I'm 31. I make okay money, but I've never been in good shape in my entire life. I'm strong, and I could hold my own in a fight, but realistically, how mamy people are actually getting in fights as an adult?

So, I have this problem where I literally can't even imagine what it would be like to be in shape. When I try, I feel like I'm envisioning some stranger in my place, and the distance between myself and "that guy" feels so vast, it feels like it would take me a lifetime to make it there.

Which, I know -- that shouldn't matter, I should be striving to improve myself, even if it's incremental changes.

But tonight, I dunno, it just sort of weighed on me. I felt lonely, and it was like this feeling of "there's this awesome world outside my apartment, where everyone else is having a great time, but I don't get to participate in any of that until I'm in good shape".

And it really does feel like that. I've had kind of a sad realization lately that I don't really have any friends, and that coupled with, frankly, being unattractive, has just left me feeling a little like... how do I cope these next however many years, until I do become a better man?