I ask this because I have seen all the arguments against marriage today and, other than the aspect of raising children, I agree that marriage is not a good deal for men these days. But I still want to get married someday, not only because it's expected in my family but also because we have stable marriages. Out of my all the relatives I know, which totals about 40 marriages, the only divorces have been:
My aunt: after 30 years of marriage with all their kids grown... she initiated it but did not divorce rape him to my knowledge (I don't think she really could have because she worked full time, plus she's not that kind of person)
Her daughter: who was (and is) a mentally ill alcoholic who didn't get married until she was in her mid 40s... the marriage ended a couple years later (with no kids obviously)... she was his second wife
My uncle but, while he may not have had all the blame, he was definitely a deadbeat who was not cut out for marriage or fatherhood so he is not an example of why a responsible, hard-working man shouldn't get married.
My half-cousin but he got remarried and has been happily married for 30 years
My cousin, who had married a black girl (we're white). Statistically interracial marriages are much more likely to fail so this was kind of predictable
His sister, who married another man and has been happily married for 25 years
Another cousin, but no kids and an amicable divorce
A second cousin but she is absolutely batshit. I don't know if her husband got screwed.
I also have a cousin who knocked up his gf at 20 about six years ago. They got married and have been close to divorce but they're making it work.
Oh and one of my aunts divorced her husband but he had become basically a vegetable in a car crash so I don't count this. She continued to take care of him.
So yeah, my family has a pretty good marriage track record. Not that there haven't been rough patches (for example, all four of the marriages in my immediate family have come close to divorce (or, in my parents' case, as close as a devout Catholic couple can come)), but they've made it work. I've just counted all the marriages out of all the relatives I know, no matter how distant, and every divorce I've listed on here. From my count, the divorce to successful marriage ratio is less than 20% and none to my knowledge were divorce rape. So on an emotional level I just don't have the aversion to marriage that I see so often on the internet.
Also, what is your ethnic background? I think that matters. I come from a midwestern Catholic family on both sides. Dad German/Irish, mom French/Chippewa/English/Bohemian
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