I mean the escalation ladder. Roughly speaking, touch her arms/shoulder -> hold her hand -> kiss her -> grab her breasts or her butt. It's supposed to be in that order, climbing the ladder not too fast, so as to build comfort and not scare her off.

I met this 22yo HB7 on Tinder last November when I was super beta. I kissed her at the end of date 1 and we spent most of date 2 making out and not doing much else. Since I was unemployed at the time, both dates consisted of me taking a bus to the mall she worked (real estate agent) and hanging out with her during her one-hour lunch break.

Come late December and I decided to start dating a different girl, so I stopped talking to this one. She initiated conversation a few times after that, and I responded, but eventually she gave up and we never talked to each other again since late December.

Cut to this week. I broke up with my LTR and decided to send HB7 a bait. Why not right, worst that can happen is she says no. And I was 70% sure I'd come off as a creep or weirdo, but lo and behold she took it hook line and sinker, and responded positively. We've been talking consistently for the last few days, and she talks like she's keen on going on a date. A real date this time.

My questions are:

  • How is escalating any different when I've already made out with this girl (but haven't touched her boobs/ass)? Do I treat this like a first date where I just met her? Do I go through the same ladder, but perhaps climb it faster? Do I ignore her ladder and kiss her and hold her hand from the get go?

  • She hasn't asked through text, but if she does ask during the date, should I tell her the reason why it didn't work out between us? Should I answer "I actually started dating a different girl exclusively, but it ended up not working out, and I enjoyed hanging out with you so I figured I'd reach out to you"?