~ archived since 2018 ~

GF lied about not deleting Whatsapp convos

December 31, 2019

Once she told me "I don't even have a password on my phone, you can check if you want, I don't delete texts or anything". Once she was in the shower I checked her messages on Whatsapp and she had one conversation with a beta guy, where he initiated the convo and talked a bit, with her not giving anything real back at him, just simple answers without adding anything. The other one was one guy complimenting her status, let's call him B which she replied 'thanks!'.

After a few months I snoop into her messages again, and both convos are gone. With the guy that complimented her (B), the original compliment was gone, but there was two more separated by a week, which this time she replies two times with 'Thanks [some heart emoji]'.

A few weeks passed and we again talk about this subject which she says to me again that she don't delete any texts. She said the only contacts she had that were man was a guy that I know, and some a boyfriend of her friend (the complimenting B guy). I think I kind of scared her this time and I showed some insecurity.

Yesterday I see her phone and this two male contacts were deleted (she can't initiate conversation and they can't see her status) and also the convo with the complimenting B guy was gone, again. When I discovered that the B guy had a GF I relaxed, but why the fuck would she lie? Probably because she thinks I would go nuclear as my frame is being inconsistent for a few months. But right now I don't know what to do, I feel that even tho they're white lies, this also remembered me that unicorns don't exists, and that she could lie about a lot of stuff. She may not have any man in her Whatsapp (main conversation app in Brazil), but she has 1500 followers on Instagram, she could talk with any of them, maybe even the guys she deleted the contact.

If I confront her, would be more reasons for her to hide her secrets, and I would have to say that I saw she had a convo with the guy either by picking her phone, or lying about seeing the convo when she was scrolling the phone. The other strategy (the one I was implementing) is to let this be and again check her phone when I get the chance to see if she has any convo, her thinking I don't see her texts she would 'slip' some valuable information. What should I do?

TheRedArchive is an archive of Red Pill content, including various subreddits and blogs. This post has been archived from the subreddit /r/askTRP.

/r/askTRP archive

Download the post

Want to save the post for offline use on your device? Choose one of the download options below:

Post Information
Title GF lied about not deleting Whatsapp convos
Author ForeverInYou
Upvotes 7
Comments 24
Date December 31, 2019 2:05 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit /r/askTRP
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/gf-lied-about-not-deleting-whatsapp-convos.303735
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/ei38pd/gf_lied_about_not_deleting_whatsapp_convos/
Red Pill terms in post

[–]definitelynotasian-53 points54 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like you are the beta guy.

[–]aaronryder7739 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Kind of agree on this with you. If it is lying which is bothering then OP should try a different approach instead because going through her phone and talking about how she deleted a conversation which barely held anything looks very bad, insecure and controlling on OP's part.

[–]ForeverInYou[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Which approach?

[–]aaronryder7730 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Sorry, im fairly new to this so i dont know much but you definitely need to find a different approach. If it is only the messages it can also be an instinct you know? Many people delete such messages because they're random and barely hold a convo. It can slip their mind as well. Even I do this. Just make it clear that you hate liars to the core but dont make it sound like talking to other guys makes you insecure

[–]muricanwerewolf10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Too late

[–]abomba240 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Was cringing so hard only half way though this

[–]andrew_little1[🍰] 21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You are not alpha. Leave her. Go become alpha.

Source: your post history

[–]Unlikely_Composer6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Why were you even having this conversation with her in the first place? The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

Life’s too short to put up with this bullshittery. Focus on you, soft next her.

[–]ForeverInYou[S] -2 points-1 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

In a way I wanted her to know what I would not accept in any case, which would be lies. And now I'm hammestering if I should do anything about it, of should consider this a simple thing not worth of anything...

[–]Unlikely_Composer0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I wouldn’t necessarily ghost her or anything like that, I’d just be more distant, spin some plates etc. If you get the idea that you don’t want to be in a ltr with her or if she does anything that you can call her out on then I’d hard next her. For now though keep it soft.

[–]FlyingSexistPig0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Why is it important that she know her behavior is unacceptable?

She knows it's unacceptable, but she does it anyway. She has 1500 thirsty simps begging for a glance at her. She doesn't need your attention.

So leave already.

[–]beholdthemaverick3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I went down this rabbit hole in my last relationship. OP I’m telling you now, if you don’t take the time to read thru the sidebar and unfuck your mental models you will suffer a lot.

Whether she was lying to avoid drama with you or lying cause she’s potentially sucking cock doesn’t matter. She’s failed to avoid the appearance of impropriety by lying, which is more than enough reason to next IMO.

If you keep going down this road, your imagination will fill in the blanks, your sense of perception will be skewed, and this will stay in the back of your head all the time, making you resent your woman. That resentment will come out in ugly ways as well. You may have victim pukes (Read: No More Me Nice Guy), you may act passive aggressively, etc.

On one hand you need to focus on YOURSELF and work relentlessly at raising your SMV. This is for you because she is irrelevant. Whether she stays or goes, you need to be in a position where you have options if she is in fact fucking around, and if you stay with her she’ll at least feel the dread of you having options and act right. Either way you win. But you have to ask yourself if lying, no matter how big or small the lie, is something you’re okay with. If she lies about the small things, she’ll lie about the big ones.

