How do I not ruin my metamorphosis phase of self improvement?

I was gonna go line by line and analyse all of this for you, but the final paragraph is all you need.

Obligatory: I am 17, turning 18 soon and within 1 week my high school will be over and my college will start within a few weeks(or 2 months). During this phase, I want to slaaaaaaay, slay af.

Honestly buddy, that's perfectly fine for an 18 year old. Enjoy yourself, just make sure your life doesn't become about pussy.

Before TRP, I wanted to prevent the decline but after TRP, I am trying to enjoy it and pussy is the only way I know of enjoying it.

I think this is probably because you haven't experienced real fulfilment. This is okay, you're only 18. Take some time to experience more stuff.

I have over 300+ Reddit posts saved and about 110 YouTube videos downloaded offline on becoming physically attractive, NoFap and getting a more handsome face. But I am nervous about what would happen if I achieve it.

THIS is the key part. Let's look at this in more detail.

But I am nervous about what would happen if I achieve it.

I don't think this is it. I think a large part of you doesn't want to achieve it because it's comfortable for you to be able to blame something for what you see as a lack of success.

I think the reason you feel this way is that you don't actually think any of it is going to work, because you have a fundamentally low perception of yourself.

Therefore, you find it easier to save countless posts and videos because then you're "doing something about it" and that means you can feel good briefly.

This is why women can't be your goal. You should want to get jacked because it's difficult. It's character building.

It's okay to get some validation from women and whoever else, but you have to stand upon a strong sense of value which comes from within. You create this value by doing difficult things and achieving goals.

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I still think I would show beta tendencies in front of an 8/10 because I will always consider her above myself as she will always have a higher value male than me ready to be with her so she has so many options.

See above: You don't think it'll work.

It's almost like, I am afraid of my true potential or my best version and that's why my brain uses mental masturbation as a mechanism to prevent myself from becoming my best version.

Again. I don't think you're afraid of your potential. I think you're afraid of the work that it'll take to get there. And more importantly, you're afraid that you might fail - and that'll confirm your suspicions that you're not good enough.

Key points for you:

• You're allowed to enjoy yourself too, take some time to fuck around with your friends.
• Stop looking outside for value. It comes from within.
• Audit your thoughts. Every time you think "I can't do it", ask yourself "Do I think that because I'm scared to try and fail?"

If you need any help or further clarification, let me know.

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Best of luck,

UC