Found LTR on tinder

May 15, 2019

I had a hunch my LTR of several months wasn't being faithful and wasn't still as interested, the red flags were there.

I made a catfish tinder account (had tinder gold left from an earlier period) and, sure enough, she swiped right on it.

The part of me that's read the info on here and tried to absorb it knows the right move: ghost, NC, never let her get closure.

The beta part of me wants to use this to confront her somehow. Make her admit to being unfaithful.

I know there's nothing to gain from the latter. Tell me what I need to hear, TRP. Make it hurt a little if you can.

Edit: thank you, everyone. I'm in a rough place right now, but I know what I need to do (full ghost). I sincerely appreciate every comment, read every one of them.

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Post Information
Title Found LTR on tinder
Author Blergen5
Upvotes 166
Comments 139
Date May 15, 2019 12:28 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit /r/askTRP
Archive Link
Original Link
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[–]TheRedPike[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Anvilplunger69273 points274 points  (32 children) | Copy Link

She doesn’t need an explanation for why you are going to end the relationship. End it, and don’t give her closure. Just walk away

[–]alphabachelor104 points105 points  (20 children) | Copy Link


Ghosting them without explanation will drive them insane.

I would not be surprised that in 5 to 10 years lately she reappears begging you to take her back or to find out why you dumped her.

[–]vileoat80 points81 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

5 to 10 years? Lol. I bet it will be in 2-6 MONTHS. Though it is a cuck move to take her back. You can duck her once but she is not worth even a title of plate in my book. Too problematic gal to have around

[–]GIFtoGasm29 points30 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

Always 2-6 months. I seriously have a carousel of exes that orbit around every 2-6 months. Longer ago the longer they come around but still consistent.

[–]availableEXCLAMATION23 points24 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

You enjoy this? That’s so strange to me. I care for my exes even when they were cunts (bitches be bitches, I still want the best for them). I’ve had GFs cheat, I break up, even then I still wish the happiness and the best, but just 100% without me. It would honesty hurt me to see them begging for me back and suffering. And what a headache having a orbit of ex’s bothering me.

[–]The-Wizard-of-Oz-7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I enjoy it

[–]EvolvedVirus1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I would never forgive a bitch who cheated. Such women will learn the value of honor, of honesty, of morals, and loyalty and I will go to reasonable lengths to teach that lesson.

However, I've dumped girls who didn't cheat, but did certain inappropriate and disrespectful things... like acting out, and being crazy, and/or alcohol-addiction etc. For those ex's I still feel bad for them and try to help them while remaining firm that I don't want them back. I don't spend time with them but I do pity them. I know it cannot work out and I'm not going to allow them in just because they have a vagina.

[–]VigilantSmartbomb-1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Need to look into the dread game, women want it. This is all about them in hindsight, think about it. This entire thing is about building attraction and if they like it they’re attracted to it.

[–]availableEXCLAMATION17 points18 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I understand Dread. But who cares if an ex is attracted to you or not? When I break up in a serious relationship, I’ll never be with them again. Why would I put myself through that for sex or anything else after it has hit the point of no return? I move on. And moving on means her attraction to me is irrelevant. I will admit, I also have the urge to be remembered in a good way, but that is not the goal. My goal is to end things in a manner that benefit me as much as possible (ex. She’s a BPD I GTFO at all costs, she’s my children’s mother I stay on good terms), but I also balance that with leaving her in as best a condition I can for her sake alone. This could mean I don’t get to be seen as an Alpha RP bad ass, I sacrifice that for what’s best for myself and her. I’m not gonna make her jealous, or run active Dread game, or play games like a chick I will never have any relationship with again (ironically, doing what you have to do in a break up as an honorable man as I describe inadvertently is Dread kinda, being a man and moving on but with compassion for her).

[–]NabroleonBonaparte15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It’s always a breath of fresh air to see someone who does what’s best for them, but also leaves things on a good note.

Seems like a lot of people need to trash or destroy someone they’re no longer involved with and don’t understand the long term compounding effects of that behavior.

[–]VigilantSmartbomb-2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You don’t know that though, and if you do to the extent because you’d make the decision to never date them again, then it would be contingent on you not knowing if another round with them would be beneficial to you. Short answer: ya don’t know.

Why would you do that if it hit a place of no return? Because it raises your confidence and smv, and because; we’re not doing anything. A group of girls orbiting you will raise your smv. The RP alpha isn’t doing anything because they know it’s raising smv, unless they overstep boundaries.

You on the other hand, said you want to give closure because you “care” about them. You should care about yourself too.

“We” aren’t doing anything, “you” are giving unneeded closure which could also affect your chances with other girls.