I would cultivate some options and keep two in the kitty. You need abundance, your own healthy ecosystem of friends, family, hobbies, social life, gym, etc. I don’t know you , but if you were on your shit you wouldn’t have time to worry about this. And she’d be too busy wondering if you’re cheating to be entertaining tom dick and harry on whatsapp. Focus on yourself, read the redpill handbook, and become more firm about what you’re willing to accept/not accept in your life.

[–]monky-loves-you8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

why the fuck would she lie

Lying is almost their default setting if it's an easier option than the alternative.

If I confront her

If you confront her AGAIN, you mean. What would that achieve except make her even more careful to hide her convos with other men from you. Then a year or later with you find out again she's lying about something else, WWYD then?

What should I do?

This woman is lying to you and definitely hiding some shit from you. This is not speculation, it's a fact that you have seen with your own eyes.

I wouldn't stand for that, but I'm not you. Maybe you would, but I wouldn't. I would tell her it's "not working for me" and I "want some time alone", to gently next this lying bitch the fuck out of my life.

[–]muricanwerewolf10 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Who can blame her for lying? She knows she’s in for a raft of shit for even having an “innocent” conversation. Now we know if the guy is hot she’s probably validation seeking, and she might even enjoy being hit on. A deeply insecure man like the OP cannot be trusted to read this situation, her lies could be covering for a tryst with Chad Thundercock or she could be lying because she knows OPs gonna freak when he learns she and Oliver Orbiter share cat memes while at work. There’s literally no way to tell.

[–]ForeverInYou[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Who can blame her for lying? She knows she’s in for a raft of shit for even having an “innocent” conversation. Now we know if the guy is hot she’s probably validation seeking, and she might even enjoy being hit on. A deeply insecure man like the OP cannot be trusted to read this situation, her lies could be covering for a tryst with Chad Thundercock or she could be lying because she knows OPs gonna freak when he learns she and Oliver Orbiter share cat memes while at work. There’s literally no way to tell.

I know she did a lot of lying. I was beta but she was dishonest since day 1. About almost everything, alas I'm now free

[–]1Red_Pill_Brotherhood2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You're acting insecure and weak. When a woman deletes convos and lies, it's never a good sign. She is doing shady stuff and if she held you in high esteem she wouldn't be sending heart emojis to other guys and replying then deleting stuff.

You need to dump her. "This isnt working for me anymore. We're done. Best of luck." and ghost. Then go work on frame, OI, abundance and read up on mateguarding and avoiding insecure behaviors.

[–]muricanwerewolf13 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Mate guarding behavior. You’ve demonstrated she should be branch swinging by feeling the need to check up on her.

The appropriate response to “you can look at my phone if you want to” is “why” and looking at her like she’s the dumbest person in the world.

Fact is, you demonstrated that not only are your boundaries in the relationship that of a deeply insecure person, but that your reaction to breaking those boundaries is the contemptible act of dumping your emotional purse into her lap.

So anyway what should you do? You should leave her fucking phone alone, and never “confront her” with “aboo bby you’re talking to guysss”. You either break up with her, or you demote her to hookup while you go out and do your own thing if you think she’s not giving you the attention you deserve. Your real problem is your insecurity though. That’s a whole nother can of worms you probably can’t fix while in a relationship.

[–]deathhandmachiavelli6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Stop being so insecure and stop monitoring her phone.

If she isn't acting the way you want her to, its because YOU are not attracting her and inspiring her. No amount of mate guarding and cell phone monitoring is going to accomplish that.

I disagree with the guys who say to "next" her. The next girl will do the same thing to you. There are no "unicorns" but a woman can and will be faithful to you if YOU are alpha enough.

The key to the occasion is YOU. Its not this girl, its YOU. YOU are not inspiring enough attraction out of her for her to act exactly the way you want. Your insecurity is likely behind a lot of this.

Girls act faithful when they know or can sense that you have lots of other options. If you are an insecure, controlling, mate guarding, beta, than they sense that you are desperate and that they can do better. THAT is what you are conveying with your insecurity.

[–]Foolishoe2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Seems fine for now. Probably not marriage material.

If you dont trust her just treat her like a FWB and look to moving on asap.

FYI you can be a piece of shit and delete messages as they come in so the fact that you found anything is shocking if shes got half a brain and is a cheater.

If you want there are some creeper apps you can put on her phone or you can assume the worst.

Up to you. Your level of crazy is what is important.

This is JUST A WOMAN so if it doesnt fit you, go find one that does.

In the meantime take care of yourself and fuck off with your worries. Take action.

[–]KidGrizz1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

She got you fucked up in the mind! Is she worth all this to you? You either going to keep allowing this shit or you will break up with her. If you don’t want to allow it tell her stop or just keep going crazy about it. Is it really worth it?

[–]failed_singingcareer1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

What? Who are you to have her delete her whatsapp conversation? Her owner?

Stop worrying about who she's talking to. If she wants to stay with you she will.

Worry about increasing your SMV, making more money, and lifting heavier weights.

The fuck is wrong with people nowadays lmao

[–]FlyingSexistPig1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

She lies to you about stuff that doesn't matter, and that bothers you. So?

Leave her.

[–]____Weabooo_V21 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link


[–]treehauz-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Everyone should have a black box. In my opinion, you gotta respect the black box. You are being anxious and weak. I would move on until a real red flag. Go lift bro. Let her chase you. Be the prize!

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2022. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter