I worked single mindedly toward a goal for 2.5 years and fucking FAILED AT IT when success was within reach due to some very stupid mistakes. I got very depressed over a bitch last year and lost focus, to the point that I didn’t care anymore when it counted. People knew I was grinding away at it all this time and he failure is going to be hard to explain. I am going to take one more shot at it. It will probably take another 1-2 years to save enough money to do it again, but nothing else matters.