So when you’re saying why would you do all of this stuff for sex if it’s dead and over? Well, explain to us all then why you are? Again, we’re not doing anything, you are. So your question should really be turned around with yourself. And sure maybe you’ve convinced yourself you don’t want to have sex with them, but if you want them in your life to any capacity, (even keeping mental tabs on them like a white knight protector), then you’ve gotta ask yourself why you’re really doin that. Or at least recognize by doing that, you’re potentially taking away from future endeavors.

Okay I just read the rest of your post. Either red pill or don’t there’s no halfin it and you’re throwing way too many different philosophies in there. Maybe check out the rational male. It’s pretty dang rational.

And I get the whole love thing but you’re literally sacrificing your life for them when they wouldn’t do the same otherwise they’d raise their smv and be keeping you happy, but they’re not. Like I’m really not trying to be mean but you should peruse the sidebar again my dude.

[–]availableEXCLAMATION4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m not sure if your mixing up comments, your reply is confusing. I never said I want to give closure because I care. I even said sometimes you gotta GTFO at all costs, meaning no closure nothing no being nice. I also addressed caring about ones-self, that is the primary goal, with the secondary goal of letting her move on by not purposefully gaming her with dread and shit.

Convinced myself I don’t want sex with her again, well don’t get me wrong, there’s a great chance I’d enjoy sex with them still. But in some cases it’s not worth it, either for me or for her (girls get obsessed sometimes and it be better to just let them move on too, rather than string her along with sex). I’d just go have sex with a new girl, I don’t have to convince myself of anything. Sure sex with ex may be enjoyable still, but I just move on to the next)

Keeping tabs like a white knight, I don’t like that either. All I’m saying is leave them well off, no Dread games for my sake. No keeping tabs. I’ll be fine, I can meet girls easily, I don’t need to Dread her.

I think we should all learn from RP philosophies and integrate them into our own system. I don’t have to be 100% anything. Also, I never said sacrifice my whole life for someone who wouldn’t do the same. I literally said sometimes you literally GTFO/Ghost for your own sake and have to disregard them to prevent self destruction. And I don’t expect girls to do ANY of what I describe, not even close, most will drop with no concern for you. But we aren’t chicks. We should do what’s right.

I don’t think your being mean, just discussing and arguing back and forth with your perspective. I appreciate your ideas, I’m not 100% correct about this shit. No hard feelings here my dude.

[–]The-Wizard-of-Oz--1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's validation

[–]alphabachelor11 points12 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I’m in my 40s and I still have ones from my latest 20s sending me pings...

[–]VigilantSmartbomb5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Ping ping! Gives us the dick! 😂😂

[–]alphabachelor8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

As much as I’d love it to be about me, it’s all about their ego.

Next to death, taxes and gravity — women cannot stand not having the high ground when it comes to ending relationships or arrangements.

Just leave, don’t say why and never tell them. They will go to their grave talking about you.

[–]availableEXCLAMATION8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Why would anyone want that? Especially a “RP alpha”... Sounds kinda lame to me. Just move on. I’d even want to give them enough closure to leave me alone. Sounds like something a Bitch would do.

[–]SeamusAwl3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Their anger phase. When you ghost them they no longer exist to you. What happens to them is irrelevant.

[–]AtlasCuckd7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

An ex-LTR reappeared after 5 years for me. This was about a month ago. Stupid text about a twitter account, quite irrelevant. You could tell she was really reaching for a reason to contact me.

No point responding TBH. Depending on how you respond, you will likely have two outcomes:

A) risk coming across butthurt or still affected by the past. She then justifies the breakup in her mind and further solidifies your (potentially) beta classification

B) you act overly nice and forgiving, which absolves her of any guilt she may still be feeling or having after the breakup (especially if she was a bitch).

I left her on read. Silence is ambiguous and she will always wonder.

My advice: Don't give her any closure. The closure you seek is for yourself only, and you have your closure by knowing she's cheating then proceeding to leave her.

[–]VigilantSmartbomb5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Really gotta play the no contact card here. But dead on

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I am sure if it was posted on other subs women would whine "b-but she deserves closureeeee!!!". All the time when guys suggest dumping and ghosting a cheating gf, women give this stupid retort about her deserving an explanation. Sickening

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Absolutely not. Why not keep her, as a plate, and continue searching for another LTR?

Demote and continue enjoying the rides.

[–]UEMcGill14 points15 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Maybe OP is incapable of executing that according to plan. If he thinks he'll fall on old habits or is incapable of dealing with the inevitable emotional manipulation she will bring, his efforts are better spent at starting anew.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

No argument with that. We are each at different places.

