Plate 2 is a kind of experiment, I try not to text back and forth too much because it ends with me waiting and draining my energy. So I explicitly tell her I can only text on nights, and can't on most weekdays. We're still trying to balance out this certain neediness and she does know that I train and talk to other women. I train with her too but she lives at least 3 hours away, she doesn't mind driving to my area though, and I can often carpool back to her lodging for mini-vacations.

Plate 1 is pretty much the best situation, though the majority of my main acquaintances, in the meantime, are women above their 20s, they have a solid settled lifestyle. P1 is ideal as I've known her for many years, she's sometimes like a mom to me weirdly enough. I see her at least once every 2-3 months. We don't go into personal details too much, and she understands that I'm a busy person. She's not as long-distance as P1.

I love to keep things with P2 just like with P1, the transition is just a bit different because P1's daughter hasn't even moved out yet, however, we all get along... P2 is responsible but can sometimes be needy. This is something I'm trying to manage, and things like phone sex or even simple video calls help replenish things. But I feel like I need to keep updating them or sending them something new, it can sometimes take a lot of my time and energy.

My question is, and particularly to anyone who plates with older women, what are some ways you figured out that helped with the dynamics of it all? How did you balance giving rewards and getting attention? And when you suspect she might be getting bored or suspicious, was it time to just move on? Did you ever put in specialties where you both grow together? (For example, me being a trainer, her always needing such commodities = endless loop of me always getting better so she can learn too). Initially, I wanted to just drop plates like P1, but this actually transitioned into a long-term or seemingly indefinite sort of thing.

Ultimately, I want a system where plates are just like P1, where they slightly know that I'm "pretty busy" but that we can always revert back to friendship refreshments (I drop-in, or she drops in, we have fun times for a week or two). And compared to plating with younger women, I'm not as stressed because I'm not often pressured to be exclusive. Are there any writings about this sort of dynamic I'm trying to look into?