your leadership.

[–]sniper19050 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Ask her why she trusts a random woman, who is taking her money, vs her loved and cherished husband?

Isn't this manipulating in a way? Trying to persuade her to put you out of the bad spotlight and trying to get her ditching her current therapist?

Well TRP can be pretty manipulative.. correct?

[–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Isn't the therapist being manipulative?

[–]sniper19050 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Possibly, or it could be his woman instead who is manipulating the story to make her feel as if she's the victim.

Checkmate atheists.

[–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah that's why I was asking OP some questions. With the info given, it's virtually impossible to diagnose wtf happened.

[–]shubhidoobi4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Female psychologist is a no go, they have their own problems to help others. Change to a old man.

[–]Brushyourteethm89 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Hmmm the last paragraph hints at some nice guy tendencies on your part - all problems are not the man's fault but if you plan on staying with her then they are your responsibility.

To quote Nick Helm "I'm not here to pull your good time out of my arse"

Sounds like standard female friend advice that should have no place coming from a trained professional but unfortunately this is not in your control.

DO NOT TRY TO HAMSTER IT - it is her opinion, you must trust your gut.

If she isn't getting help for whatever issues she has and this psychologist isn't helping then this needs addressing.

Remember, you are the prize.

[–]ITlover[S] 7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I agree, the last paragraph seems "nice guy"-ish. It's more about image, whatever happens in a couple, the guy looks bad, if he is dominant, he's a jerk, if he's not : he's not man enough. I don't mind looking like a jerk outside the couple, if the woman is respectful towards me, and knows her place.

I am the prize, she know's it, but her Female friends / psychologist / relatives (married to unsavable betas), show her how they live well having their husband credit card in their pocket or how a man's duty to provide. The idea of having a beta-bucks husband is chaming, but neither they live happy with those men, nor does these men look like men anymore.

[–]Brushyourteethm86 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I can understand where you're coming from as I see this in couples around me - the couples equivalent of "keeping up with the Jones".

I ask to provoke thought so try to be honest with yourself:

Do you feel the need to compromise your beliefs, behaviour and outlook to gain approval of others?

What is more important to you - being true to your convictions or gaining the approval of those around you?

When this topic came up, I have straight up told my wife that I will not go out to work to provide a cushy leisure lifestyle for her. She understands that I expect her to pull her weight and I couldn't care less what others are doing around me - she is fully on board with this.

In your last paragraph you mention duty. Again, this rings of nice guy conditioning. Definitely reread NMMNG and work through the process.

Also, I really couldn't care less how I look outside the relationship - I am on this planet once and so life is too short to pander to the fickle opinions of others. This comes easy because my self esteem and sense of deserving are very high.

My wife knows that I do not need her - I have told her that I would be great on my own. But I choose to be with her as long as she enhances my life which she loves. Women don't want to be needed by a man but to be chosen by him and so desired as a luxury that he enjoys. This means that she doesn't need to be a second mother to him and she is free to fully express herself as his lover. Often unknown to women they crave to submerge themselves into man's frame - like slipping into a hot bath and allowing herself to be her most feminine

[–]Pooddit1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

What are you worried about. These are her worries because she has no frame. Continue being a man. Seek power through hard work and competence building, lift weights, compete, work on your career, bring order to chaos. The woman will follow the man's path as he continues his mission of purpose.

[–]HurricaneHugues3 points4 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

Do you have kids with this chick? How old are u two? How long have you been married? Why did you marry her?

Forget what that therapist says. However she isbright that you are not owed sex. That we call all agree on. Sex is based on desire. If you're not desirable to her, she won't want to fuck you. Do you even workout or have a great an sexy body?

[–]ITlover[S] 4 points5 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

No kids, Married for 1 year, married her because she was fun and showed the signs of an obediant wife. Sex is based on desire yes, I make her come quite fast, she has issues causing her vaginismus (not related to me). She keeps kissing, hugging, initiating bjs (with condom) and hjs. She sees me as an attractive partner (as she says).

[–]redpilllogin6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

BJ's with condoms? That's disrespectful as fuck.

[–]still_unresolved-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Buts its healthy. Bjs are dangerous

[–]0io-2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

If you're not having sex with other women, find a doctor to give you an STD test so you can show your wife you have a clean bill of health and there's no reason for her to be using condoms to give you a BJ. What's she protecting by using the condom?

[–]still_unresolved-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Bjs are dangerous !

[–]0io-0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Maybe so, but the high heels and bunny ears should offer her all the protection she needs!

[–]still_unresolved-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

For men its dangerous ! May cause prostatitis

[–]0io-0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

That's a risk I am willing to take.

[–]still_unresolved0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Personally i hate blowjobs and prefer to drill pussy

[–]umizumiz2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link


[–]beginner_4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Standard. If women goes to female psych, it's always the mans fault. That is why you never do couples therapy. In this day and age it's always the mans fault.

