Long story short, I was seeing this girl a long time ago who I got really into. We were gonna fuck on the third date, but I couldn't get it up. Initially, I thought nothing of it so I just kept going and pulled the mini me out to get sucked until it's hard and be ready for the first round. She just gave me this look of disappointment with that fake American smile that I remember to this day.
I've had sex since then, but fast forward to today. I am visiting this girl that I've already fucked once, but on the second time I kinda misread the signals and didn't fuck even though I could have. In the last minute she asks to have sex and I couldn't get it hard on the spot.
The failure to get it hard again had me spiraling out of control. I was supposed to see her a few days after that but she said she wants to come over real quick before heading off to the club. She comes over and despite hard making out and full nudity, nothing happened. There were a few instances where I got a semi, but nothing good enough to seal the deal.
I am turning to you guys because I have no idea what to do. I don't really know how to deal with the situation, and on top of that the chick I couldn't get hard for is in my social circle in my southern uni. I haven't watched porn since the first time I fucked her, if that helps.
Has anyone had to deal with this? What should I do?
TL;DR: I can't get hard and I'm not sure if the problem is mental or hormonal or just natural lack of libido. I want it gone.
[–]aguywholifts1 points [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link
Dude we’ve all been there. Happened to me last week. I played it off as best I could but obviously was disappointed. Sometimes there’s a disconnect between the mental and physical that no matter how hard you try to correct, ends up getting worse and worse the more you try. Why? Because you’re stressing about it on top of whatever pre-sex nerves and excitement you have. The stimulus is too much for your dick to handle, so it stops operating as expected until you get home and are about to go to sleep and then suddenly you’re hard as a rock.
[–]growingstronk 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]aguywholifts1 points [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
You’re in your head bro. You’re remembering what happened before and it’s sticking to you. You gotta shake it off like it’s no big deal and treat it that way in your mind. Don’t hype yourself up either when you’re about to get some pussy. So what? Bring yourself down to a level headed mind and you should draw down the performance anxiety.
[–]growingstronk 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]aguywholifts1 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
It’s normal to overhype it. You’re getting pussy, and as much as you logically know it’s not a big deal, as a straight man, pussy is pretty high up on our list of desires.
But overhyping it tends to lead to unfortunate circumstances, like not being able to keep a hard on. Happens to me and attempting to fix it only worsens it. You gotta accept defeat and try again organically later. Remind yourself that you aren’t special for it. There’s millions of guys who are balls deep in that moment.
That’s generally what works for me.
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