Hi, I've been reading a lot of TRP lately and I've been implementing in in real life. Because of this a lot in my life has changed. I started going to college. I started talking to strangers and finally I don't feel any anxiety what so ever anymore in public. I live on my Semi-own now and go to my parents every weekend. Last year i was still living with my parents and i didn't do shit. I just played video games all day and had no responsibillities whatsoever, I also did not go to school or have a job. This felt very comfortable at the time to do and looking back it didn't satisfy me, but it did feel safe and secure. This is something I've had since I was a kid. Whenever school felt uncomfortable I'd cry and love to go to my mum and cry in her shoulders. Home was a place of not being judged and being loved by my mom. Last year I decided it was time to move on, am 20 now. Since I everyday i was feeling empty. I didn't do anything and didn't achieve anything. This was also the time I discovered TRP.
I'm currently having a hard time letting go of my old me, to give some examples. At the end of every weekend I feel comfortable at my parents, I don't feel like going back to my place and a voice inside my head is telling me to just stay stop studying and play video games. No uncomfortable situations. Also a lot of doubt will start to occur in my head when I'm staying with my parents for a while. (Do I like my study, Will I pass the tests?) However these negative thoughts go away after a few days of being on my own again. Like my mind is resetting and I'm ready to smash my goals again. Also it's starting to feel wrong to make use of the "services" they provide me with.
To summarize my question: How can I finally let go of the idea of being reliant on my parents and accept the fact that I'm on my own now and that I need to set my own goals and achieve them. It's like there's a tiny stupid voice that at moments when I'm weak is telling me to just quit everything and go back to my old comfortable me, but I know that's not going to make me happy. How do I genuinely accept TRP and let go of the comfortable lies?
Sorry if the post was too long. This is just something that has been bugging me for a long time.