How do you handle guys intentionally bumping into you?

November 12, 2018
58 upvotes

I was at the gym when this guy shoulder bumped me when I was walking towards them. This guy is a gym regular(3Os, my height, not to built)and I’ve seen where he wanted to fight this old guy because he simply got on the stair master that he was using by accident along with other shit before. A hothead for sure. I don’t really let shit like that slide so I stopped turned around and told him “Are you good?” Deflecting the attention towards him. He got kinda defensive like I knew he would and started telling me how it was on accident.. blah. Yeah right. So I asked him “Then you good right.” one last time and walked away. When shit like this happens and I know it’s not accident, I addresses it, but how do YOU do it? What do you say?

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Post Information
Title How do you handle guys intentionally bumping into you?
Author HumptyDumptyFellHard
Upvotes 58
Comments 38
Date November 12, 2018 5:10 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit /r/askTRP
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-you-handle-guys-intentionally-bumping-into.53937
https://theredarchive.com/post/53937
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/9wb3d4/how_do_you_handle_guys_intentionally_bumping_into/
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Comments

[–]DoctorObby78 points79 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think you handled that perfectly

[–]hiddenpersona75 points76 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Stay calm. Also one good trick is to roll your shoulders inwards as you are crossing someone. That makes a powerful stance and less chance of losing balance. If you open up your chest towards them as you are passing thefe is a higher chance the shoulder bump will feel more powerful and make you lose balance also it’s more submissive. Always keep your frame and own the space. Usually shoulder bumps are a shit test between men and it won’t lead to something serious until one of the guys loses frame. I remember I was in a big ass empty parking lot, walking in the middle of the road straight to the store. Didn’t even step left or right, pure straight in the middle. On the other side I saw a buff black guy in a tank top, roughly my height, my weight walking down towards me from the opposite site. He was in the middle too. I looked at him, he looked at me and as we get closer to each other none of us tried to step left or right. We were literally walking towards each other in an empty ass parking lot with huge space to walk from. We end up bumping each other’s shoulders. I turned back to look at him, he stopped and looked at me too. I smirked at him, he smirked back and nodded, i nodded back and we moved on. It was more like a manly move from both of us and we both appreciated the challenge.

[–]BrutalMan420177 points178 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

did you number close

[–]KingSlapFight58 points59 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dude he's alpha AF. He fuck closed.

[–]319Skew20 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Man, I love this sub.

[–]Zafer6626 points27 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

And then you lifted each other off the ground at the same time to see who's stronger

[–]hrm089414 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

And then you woke up

[–]Thizzlebot12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is autistic as fuck

[–]HurricaneHugues6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You guys are two fucking retards. Jesus Christ. You cant make this shit up.

The security team watching the parking lot caneras were like "Hey Jim, look. Look at those 2. They're about to run into each other. Yeah. There's all this space and still. Fucking faggots man, they disgust me"

[–]Talinor0921 points22 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Wait til he’s bench then push the bar into his chest

[–]BusterVadge7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Or sit on his face and fart.

[–]InstigatingDrunk1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

drink a herbal tea the night before and ensure you shart.

[–]wanker717110 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'd just say "Stop trying to touch my dick bro"

The key is to have fun with it instead of feeling annoyed or upset

[–]okuli7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Nobody bumped into me yet, but there are some guys who try to intimidate by looking straight into eyes and walking towards me at pretending to bump into me, but at the last second they dodge by moving shoulders and avoid contact. Also I remember a guy spit on the floor in a steam room while looking in the eyes, that's another way to intimidate people.

Unfortunately, there are bullies in the gym. I've never contacted management because it's impossible to prove, there are no cameras and they do that when there's nobody else around. It would be my word against his, and those cowards would deny everything. Most people are fine, there's one guy who seems to be angry at everyone, he always walks at the center of walkways with asshole look on his face. Hopefully, management will weed him out some day.

[–]ChadTheWaiter1002 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dam what fuckin gym do you go to? I work out in the hood and I’m dyel. I’ve never had any issues.

One guy tried to flex on me in front of his girl. He was about the same as me but maybe 10 years older. He came up to me and said something. I took my headphones out. He said “Ima need to use that machine. You stole my machine.” I said I’ve got 2 sets left and put my headphones in. He kept talking so I laughed and said “you can work in with me if you want” he said “naw I’m just joking bro.” Put my headphones back on and finished.

[–]SalporinRP7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wow do people really bump into other people on purpose at the gym? What a loser. I've seen it happen at bars and stuff but that's usually because of the alcohol factor.

I think you handled it well. No need to escalate things with some hotheaded douchebag.

If he does it again just report him to management.

[–]BrutalMan42018 points19 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

i usually ask if theyre tryin to fuck honestly. why else would they hit on me like that

[–]MarvelousWhale18 points19 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

"You wan sum dick?"

[–]CharlesChadworth9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

"Lemme smash?"

[–]StandardDeparture 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

ayyy bby you wan sum uggs n ipad?

