I’m 19. Black male, 6’3, 180lbs, can bench 225. Very lean and athletic. Dress well, groom. I am very handsome.

Started an online business during quarantine. I work for myself. Have creative hobbies. Am enrolled at my state school double majoring and have fantastic grades. Planning on transferring to an Ivy League.

By all metrics I have reached peak RP. But my life feels very empty

I look like I have a lot of friends. I am acquainted with a shit ton of people. I play up my relationships with other high value people even though I’m not very close with them. Many people respect me but few are close with me and I like very few people deep down. I have no emotional connection with them and although they are here today they could be gone tomorrow.

It’s the same with girls. Talk to many, fuck a few, care about zero.

Wish I could be closer with my family. I barely talk to my brothers and have trouble even looking at my parents although I am always respectful to them. I can’t help but see faults in them and get annoyed with them quickly, especially my father and brothers.

Maybe I am narcissistic. I fluctuate between longing for many close friendships and considering cutting off all of my friends “because I don’t need them”. I know my presence needs work as I turn tend to turn people off.

Anyone else have a similar experience and how did you overcome these setbacks