Intro:

I am here, because I struggle with the conclusion that I am apparently "too nice".

I get it: I am not the most intimidating person. With 5'9 (176cm) and 155lbs (70kg) I am probably average at best right now. On top of that I look way younger than I am. People think I am max. 18 years while I am already 23.

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To bring this information into some context:

Yesterday I was at a house party and there was one particular moment where it made "click" and I had a moment of realisation. Basically the girlfriend of the host said that we don't have any pictures together so she came over to me and we made some selfies.

After a few photos she was like "Wow, StopGaming1234 has the cutest smile ever, doesn't he?" while showing it to the other girls at the party and they agreed. She said I am such a sweet guy and she wasn't even the only girl who said it at that night.

And then it hit me: What is it about me that girls think I am "cute/sweet?" Despite my efforts to appear like this cool and laid back guy who owns it all I always hear the same stuff over and over. Don't get me wrong, I like the attention it gives me and I appreciate the fact that I get so well along with most people.

But being perceived as sweet doesn't get me laid. In the past I was the typical "nice guy" who avoided confrontation as much as possible. I was a hard peoples pleaser. I didn't have my first kiss until I found TRP. That was 2 years ago and since then I had 8 different girls from which only 2 said I am hot as fk. The rest was mostly " You are such a cute guy!".

I threw away so many opportunities with insanely beautiful girls, because I was too nice ,shy, passive whatever you name it. They rather see me as someone to meet and talk to when their unemployed guy hits them again. (I am overexaggerating, but you get the point). Or we do netflix and chill without the chill part. Their company gives me attention from other hot girls, but what does it matter when I can never close?

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I am sick of it. It's not only with girls. It goes over to other areas of my life too. People don't see me as a threat. Sometimes I don't feel taken seriously. Maybe it is because I smile too much?

You know this moment when someone enters the room and you can instantly feel his presence? This is was I strive to become. I want to approach this mostly from a behavioral point of view. I know I can improve my posture, lift more, smile less or dress better. There are people even smaller and weaker than me who get instant respect the moment they say a word. It's harder for them, but obviously possible.