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Ghosted my ex and she is still trying to contact me

June 1, 2020
4 upvotes

I blocked her on every platform and now she's using other phone numbers to try and call me. I answered the unfamiliar call and she says "she needs me" so I hung up and blocked that number too. It's emotionally taxing and feels wrong to treat her like this even though I know she deserves it. It's throwing me off my daily routine and interrupting the construction of my frame. If she's this desperate to contact me maybe I should talk to her?

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Post Information
Title Ghosted my ex and she is still trying to contact me
Author bigtoeneedhelp
Upvotes 4
Comments 12
Date June 1, 2020 12:52 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit /r/askTRP
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/ghosted-my-ex-and-she-is-still-trying-to-contact.670557
https://theredarchive.com/post/670557
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/guk3os/ghosted_my_ex_and_she_is_still_trying_to_contact/
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Comments

[–]Fabulous-Craft8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Going no contact, working as intended.

If she's this desperate to contact me maybe I should talk to her?

Nope. Don't worry she'll get over this just fine.

[–]RedSkeller6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Ex's will text you for months until they find a new dude who checks their boxes, no surprise here. The hard part is not contacting her back, because you will have weak moments. Iron rule is you never go back to an ex, and I've experimented with it long enough in life to tell you all the iron rules are worth following. Talking to your ex has 2 outcomes, she's either going to get the validation from you replying back and you look desperate so she poofs into air or you do end up fucking and then poof, she's gone to the next dude. Women can easily separate emotion and sex, most men cannot. The potential emotional set back is not worth it as a man, even for a quick release. It's far more useful of your time and energy to pursue new prospects entirely, and far more fulfilling. Cheers.

[–]bigtoeneedhelp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you needed this

[–]TxnyMontana2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes, the moment you contact her again, you loose.

Crying and begging is the only way dumped girls will try to get you back. Do you think that's actually how they feel? that's just a perform. Don't get fooled for this.

Keep on no contact.

[–]pilot3331 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

i did this but maybe not the best idea depending on what you want out of the situation, which you’ve yet to explain. tell her you’re only interested in meeting for meaningless sex. either she’ll get repelled or she will do it and you can fuck her and leave to demonstrate lack of care which will repel her if she’s “in love”

also put your phone on silent except for favorite contacts. it’s in the iphone settings somewhere. i do that bc i’ve been getting plates calling me when i’m on a date and rather only pick up if it’s my mom or friends calling.

[–]bigtoeneedhelp[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The goal is always sex. I ghosted her because she started getting a bit too disrespectful mentioning her new chad, complimenting him and slyly comparing him to me. Tbf she said if I got into shape like when we first met and if I were more organised like when we first met then I'd be miles more attractive than him. This bitch really thinks she's a disney princess and wants knights to fight for her. I remembered a comment talking about how chicks will use their orbiters looking for validation repair after chad treats them mean and keeps them keen. I realised she was trying to convert me into such an orbiter and blocked all contact immediately, no argument, didn't tell her why, just blocked. I just want to focus on myself and build my frame back up, but if there's sex available then I'll take it.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't know why you ghosted her in the first place, maybe you had good reasons for that. But as long as you control frame, there's no rule that says you have to ghost anyone. Sometimes, that's just inviting this sort of drama into your life (because you've given her justification to feel unfairly treated). Sometimes it's better to just say: "Call me on Thursday at 7, and we can talk it out for a bit. But after that we need to go separate ways". Even when she deserves a hard next, it might be better to go soft next (for your own sake).

[–]Vofz1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"when you first start to draw boundaries and practice selfishness after several years of being programmed towards people pleasing and codependency, you will be triggered to experience feelings of guilt or the "villain" archetype. Ignore it and proceed anyway"

[–]LilLoserFreny1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ignore her, if it gets creepy maybe put a restraining order on her annoying ass. That way you can have peace of mind. I doubt it’s gotten to that point. She is just starting drama to get her lil vejayjay aroused really. It’s a phase that shall pass.

[–]comcain0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Stay no contact. You really don't want her back, do you? She's getting banged by someone else by now.

She's trying to stir up drama for her Vitamin Drama fix. All girls need that vitamin, it's in their DNA. If you have in, she'll be using you for drama forever. Wait her out.

Cheers

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]bigtoeneedhelp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

No. She's on a pill. And she managed to send me a message through a friend. A long dramatic paragraph tl:dr she's moving on from me.

Which shows that I'm living in her head rent free because if she was actually moving on she wouldn't have bothered reaching out

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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