[–]spnkkr0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

So as long as I can keep my emotions in check and continue to date other girls, it's not some cardinal sin by RP standards to sleep around with my ex?? I'm kinda using this arrangement we have to have some state of abundance and a fall back plan until I finish college and devote a lot more time to game. Thoughts?

Context: I left her over a year ago because I was tired of the upkeep - and wanted to be single while at college for all them sloots right, she was a great gf otherwise. I guess I subconsciously - and somewhat unintentionally - instilled a lot of DGAF behaviour and dread into the relationship, so it worked pretty well, maybe why she's still super keen to spend our time almost exclusively for sex.

[–]UEMcGill0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Sure as long as she never gets promoted. Once she's been demoted, she can not go up again.

[–]spnkkr0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Got ya. Thanks

[–]ciraze104 points105 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

I like to believe not giving someone closure after their scummy actions is the best revenge you can do without putting your self is a worse position.

Run like the wind and learn from you experience and leave her confused. This bitch probably thought she had you all figured out and then (Boom) plot twist she has no idea what hit her. That will linger in her mind for a couple decades just slowly eating away at her. Tbh I wouldn't be surprised if she tried to contact you trying to find closure. Bitches alway want to be the ones in control and want to believe they have everything including you "Under control" They're manipulative by nature and not knowing something is their greatest trigger.
Thats why when you hint at something or she finds out you went out somewhere last night she will question you to no end about it because it threatens her fantasy of "Being in control and knowing everything" If she doesn't know, she can't manipulate.

just a littlle rant, anyway bro you did really good, the amount of times I see guys returning back trying to get revenge after they figured out their girls are cheating on them. These chumps don't realise that all they're doing is giving the girls closure and the girls will always have easy access to more options and move on very quick. By not giving them closure it makes it so that even if they do move on they will always be haunted.

[–]itiswr1tten44 points45 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Take this advice OP. You know the truth and her confession means NOTHING. Gtfo and go fuck other women, leaving a mystery behind is the actual "revenge" because she'll have no one to blame but herself

[–]TheTrenTrannyTrain19 points20 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Lol, no way, she'll just blame you for not being man enough to treat her like a "lady".

[–]ciraze6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

^^Exactly my point.

[–]Sad_Sleeper2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Do you care how she will think of you ? She is in the past, so why bother ? She will find some beta provider to treat her like "lady" and then she will hit the wall.

[–]Popeman7916 points17 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Great comment. Giving women logical reasons and causes for everything is basically giving them the keys to our hearts (they already have the keys to our dicks). It's giving them absolute power. And absolute power corrupts absolutely.

[–]empatheticapathetic3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

What would happen if OP ended it but told her it because she wasn’t attractive enough?

[–]ciraze14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If he told her it was due to a single thing ie. She wasn't attractive enough, a womans ego protects her from such comments.

I would imagine it would go something like this;

guy: I'm breaking up with you because you're not attractive enough for me anymore

Girl who is cheating: You said WHAT, you fu*** douchebag, you had a small D*** anyway and I never liked you to begin with, I was only using you for free food etc etc etc etc

Women have a natural mechanism to defend against such comments made to them by men who they deem are below them or by men who are not up to their standards. And especially men who they have no issue going behing their backs and cheating on them.

TLDR: A comment like that would have no effect on a woman like this in this scenario.

Here's an example, have you ever tried telling a girl that she's bad at giving head or she's a bad kisser? That never goes well, she'll spin it on you somehow always, they're great at never taking blame for anything. Remember it is never a womans fault in her mind for anything not even cheating.

[–]_the_shape_2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

What would happen if OP ended it but told her it because she wasn’t attractive enough?

Two things a lot of guys fail to realize:

1) Far too many feel compelled to make a move of some sort, but not making a move (as in, vanishing off the face of the Earth with zero conventional retaliation, such as confronting her merely to vomit up a bunch of rage and resentment directly at her) does, in fact, constitute a "move" (on the chessboard), bringing me to the second point

2) walking away without saying a word is, perhaps, the coldest and most vicious move available to a man. Yes, she will likely patch it up with some 'reason' or a combination of reasons, likely aided by friends and family (ex. "didn't I tell you that asshole would leave a princess like you for a skank? I guarantee that's what that fucking worthless piece of shit did. Guys only leave like that when they've got some other ho lined up waiting for him..."), but it will never truly be confirmed, so closure will never really be achieved (which is what she's after, after all). Regardless of what she tells herself or what anyone else may tell her, she will have to live with the fact that a guy simply walked out on her life with no explanation, nothing to reflect on, nothing but doubt and confusion sandwiched in between the bullshit she's voraciously gobbled up in order to move on, and believe me: when it comes to breakups especially, the stomach of a woman does not digest doubt very well.

