Look, I don't want to be a downer. There's this little boy we used to watch... it's a long story, but he's like a nephew to me. We found out his cancer came back like two weeks ago, and just found out there's nothing that can be done. He only has a few weeks left, maybe a month or two. His parents haven't told him yet.

I'm gonna be honest, I've been bawling my eyes out pretty much nonstop. I'm trying to hold it together, but it's not going great. The other day, a coworker asked me how he was doing, and it was all I could do to respond "Not great." without breaking down again.

I know it is some seriously beta-bitch behavior, but... I dunno, man. I just wish I had someone to hold me, you know? Just not feel alone. I'm on the other side of the country, so it's not like I can ask to take off work, until... "whatever", happens. I don't even have anyone to really talk to about this, and it's not like it would accomplish anything, anyways.

I dunno. Don't even know what I'm looking for. Just... I dunno. This feels like one of those times where maybe having "an actual girlfriend" would be nice.