[–]perplexedm3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Husbands who do more traditionally female housework have less sex


Doing household chores may mean less sex for married men


btw, nothing is going to help if psychological problems are there, the medicines used itself will play havoc in your relationship. So, have a long term plan b from now.

[–]mortalcoil115 points16 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

Guys, it's a troll account. Read the grammar. Look at his post history. It seems like I'm having to say this once a week nowadays. If a post sounds a little crazy just hover over the name. If the post history is something ridiculous like -3 comment karma on a 4 year old account, red flags should be going off.

WTF kind of psychologist tells a wife her husband is a has-been?

[–]Project_Zero_Betas11 points12 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

initiating bjs (with condom) and hjs.

Definite troll.

[–]mortalcoil14 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

What, are you saying that you think he's a troll because he is saying the woman he has been married to for a year has never had sex with him and only gives him a blowjob with a condom?

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link


[–]Slut_Slayer90001 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Imagine being married and having to get blowjobs while wearing a condom. That actually sounds like hell to me.

[–]ITlover[S] 3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

English is not my main language (obviously)

[–]mortalcoil16 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

WTF kind of psychologist tells a wife her husband is a has-been? What does that even mean?

[–]BurnieSlander7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

A psychologist doesn’t say that- but a crazy wife will tell her husband that the psychologist said that as a massive shit test. Actually this might even cross the line between shit testing and straight up lying.

OP your wife sounds like she’s 19 with chronic FOMO and entitlement issues. Time to start on the 12 levels of dread.

[–]mortalcoil11 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

He's apparently been married to his wife for about a year and has never and sex and only has blow jobs with condoms.

I call bullshit.

If you believe his story, he is 28 or 29, and she is 25 or 26.

[–]ITlover[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I am as surprised as you are man.

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Get out of here and go to /r/askMRP

You'll get better advice there. It's redpill specifically for your situation.

[–]Naebany2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You need to fuck the therapist to establish dominance.

[–]olinvomibo1232 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I found this really disturbing, that even that psychologist gave into these tendencies, on cost of her profession. AWALT

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I would divorce her ASAP.

[–]evenfurtherbeyond5116 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I feel like she doesn’t realize that she could lose you. Women have a tendency to always want more. If you treat her too well she’ll start acting like a bitch.

Maybe you could remind her that you have other options if she doesn’t start having sex with you.

You are doing her a favour by wanting to have an exclusive sexual relationship with her, not the other way around.

[–]el_Technico3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Women always have more options.

She needs to see that other attractive women are attracted to op. Bringing this issue up will only come off as complaining which is a beta trait.

Hit the gym op. Hopefully that will fix things, and if not you'll be in a better position for finding a replacement wife.

[–]LSDparade1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I think it's important to confront some real issues within yourself first before you make the judgement that none of the issues in your relationship are your "fault". Maybe outside the redpill dynamic in the relationship, there are some things that you need to work on that are negatively impacting your relationship.

You obviously feel that you maintain a healthy dynamic in the relationship, which you probably don't need to change, but not everything is about is about "my way or highway". Perhaps you can help her help you?

[–]ITlover[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I wish I could. I mean this is exactly why i am trying not to be that strict on my response. I am trying to be more efficient by talking her out of the wonderland she thinks she lives in. Women go redpill too, but I think they learn the hard way (unless they had strong/alpha father figures, whish is rarely the case, thanks to babyboomers). And usually the "hard way" in a married couple context is pretty damaging for both partners...

[–]ITlover[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I am no angel myself, but somethings are not on the table to negotiate, sex must happen in all cases.

[–]dani0981 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link


lol me more reason for me to stay single. I need to start documenting all this shit.

[–]3chazthundergut1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link


[–]128bitworm1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Whether she got it from her shrink or from her head, she is trying to guilt you into doing what she wants you to do. If you fall for it, you deserve everything coming at you. Logically, dump her if that is an available option. Otherwise, you can look forward to a life of subservience. The choice, as always, is yours.

[–]still_unresolved1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Female psychologists are feminists so no wonder

[–]Ryabemo1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Here’s the thing about women and something it seems the red pill has lost sight on: you’re dealing with a kid in an adults body. Kids don’t like to admit they’re wrong too, just like the don’t like responsibility. So she’s obviously going to put the blame on you.

Another thing is that women are change junkies. They love change and rearranging furniture and rules even if it isn’t functional, they just feel thrilled that a change has happened and if it’s non functional we men have to fix it. Now it sounds like your wife is doing this to you. If you want to hear what we most red pillars think, we don’t encourage marriage because of shit like this.

My advice to you is be who you are. Do what you like to do and don’t do what you don’t want to do. If you’re changing to save a marriage, that marriage won’t last and it’s not worth saving.

[–]blimp111 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Doesn’t sound like advice any trained psychologist would give. The essential thing they teach is to control the things you can control and not try to control others. Establish boundaries, but they don’t tell you things are other people’s fault. Sounds like BS

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

she can only give it if she feels like it.

