I definitely need clarification on Agree and Amplify...

LeGrandDiableBlanc · 2014-11-14T16:17:39+00:00

How do you know which shit-tests require AnA?

Tests come in usually one of two forms. The first form is what is commonly called a shit test, and it is where a women will somehow try and push a guys buttons to get him to overload. If he overloads, becomes emotional, and loses frame, he fails the test. If he doesn't, he passes. So, in these situations you can agree and amplify, ignore the behavior, or flip the pressure and start pushing her buttons (in a fun way).

What are some examples of AnA?

The simplest example is,

She: You're an asshole!

You: I know (smirk).

A complicated example:

She: You never take me out anymore.

You: Yeah. (Playfully) In six weeks I might not even talk to you anymore.

An even more complicated example.

She: It was really rude of you not to come to my sister's birthday party.

You: You're right, I just didn't have the time or motivation.

What exactly is the purpose of AnA?

The point is that she is trying to get you to show her emotionally subservient behavior under a veiled threat of some sort. Usually the threat is her potentially leaving you due to being unhappy. It's usually a case of, "I am unhappy about x, and I am implying that you do y, or else."

You show her that you are strong enough of a man not to be swayed by these petty emotional interactions, that your life is stable enough such that her emotional thrashing around isn't going to cause her whole world to crumble if she invests emotionally in you--because you're the going to be the unbreakable pillar at the center of it.

On the other hand if you're interested in LTRs at all, you will find girls also will throw out security tests too. They'll say something like, "You don't find me attractive anymore." If you treat the question seriously, she's going to assume she is correct and will feel like shutting off emotionally out of self preservation in the event you leave her. The proper response in these instances is to, again, not take the test seriously, but emphasize comforting characteristics. I like to just take them into my arms while smiling gently. It conveys that a. everything is fine and you still like her plenty, and b. that again you are so unshakable in your position that she needn't worry about it faltering.

1NV0K3R · 2014-11-14T15:10:32+00:00

Any test can be resolved with AnA or Amused Mastery. The point is to diffuse the tension by letting her know her statement is ridiculous and you know this.
Its too early for any of the top of the head, but there are threads upon threads with examples.
You aren't claiming to agree with anything, you are simply acknowledging her statement and responding within your frame, which should be cocky/humorous "I see through your bullshit" mentality.

Essentially, these tools require the correct frame first and foremost otherwise you cannot use them as they should.

Gogo4u · 2014-11-14T15:32:26+00:00

It seems that you're stopping after the agree aspect and tossing in a ton of sarcasm. The point isn't to come off as an angsty teen but to deflect questions/comments while showing aloofness and confidence, even a little superiority. Especially effective if you can make it funny.

Think of AnA as 'old faithful', it can be used as a retort for pretty much any shit test. Obviously it works better on some but it is extremely versatile. Imo, its best used when you need to dismiss something as ridiculous or to shut down a line of questioning. You're basically saying "what you're talking about bores me, what else ya got?"

Examples:
GIRL - "You seem popular, how many girls have you been with"

YOU - "All of them. Every - damn - one."

GIRL - "Jessica's boyfriend is so good to her. He bought her xyz"

YOU - "You should totally go steal him from her, I could use some quiet around here"

GIRL - "Wow, nice car. What do you do for a living?"

YOU - "I'm a bull fighter. You have no idea how hard it is to get them to wear boxing gloves"

GIRL - "OMG you are such an asshole!"

YOU - "Damn straight. I'm actually state champion 3-years running"

TSLlol · 2014-11-14T15:23:36+00:00

AnA amplifies whatever the person you're talking to says to a ridiculous level, making a joke out of it, to show that you are not affected by what they are saying. Because you don't give a shit about what they think about you, since you're above them.

Opioidus · 2014-11-14T15:32:00+00:00

Anytime someone tries to put you down the best way to respond is to agree and amplify to absurdity. It is encouraged because it demonstrates you are so emotionally mature that you haven't been affected by the remark and that you hold yourself in a higher status relative to your attacker, since we do get offended when someone with a higher status insults us. It's also a very handy and easy way to deal with shit-tests from both genders.

You chew too fast -> Yeah, I'm the current world champion of hot-dog eating.

You're always sitting in the park ->Didn't you know? I'm homeless. that one bench is actually my living room!

Men are pigs -> OMG, I can't believe this. What do you have against pigs? They're so cute.

Again, there's a thin line between self-deprecation and A&A, actually I think self-deprecation is Betas failed attempt at A&A. A simple rule of thumb is when the attack is overt and hostile it's impossible to defuse it with A&A, when it's subtle and covert however, it's very effective.

What exactly is the purpose of AnA? What is it trying to solve, and how does it do that? A recent post said to deal with feminism by AnA; I don't get how claiming I agree with misandristic beliefs solves anything. It seems more passive aggressive - like a teenager just fed-up with their parents. "Yep, uhuh, yeah mom! I toooootally agree. I should try out for chess club!"

It doesn't matter if it sounds passive aggressive, women love sarcasm. But you seem to lack imagination in this example. A good A&A about feminism could be :

I love feminism, if women have jobs and money, they can pay for all the dates.
It's only because of Feminism that sexually liberated women are able to enjoy the company of men like me.
Feminism is great, girls buy all my drinks now!

alreadyredschool · 2014-11-14T15:25:51+00:00

Imagine you claim something stupid and someone AnAs. You will find out for yourself that it is bullshit. Disagree and amplify or minify.

mister_barfly75 · 2014-11-14T15:26:44+00:00

First of all, the example you gave was a wrong one for TRP. It wasn't agree and amplify, it was agree only. Secondly, it was given from the position of a petulant child against a person of authority wheras in a relationship it should be the other way around - you're in charge, she's the petulant teenager.

Anyway, the benefit of AnA is that by blowing up her statement to hyperbolic proportions it reveals how ridiculous her argument is and nips the shit-test in the bud. Or it could be a means of telling her that things could be a fuckload worse so stop complaining.

You can find an article on it here although I don't necessarily agree with some of the examples he gives.

Bonus tip: don't bother using Reddit search, it's useless. Use Google and finish your query with "site:reddit.com"

Alkyman · 2014-11-14T16:09:13+00:00

You already know what agree and amplify is. You don't have enough outcome independence to have confidence in using it. It takes a higher degree of outcome independence to really use agree and amplify. This will help lessen the fear of actually trying it out. Increase outcome independence=new shit test tool in the tool bag.

Agree and amplify is power talk. You are saying you see through her bullshit without actually saying that. The fear losing a girl because you say you see through her bullshit is the same fear before using agree and amplify for this reason. Outcome independence gets you to the point where you don't care what she does when you tell her you see through her bullshit using power talk.

Title	I definitely need clarification on Agree and Amplify...
Author	Sketti-Os
Upvotes	2
Comments	9
Date	November 14, 2014 2:54 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2madmx/i_definitely_need_clarification_on_agree_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/i-definitely-need-clarification-on-agree-and.143670 https://theredarchive.com/post/143670