Sup boys. I (28; SMV 9) have been w this girl (21; SMV 6) for 9 months now. Started as a plate, vetted for 6 months then made her LTR. No major red flags in those 6 months. Submissive, appreciative and has excellent support system (healthy, close family).

In the last month or 2, she's been starting fights with me over things like not saying ily to her much, not chasing her when we're in fights, standing my ground when she's crossed a boundary, etc. In her view, she feels like she has no power or that her voice isn't heard during fights. She also wanted me to get STD testing since the beginning, which I thought was silly since we've been active for a long time.

In these fights, I've always maintained a cool frame. Never once shouted at her, just withdrew attention if she was acting up. In almost every fight, she was the one who ended up apologizing.

Now, what I've done here is conscientiously finding the balance between AF/BB. But it's starting to seem like she doesn't appreciate what she's got. Everything will be great, and then she starts a fight. I'm thinking this is because she's been craving a level of comfort that I'm not giving. Maybe she's tired of all the dread. Maybe she knows I am losing attraction.

She's a great girl, and I believe there's more runway with her. If possible, I'd like to keep it going until Spring/Summer. But lately she's been a bit distant, and my feeling is she might nearly be checked out.

I am a guy she can depend on, I lead hard, I listen, I'm firm about my boundaries, I'm fun/light-hearted/maintain frame, I plan things for us to do, I am open-minded and positive, I've met her family several times now and leave solid impressions, she's expressed she loves me a lot and chases me hard most of the time. I'm always ready to walk if I encounter a major red flag, and she knows it. She knows I have options.

My question for you guys...is this salvageable? Am I balanced enough? Is there something I might be doing that's causing this behavior or is it her issue?