I was reminiscing at failed attempts with girls to see where things went wrong. What i noticed was that the common denominator from all these experiences was a lack of escalation. For example, last semester i had this nice blond over to my room. She came over and just wanted to relax, so i put on a little music and just started to talk. But I was unable to close the deal with her, I could not seem to be able to escalate things with her. It's not that she was not interested its that i didnt know how to increase tension.

Another time I had a girl in my room and the same thing happened. She came over and I put on a little music, we talk for a bit but nothing was happening.

This is kind of hopeless, I know what I am doing wrong but i just cant seem to think of a way to fix this. So back to the question, how can i escalate things with a girl from talking to kissing to having sex?

One of my fears is coming across as desperate.