I focus way too much on my flaws and short comings and end up letting them completely define my life and mind.

I've been perpetually depressed for a long time now because I can't stop focusing on the negative. It dominates my thoughts constantly and I've built them into serious limiting self beliefs.

For the record I don't lift because I have severely injured my back from lifting and this makes me feel like shit because I loved lifting and I obviously understand its huge benefits, physically and mentally.

Things I focus on are: I'm ugly as fuck, not in shape, my depression seriously fucks my 'game' regarding women and just people in general. I'm 26 and have trouble even getting it up for masturbation, pretty much had next to no sexual experience ever (bad sex with an escort 3 times). I'm not 'worthy' of sex. I simply don't understand how people can be good enough to get laid. My lack of sexual experience is my main cause for my feelings of inadequacy. Have health issues. People like me sometimes but never enough for sexual attraction.

I never felt like this until last year when my virgin oneitis wanted me to fuck her and I built it into this huge thing in my head (I was also secretly a virgin). She fucked off and it completely emotionally crippled me. I found TRP and had serious depression for months.

There's more than plenty in my life to be grateful for and I try to appreciate everything daily. My head is just a complete mess these days. I don't know where to start to heal my mind. I'd appreciate just any advice on where to start fixing myself instead of "lift and sidebar".