Um yeah... Not sure what you're expecting us to say here, or why you even mentioned it. Following anything except this would be considered rape.

[–]DeputyDomeshot1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Therapists can be similar to sales people. They often tell you what you want to hear so you come back and retain their services. They are hustlers like any kind of business. A good test for a therapist: Explain a situation where you clearly in the wrong. Ask her how she views what you did. If she makes no effort to correct your behavior and helps you to further rationalize it, drop her as she is not looking out for your best interests, she is looking out for her own monetary interests.

[–]Oh_FuFu3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

In all seriousness... get a second wife. Your first one will compete and get her act right.

[–]ITlover[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

sweet sweet polygamy...oh wait western societies don't allow that !

[–]Oh_FuFu1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I was joking but there can be some truth in all jokes. I saw your post history and thought it might fit in with the desi narrative/stereotype.

I wish you all the success

[–]drsherbert1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Do you expect a female psychologist to say anything different? Most of the male psychologists are no better.

[–]redpilllogin0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lol your wife is probably making this up so you treat her better, which if she feels that way then it wouldn't hurt to address it.

[–]Nergaal0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

What actual issues did she go in for in the first place?

[–]bigkahuna3330 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think OP needs to clarify what qualifications the lady has, as there is a huge difference between a sexologist and a psychologist. If this is the first session that's a huge statement to make after 1 hour of analysis either way.

[–]uptimex0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh, subjective therapist is a demon from the underground inferno. Be carefull with that creature.

I'd personally solve it another way, if you want to solve it anyway. Allocate a month or two of mastering of giving her sexual pleasure but not only. Connect all your activities together with sexual pleasure for her. I do it sometimes with girls I spend some time with. You know Pavlovs reflexes theory right. So the goal is, you snap fingers, and she is sexually aroused and already have pleasure of being with you. Sorry we are talking about your wife, not a therapist, but it will solve problems of you both and be pleasant for both of you.

[–]Geleemann0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fuck her off

[–]nicyhasreddit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

As much as she hates you now, she will despise you even more if you don't start manning up.

[–]FollowerTRP0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Never been married but I would just ignore it completely.

If she would cause drama because of that or repeat that 2 more times max, I would just remove the cause of her issues - me.

And never look back.

It is hilarious reading this from my perspective.

[–]whatwouldphilipdo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

When people see a psychologist or therapist and they say to me "My therapist told me..." I'm always careful about believing them.

I'm sure your wife entirely believes that the psychologist told her these things - she's not making it up. However, a good therapist won't tell you what to think, rather they will allow you to untangle your thoughts and help you articulate them.

It's not important who "told" her these things. The fact is she believes them and talking through them in therapy emboldens her in her belief.

This isn't going to be one of those situations where you can get her to come round to your way of thinking by talking to her about it. There's a level of self-awareness that is lacking in her at the moment.

Could you get her to question the psychologist on what she believes she was told. A good psychologist should open up a channel of self-interrogation around why she believes what she believes. If she wants to be treated like a princess, there's nothing wrong with that, but it's useful and healthy if she at least owns it, instead of blaming other people.

[–]Bedtimeshine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Your surprised a therapist is worthless?

[–]justlibertarian0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Don’t do anything until you hear directly in couples counseling that you’re the problem, and tell your wife that’s what you’re gonna do

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Start preparing for your divorce. (And hope the preparations aren’t needed)

Watch what you say in writing Move you assets around as required to protect yourself, speak with a financial advisor if you need help

The chances are high that it’s going to get a lot harder before if it ever gets better

[–]maljo240 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Your wife is not happy with you.

[–]ITlover[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

yes and no. She always says she is good and she loves me. But I feel like she is quite satisfied by how things are. I am not, she can't understand this.

[–]Eminencemiddle0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

My way or get the fuck out, bitch!

Try that. Don't be a faggot.

[–]DeChef20 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Your title says the psych want you to become beta.

The only problem here is that you already are. Why are you taking her opinion seriously?

[–]TRPonlySubsBanTRPppl0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lol. That's what she paid the shrink for.

[–]dj10410 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

These things seem very unlike a psychologist. People in psych rarely TELL YOU anything. Most times they’re just asking probing questions based off of the things you’ve told them to help you make you’re own realizations. If everything you’re saying is the complete truth I believe that you’re wife is using her psychologist as scapegoat. Your wife probably actually thinks those things and likely told her psychologist these things in her sessions.

I did some psych rotations in uni, and this seems like a anti pattern for sure. The fact that her sessions only focus on you is a clear red flag. You’re wife is the patient, not you. Her psychologist should be helping her fix things she can control and not placing blame.

Do you want to make things work with your wife? If so you’ll probably need to understand that her going to a psychologist isn’t going to fix your marriage. Maybe consider couples therapy if you want to work things out.

[–]georeddit2018-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

What the fuck is this? You are married and shes giving Blowjobs and hjs with condom.

Pls explain why you are allowing this?

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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