I don't really know what to say, I get shit on by her time, and fucking time again. I PROMISE myself I won't break and text her, but every fucking time I break, every time. I love her so much. Fuck.

EDIT: To be more straight forward, how can I fix this?

I've known this girl for close to two years maybe, and we've been on and off for about 1 & 1/2 years. We started dating when we were both 17, now we're eighteen. I really love her, I genuinely enjoy spending time whith her and conversing with her. We we're about 6 months into it and she broke it off, saying she was afraid of commitment. Ok, whatever, so I let it be an she came back around. I would always ask for sexy pictures and she would never send any. So one day I get a picture from another girl in her underwear, I end up telling her and she breaks it off. I spend graduation alone, and she spent the whole night with this fucker, making out doing whatever. To top it off my best friend dropped out so graduation was literally awful. About two months after graduation she comes back and we're trying to make this work. Another two months maybe and she cuts it off, says she can't forgive me for it. So Halloween weekend I'm really upset because I assume she will go up to her friends college (she is not in school, just working) and slut it up. She had her first time with me and she was only the 3rd girl I had ever been with. I ended up making plans for Halloween after work with some good friends, she texts me and asks if she can see me. I say yes, only for a minute. I found out she fucked the kid she spent grad night with a few nights after she ended it the last time. We were at a park and I just fucking yelled, some primordial scream, I start to walk away and she says please don't go, I point at her and say, "I fucking loved you". I walked up to a tree and put my head against it, against my better judgement and every logical thought I had I went back and put my arm around her and then coddled her that night. She was fucking crying her eyes out and I was just trying to comfort her. Eventually I calm her down and she asks why I came back, and I told her it was because I love her. But I've never felt more beta, I ended up fucking her that night and felt ridiculous. She won't get back with me because she's afraid she'll hurt me again and she's still afraid of commitment, her words. And I just always end up texting her, begging her to just fight to make this relationship worse. I feel pathetic.