[–]availableEXCLAMATION5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Why do you guys need revenge. I really don’t think this is the right thing to do. Little cunt girls want revenge on exes. Men shouldn’t act like that. Move on and be a man. Don’t lash out like a bratty chick.

[–]randomfire90 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I know its a bit off topic, but on the subject of closure, I recently applied to a job and the manager made it seem like I got the position. He asked for my references within a few days of the interview and said he'd get back to me within the week. 3 weeks later he turned me down, and I had turned down another job offer because I was keen on getting this job. I emailed him once a week asking for updates and he said the "process was taking longer than usual", then rejected me. I'm kind of ticked and I want to tell the guy I don't accept his apology of taking so long to respond to me and that I turned down another job offer because he gave me the impression it was likely I was getting the job, and kept delaying, probably interviewing other people, and had already rejected me.

I know it's a bad idea to burn bridges but this guy really didn't respect my time at all.

[–]MindFuktd2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Rookie mistake.

If you interviewed well, the offer you cancelled might still be on the table. Also, CALL the manager where you got rejected, and ask for details why you did not get the job, areas you can improve etc. If you're not a sperg he'll be honest.

When I cancelled two interviews (after accepting an offer) the managers at both companies called me back, asking what was wrong with THEM, what might still keep me interested, and finally to call back if my current offer fell through or at a future date. And this was only after phone screen interviews (top-tier engineering firms).

Ps - if you're getting the job, you'll usually know in days, not weeks, if not immediately

[–]randomfire90 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I was too angry. I ended up sending him an email. Now I feel like crap for sending the email. I knew I'd feel that way sending the email too, but I couldn't resist the urge to tell him.

"While I appreciate the sentiment, I must inform you that I actually turned down a job offer out of state when you told me you were talking to my references. Now I missed out on an opportunity because you took so long to get back to me. This is why I tried to keep in contact with you multiple times. If you had told me sooner that I did not get the position and you were interviewing other candidates, I would not be in this predicament. I'm not upset, I'm simply disappointed."

[–]ciraze1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This was terrible. You learn from it and move on that's how life goes. Remember a man should never let their emotions take the better of them.

If there's someone you don't like, at least try to get some value out of them before cutting bridges.

That email did nothing for you except just reaffirming to him that his decision in not hiring you was the correct decision as humans like justifying things in our minds and we are never wanting to take the blame for anything.

Here's something to think about:

Do you really believe he doesn't know that job seekers are also looking for jobs elsewhere at the same time as his? When someone is looking for a job they never throw all their eggs in one basket and he knows that. The real world is a world where no one gives a fuck about you and people step over other people to get to the top. He doesn't care what you think of him or how he treated you or made you feel. All he cares about is doing his job and if that entails looking for better candidates while stringing you along then so be it.

Just as an employer is exploring his options so must you.

It's the same with women tbh

You don't chase one woman and hope that she chooses you as her boyfriend, you must keep your options open just as she is doing. This is the one thing we are adamantly taught as soon as we get redpilled, yet you failed to apply the same logic to the workplace and the world outside of women.

[–]Unlikely_Composer73 points74 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

You can feed the alpha or you can feed the beta.

Whichever one you feed is going to get stronger.

She’s not faithful, she deserves no closure, she deserves no respect.

You already know what you’re going to do.

[–]319Skew10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well said

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

And why not keep her for the rides. Demote. And continue looking for a LTR.

[–]LukeVTruth8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

He may not be ready for that. Sure it sounds good on paper but chances are she’ll go back to being his LTR in no time.

[–]_the_shape_6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

And why not keep her for the rides. Demote. And continue looking for a LTR.

Because resentment may very well begin to build up, and flushing resentment out of one's system is not so easy.

He may continue to fuck her, but odds are high that thoughts of her infidelity will slowly eat away at him each time she sees him, each time she tell him that she "misses" him, each time she does something nice for him. The entire LTR will likely, from that point onward, seem like one massive lie, like a repeated slap in the face, continuously trading in his dignity for a piece of ass.

Doable, yes, but not recommended.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Naww. Hatefuck her, how you want on your own terms. Choke, anal, draw slut on her forehead, beat her eyes with your dick. Let her endure it or her be the one to walk away.

A wise man once said - "Oooh - OOOhh - OOOOOOOH YESSSSSSSS"

[–]yallareweak0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Holy fuck I'm rollin

[–]Original_Dankster44 points45 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Agreed with other posters - end it. No explanation. BUT...

...You could have some fun with that catfish tinder account. Set up a date for a prime time (Fri or Sat night) with her. Then stand her up, ghost her.

