The more I grow the more I realize just how pack fuck retarded I am.

When I was a younger adult my life was full steam ahead, I was sure I’d be just fine and do amazing because I was the best and I knew everything.... I was invincible and nothing could harm me....

But now at 22 its like.....

I’m sitting here and thinking to myself, WOW real life has real serious consequences, and I truly do not know fuck about shit.....

I’m thinking about a premise, imagine you need really high grades this term to get that internship you “need” But the competition is deadly and it will cause a TON of stress to make it.... whats the best course of action....

Well you can

  1. Crash and burn through it with anxiety because you “NEED” the internship.

  2. You can be smarter, realize that even if you work at walmart you will have food water an abundance of pussy to game.... this reduces the anxiety of need but you still must struggle regardless

  3. Even smarter, is there an entirely different better path with less resistance and more rewards than the one you’re currently on.....

And all this thinking took me fucking hours to come up with some sensible solutions, but the world gives us fucking pop quizzes on the spot where you need to do something and do it now....

How can I have confidence in myself when I know full well that I’m fucking dumb. Manipulateable. Brainwashable. That it takes me hours of mental tangling to come up with an actual smart idea.