[–]HumbleTrees2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm going to caveat this with the fact that I'm prone toward agressive behaviour when people give me shit. Free up in a country where you stand up for yourself or you get shot, mugged, or stabbed on a whim.

This happened to me this week on the subway. All queing for stairs down the the subway when done asshole tries to jump a queue of about 15 people by shoving Infront of me right at the top of the stairs. It's a one person wide set of stairs. I put my arm out and told him there's a queue and walked in front of him. He didn't say nothing. I get to the bottom of the stairs and he literally charges into me, acting like he's rushing. I grabbed his jacket and threw him into the wall to my right. He shit himself a new asshole. Then you could see his face change and try to challenge me. Before he could say a word I shouted "the fuck you doing you cunt". And then he said I need to calm down. I told him I'm not calming down. He then stares me out and moves towards me. I dropped my coat and just calmly told him "make my fucking day and do something you little prick". He walked off hurriedly.

I don't suggest or recommend this sort of approach because I land myself in a lot of shit, but it's so fucking ingrained now and, try as I might, this shit happens a lot still. Far fewer than I used to, but far more than the average person.

You did the right thing. Also I would have had a calmer reaction in my own gym, I suspect.

[–]Peter_B_Long2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You handled it well. There was this large black guy using like 4 machines. I think I hopped on one of them I’m not 100% sure. After my first set I decided to change the song on my phone while I rested. About 30 seconds passed until this guy goes up the cable I’m using and approaches it like if he’s going to change the grip. All while I’m standing like 3 feet away. I go up to him and tell him I’m using it. He mumbles something with some attitude and walks away. I pull out my earphones and reply with, “what did you say?” With his back turned he mumbles again, “are you gonna use the machine or are you gonna be on your phone.” I barely heard his half ass attempt to speak a sentence. I didn’t even respond I just laughed at him.

What was really retarded on his part was that he was trying to superset 4 machines and he was using his headphones to talk on the phone the whole time. I think I took one of the cables he was using but of course he didn’t bring that up.

[–]ChadTheWaiter1003 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I workout at a gym in the hood. I’m a Hispanic man. I think I look Hispanic but Hispanics say I look white. Whites say I look Hispanic. Idk what blacks consider me as.

A juiced up black guy came and tried to intimidate me with the old “how many sets you got left?” I held my frame and said 3-4. I really only had 2 left. He said ok I said you can work in with me if you want. And that was that. He was respectful and we helped each other switch the weights out.

It was funny that this mother fucker was huge, and he wasn’t fat either, and he barely lifted more than me. I have very good form and he did too but he barely lifted more than me, if that at all. Kind of mind blowing since I look dyel.

[–]derrtderr7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You pay what like $50ish/month for a gym membership? That’s a decent amount of money. I would go straight to management with something like that.

It’s not a high school locker room. If I’m paying to be there, I have zero qualms about taking legal action against a thug like that.

[–]MrBowlfish0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Whatever you do, just let it slide. Who cares if he and everyone in the gym think you’re a big pussy? Does that ruin your chances at a successful life? Don’t get involved. What is to be gained? Nothing to gain. Lots to lose in a confrontation. It’s just not important so forget about it completely.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Get over it and move on with your day. Nothing to throw a fit over

[–]HumptyDumptyFellHard[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It wasn’t a fit. Something didn’t sit right when me and I addressed it in a calm yet, authoritative manner.

[–]cenie0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

By being aware of my surroundings and not getting bumped into in the first place.

[–]HumptyDumptyFellHard[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

So I’m going to keep moving out of his way just to avoid confrontation?

[–]cenie0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

From your OP it sounds like it happened all of one time. How many times are you expecting to bump into this guy? You broke frame over a little bump, get over it.

[–]HumptyDumptyFellHard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

How did I break frame? Confronting/addresses something is breaking frame?

[–]sorryforthelifestory0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I say no homo immediately, physically touching a man in any way could easily be gay and you can miss me with that shit.

[–]masterduelistky0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I've just stopped giving it much any thought. I live in Tokyo now, and between trains, buses, and how narrow all the sidewalks are in general, it's just best not to give it any thought, unless the person has went out of their way to show they're just being an asshole.

[–]HumptyDumptyFellHard[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I can understand in a busy area like you said. In a train, subway, narrow sidewalk. This doesn’t apply here. He’s basically a hothead at the gym and I know for a fact he was trying to be “macho” with me when he had all the space to walk and avoid any confrontation.

[–]masterduelistky1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I gotcha, yeah in that case than I feel you handled it totally well. Assholes gonna asshole.

[–]buttgoogler0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Shoulder-bumping people in your 30s is fucking tragic.

[–]CapIshmael0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

He wants to fuck you

[–]ChadTheWaiter100-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you’re in 30s there is no sense in back in forth with “you good”. No one has done this to me since high school but even in high school I responded with- “you got a fuckin problem?” In a threatening manor. They backed down of course.

But if you do this, you really have to be ready for all outcomes. I always keep a knife or a pistol on me. Just In case of an obvious mismatch.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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