It's not mature - but it's funny. I'd personally enjoy doing that. Is it Red Pilled? Prob not. But IDGAF, if it's funny to me I'd do it.

[–]HumbleTrees14 points15 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

This would just be too tempting to do. Tell her you're out on Friday night with the boys. Then with your fake account, tell her a place and time to meet Outside a bar or something. Then irl ask her what shes up to on Friday while you're out; she will make up some bullshit. Then "happen" to visit the same bar with another woman. She couldn't say shit or you can ask why she's there and not where she said. It's complicated but I'd do it just for the story and the laugh it'd give me.

[–]BusterVadge13 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Funny but way too much effort

[–]HumbleTrees4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You lack the commitment to see it through. I don't 😅

[–]CaptDeadlift0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If it comes to revenge just fuck her good and kick her out lol.

[–]KettleLogic5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

or just organise the ghost date then move all her shit out while shes on a date :')

[–]drakehfh10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well, after being stood up, she will learn that op doesn't want her in his life anymore. She will literally be destroyed.

[–]niczar1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Instead of just standing her up, send a mutual friend to "run into her" at the place and time, to give her a scare and observe her behavior.

[–]volvostupidshit50 points51 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

If you do it the beta way you will feel good for a moment and then you will realize what an idiot you are afterwards. Break it, no mercy no gay words needed.

[–]aliveandwalking19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Someone wrote and then deleted this comment:

You've done nothing you owe her nothing. No 'talk', no closure. Don't do it to hurt her, that's stooping to her level. Do it as an act of self respect, and a DISPLAY OF ACTION.

Ghost her...leave her stuff out on the doorstep. Fuck that, buddy, you don't deserve to get fucked around on.

When she asks what the fuck's happening, simply tell her you know about Tinder, and to not contact you again.

She thought she could do whatever she wanted behind your back. No more to see here, sorry sweetheart.

I just wanted to say that I think that's close to giving her closure and that's what should be avoided. The less she knows about your reasons to leave, the better. This way her hamster can go crazy with all kind of possible scenarios: "Did he find a better girl?", "Did he find out what a piece of shit I am?", "Does he not find me attractive anymore?", etc...

Her hamster spinning around like that is your revenge.

[–]Irtotallynotrobot18 points19 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

One theory I've been toying with: cheaters enjoy the act of being caught. Part of the reason they do this shit is the stakes. The excitement of potentially getting caught. Cheating is not a release, it's a build up. Getting caught is the release. Approaching her about the behavior is getting her off.

Break her game, block her out from your life completely. Enjoy the thought of her totally unsatisfied.

[–]Greaterbird0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

For some people it probably feels like a validation power trip. For other people it's a lack of enough self control to keep their junk in their pants and follow the terms they agreed to.

[–]Irtotallynotrobot4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"everything about the world is about sex except sex, sex is about power."

[–]Ohboohoolittlegirl54 points55 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Walk away..If you do want some revenge, make an appointment to meet her up as catfish dude. Then show up with her stuff in a few bags and leave her again. No words, just leave the bag and go..

[–]somebullshitrp22 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is funny if he can do it without being butthurt, and doesn't engage her in conversation or anything when it happens. Most guys would fail at this being faced with an upset soon-to-be-ex-LTR, which she is sure to be.

[–]yumyumgivemesome10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This sounds fun in theory but feels very melodramatic. Also, it tells her exactly why the relationship is over. I like the other commenters' position that OP owes this girl absolutely nothing. Explaining why the relationship is over gives her the closure women crave so they can bounce on the CC feeling vindicated by an ex-bf who didn't trust them.

[–]ZR19874 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I actually like this!

[–]onetothehouse15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Maybe; but doesn't it show he was 'insecure' enough (at least in her mind) to go through the effort to make a fake account and spend the time to find per profile. Doesn't seem like a high value move in my opinion. Especially since he did it on a hunch.

[–]oofmydigestivesystem1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Why should OP care about whether or not this bitch thinks he is insecure? Even if she does, I'm sure she'll come around after OP ghosts her.

[–]Aggressive_Beta17 points18 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Put everything of hers in a trash bag and leave it outside your house. Text her telling her that she has until trash collection day to get it off your property, and then hard next

[–]Cholo4Trump1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Way to air out his dirty laundry to all the neighbors smh.

[–]randomfire92 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

fuck your neighbors, nobody's loyal these days.

[–]Cholo4Trump1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

everybody farts but doesnt mean u just rip some in public nonchalantly.

by throwing out her shit in the front yard, u are letting your neighbors know u dont run a tight ship at home and with women. at worst u will be the bad abusive guy, at best u cant handle ur women or keep her in check.

[–]Irtotallynotrobot0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Great line

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

You wouldnt keep her as a plate? Demote but keep the free rides?

[–]Aggressive_Beta1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I would, but OP doesn’t seem to want to do that

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I agree with you. But he's got oneitus then.

[–]Aggressive_Beta2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Also, if he’s going to demote her to plate status, there’s still no point in confronting her about the cheating. There’s no point in even telling her that she’s been demoted.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Make sure you keep evidence of this so you can fix your social circle she is inevitably going to try and fuck up. She'll probably accuse you of shit to make herself look like a victim to friends and family. Dont give her closure, but also protect yourself

[–]Pouderpuff6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Women don't take responsibility. So you showing her won't do anything. She'll just hamster a reason to blame you anyways. "You weren't man enough" "You didn't show enough interest" anything to take the responsibility off her shoulders.

Ghost and don't look back. She's a waste of time at this point.

[–]GeuseyBetel6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Tinder is cancer

[–]captain_COONdog0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Met my LTR on there, no lie. Relationship has been a trip; she dropped weight and got a lot of shit together since the dickwhipping. Currently having her find us another girlfriend, and she even paid for my tinder gold.

[–]SniXSniPe5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link


Seriously. You owe her nothing, and lashing out does nothing in the end. You already know she's on tinder.

If I were you, I would document (screenshot, etc.) pictures of her being on tinder and such, that way if she tries to throw a shit storm at you that can impact your friends/social life in general, you'll have proof to casually show she was cheating on you.

Don't message her, don't talk to her, just move on. Block and just disappear. You don't need to hear her bullshit excuses, or her throwing anything back on you.

[–]captain_COONdog0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Honestly, depending on how you lash out, you might get their pussy wet. You never know; drama does give tingles. Once verbally lashed out at a female so bad her self-esteem was shattered and after ghosting for a month, we met up and I nutted on her face. But we had different issues. In OP's shoes, I'd just start shit by saying such-and-such friend found her acct. (Or act like catfish is the friend lol) Then proceed to be the verbally cruel fuck I can be. (Thanks, mom and dad.)

Don't do it to your oneitis though. Just ghost those. You need to look out for yourself and too many feelings can get in the way.

[–]777views4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hey brother I just wanted to say you deserve better. Forget her.

[–]VasiliyZaitzev6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You spelled "ex-LTR" wrong.

[–]yumyumgivemesome4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Get somewhat of a conversation going so you can screenshot and have actual evidence in case this comes to bite you in the ass, such as mutual friends or her family members trying to make you feel shitty for ghosting her.

[–]Herdsengineers7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

What course of action will have you looking back on this in 3 months and feeling that you handled in the way that best served your self-respect? Ghosting is usually recommended because most guys, at least posting here, don't have the frame control to go tell her why it's over and maintain frame in the face of the denials and female hamstering that will be thrown at them. It's also the easiest and a girl that is cheating isn't worth more of your consideration than ghosting.

If you do go confront or talk to her, tell her it's over, etc. - keep it very short and sweet. Needs to be "I'm ending it, it's over." If you go further and tell her why, it needs to be "you're cheating, you're not interested anymore anyway, so I'm out." Don't reveal your information source, don't explain more or get caught up in whatever response her hamster vomits out. Just say final words of "not engaging in any of this, i know what i know, and i have nothing else to say beyond it's over and i'm moving on." then end the interaction, leave/hang up/whatever, and turn your attention to your future. she'll be in the past, and she can stay there.

I'll just reiterate, nothing wrong with ghosting her in this case. Like I said above, cheaters aren't worth more consideration.

[–]Datanami2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

a girl that is cheating


[–]0io-6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Personally I wouldn't do anything different except fire up my own Tinder account and be a little rougher and more aggressive sexually with her. Suggest threesomes and that kind of thing.

She's a horny slut (the best kind, right?) and you're not keeping her satisfied(!) so she's looking for some more action on the side.

She likes you enough and she's attracted to you enough to hook up with you (which is good), now you just have to step up your game and treat her like she's a lot wilder and kinkier than you thought.

She probably didn't want an LTR, she just wants to get fucked, which is why she's on Tinder. If you want you could try to gather intel through your catfish account, say something like "I have a gf but she's not keeping me satisfied, not sure if you can relate." Maybe if you get lucky she'll tell you about her cute boyfriend who's nice and boring and how he never takes the hint that she wants [whatever she wants].

Anyway, I would treat this less like a betrayal, and more like a red flag that you're too boring in bed for this girl. Stop going on dates with her and just treat her like she's your own personal fantasy porno girl and see if the relationship improves. Right?

Nothing to lose really. Make sure you're using protection.

[–]Sylvester_Sterone2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh... and put a tail plug in her.

[–]captain_COONdog1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've saved LTRs this way. If things are going to shit, might as well turn up the asshole meter. What have you got to lose? Your piece of mind? Lol

Time apart, fuck like filthy animals, (rub her clit while pounding her cervix) hell might as well get another plate or upgrade.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Better revenge will be if you ghost her. Because it is not her but you who wants closure. You want an explanation.. That's it. So do yourself a favour, make her super mad by not giving a fuck about this and going full no contact.

[–]CainPrice2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Never give closure when you dump a woman. Just say that your feelings have changed and you've decided to end things. Add that you're happy to keep something casual going if she's into that but you understand if she needs some time for any emotions to calm. Say that like you're ordering dinner. Like you expect her to keep fucking you. Like your past 100 girlfriends have all stayed casual after the fact. But like you don't really care how she answers.

Saying that will shock her enough to help head off her demands for your reasons, but when she demands reasons, just stick to what you said originally. Your feelings have changed and you've decided to end things. Give her no additional information. The fact that you want to end things is reason enough.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

you already know the answer dude. just ghost. there's no way to rationalize having a tinder account in a LTR

[–]TFWnoLTR2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nothing you ever say to her or make her admit will ever make her feel guilt or remorse for what she has done. You would only be stressing yourself out and giving her the satisfaction of knowing how hurt you are to lose her.

[–]leftajar2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you want to have a triumphant moment, you can indulge. It might be instructive, actually, to watch the hamster in real-time.

One possibility is to just start reading her profile back to her, in front of her. And just watch her reaction.

The goal is not to get into an argument, which she will most certainly try to do, but rather to observe how quickly women can click into emotional manipulation tactics.

[–]zxcvb78091 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think you should keep fucking her like nothing changed in addition to finding more plates on your own time. Take a screen shot of her tinder profile though so later on if you are ever confronted about it you can say that you thought the relationship ended when you found her tinder profile.

[–]Red_Pill_Brotherhood1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Most importantly, MOVE ON and do NOT ever let her back into your life.

[–]teveza111 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Very simple:

Don't make her admit being unfaithful.

Just realize what she is: a hoe.

She is a hoe that you can hook up with and nothing more.

Hook up with her, but realize that her status as your LTR will never be.

[–]Onein1024th0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

yeah I'd just demote her. never promote her to LTR again. ever.

[–]RevolutionaryPea71 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hard. Next.

I look forward to your next post being a field report about fucking a HB half a notch higher than your ex.

[–]tchower1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It’s like that Sugar Ray song lyric “something’s so deceivin’ when you stop believin’, turn me around again! Said we couldn’t do it, you know I wanna do it again!”

[–]Bedtimeshine1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Dude. Fuck ghosting. Just trying to hurt her back is bitch move. Ghosting is for people who are scared to confront. Step up and handle it with finality. Look her in the eye, tell her you know she’s on tinder, the relationship is over, and not to contact you again. Then block her.

[–]captain_COONdog0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Works for some. I've shown pure wrath (verbal/emotional violence) before. Hatefucks are amazing, and would honestly give OP a chance to rekindle her attraction, dickwhip that hoe down, and rebound his frame.

Shit, I've never known a hoe to cheat when she willingly allows her cervix to get bruised.

[–]MoeJartin2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

what do you really want to do?

[–]walawalawa1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

A plate I was banging who claimed I was seeing too many other girls dropped off. I saw her and matched with her on Tinder. Then she texted me: "are you dating one of my friends?" Right.

In your case, break up. Don't say why. Just "it's over...."

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

End it man. More women out there

[–]pnceng0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Let it go - dont waste the effort - life is short there are so many other singles out there....yes it will take time to find them but don't let them waste your time or you waste your own time...

[–]Kabuki4310 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link


[–]hatethiscity0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree with all the advice on here to ghost. Be proud of yourself for trusting your gut and not confronting as she'd likely use typical gaslight / manipulation techniques. You have the closure you need, you dont need to know why she is a cheater, you already know the answers.

She doesn't deserve any explanation and you will cause her the most pain without actually hurting her by ghosting. Best of luck brotha.

[–]bilabrin0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Walk towards your next relationship

[–]neso2250 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Man bitchez man just end it with her no need to confront her about

[–]Thor-Loki-10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Stop being a pussy.

[–]BiasedBavarian0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ghost and never look back

Actually I’d just demote

[–]Sylvester_Sterone0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Several months?

Did you guys meet on Tinder?

Who brought up the exclusivity conversation?

[–]GainzdalfTheWhey0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well you gained a fuck buddie and all this time to find a better LTR. You lost a shitty LTR.

It's a win win bro

[–]xXxOrcaxXx0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you want to make her hurt, show her that you need her less than she does you.

[–]jackandjill220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link


[–]UWantThisName360 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I would like to offer a musical selection that may give you the answer you seek.

If you're familiar with the rap artist "K camp" and their esteemed volume know as "cut her off" I believe a bit of wisdom can be found in this unintelligible giberish, that will relate directly to the situation you have described.

[–]jellyman6430 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Fuck man sorry to hear that . Keep strong

[–]ErmYouCantTalk0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Conflicted. You said something to another human being that was almost NORMAL. BUT.....

... you're subscribed to TRP. LOL. But OF COURSE you're subbed to TRP, I think all adult virgins are, right?

[–]KettleLogic0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

how do you have tinder gold 'left over' its a monthly subscription.

[–]omega_dawg930 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

LTR of several months... MONTHS?

if you're under 25, don't say LTR again. find plates... spin them all. relentlessly.

[–]kayfab0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You are not alone bro this social media online dating is affecting a lot of people. i been single for 7y and just having fun fucking around best years of my life fuck long term.

[–]redarkane0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

just leave. don't even say bye. thots gonna thot.

[–]Zanford0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ghost. Ghosting will make her question her own attractiveness (she'll think she wasn't good enough for you), whereas if you confront her, she'll decide that she's too good for you (since you're being territorial while she's still playing the field.) Also if you confront her she will walk away telling herself that she broke up with you, even if it's the other way around. If you ghost, it will zap her ego.

[–]goathunter050 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Set up a date with her on tinder. Make her rock up, don't rock up yourself. Then 100% ghost. Massive win

[–]sircomeseyesd0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Never reveal this story to her. She'll spin it on you. You're now the bad guy that drove her to do this.

[–]sircomeseyesd0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Set up a date with her and ghost her lol

[–]Jabbermouth0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Have you seen the kids TV show Danny Phantom? Aired on Nickelodeon back in the 2000s. Great show.

Anyways the main character had the ability to turn into a ghost and whenever he did he would say “Going ghost!” before disappearing.

I suggest you do the same.

[–]MentORPHEUS0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've PM'd nothing but a screenshot of her online weeks into dating. She hamstered out an excuse. Neither of us contacted the other again. I pivoted to other women in rotation and never skipped a beat.

[–]HumanSockPuppet-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't discipline people for free. Come suck my dick and then clean my kitchen, bitch.

[–]rpmc83-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I'm torn philosophically here. There's a couple mutually exclusive things I'd want:

  1. Confrontation: Like showing the dog that its poop on the carpet is not appreciated. If most men do this, won't it eventually click and help her become a better, more serious LTR for the rest of us who might consider dating her later?
  2. Ghost. But she might not realize we know what she was up to. She will think she got away with the Tindering undiscovered and just think the guy ghosted for some other random reason of his own. She might hamster a bit, but won't know for sure it's because she fucked up. Since she doesn't know why she got ghosted, she won't feel guilty or learn from what she did.


[–]Thor-Loki-10 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Why the fuck do you care what she thinks? Or that you want to make her guilty?

These are pathetic, beta-bitch, feminine behaviors. Remove them from yourself.

Look. You're not correcting her behavior--ala shitting on the carpet. You're dumping her ass because she's a typical, branch-swinging woman, looking for other dick.

And you don't give one fuck what she thinks or feels about it.

[–]captain_COONdog-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You ever shit on a woman's self esteem so bad it ruined her for a good while? I don't know about you, but if you got mommy issues like I do, feelsgoodman.

I'd go further and say strong enough frame during confrontation, one hatefuck later and you'll have a submissive plate.

Seriously, what the fuck do you have to lose at this point?

Call her a whore (what she wants anyway) prove she's a whore by giving her what whores want (what she wants) and re-establish the relationship however you want. (Breakup or plate; don't be quick to reaffirm LTR)

[–]0kool74-2 points-1 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I'd have some fun with this. Find another chick and go bang. Get a picture or a video of it if you can then send it to her with the caption:

"You on Tinder looking for some side dick, so I went and got me some side pussy." It's a win-win. If she feels she isn't satisfied by you sexually, it doesn't matter because you can get other pussy. If she thinks she's free to fool around on you, it doesn't matter because guess can fool around as well. If she tries to bash you in the court of public opinion, two can play the cheating game and you don't give a fuck what other people think.

Of course, however, to pull this off you can't be a beta faggot. You actually have to have a DGAF mindset along with a set of balls.

[–]Twenty_league_boots5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is dumb. Feminine behavior.

[–]captain_COONdog0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Feminine? This what Alabama junkies do.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Why did you LTR a plate?

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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