I feel shitty

February 4, 2019

Recently separated, 34, lifting, discovered RP Theory about a year and a half ago, been practicing a mostly RP mindset ever since. After my separation I had several women, about 5 have turned into plates, where 1 was my go to. She was a great plate. Always DTF, swallows, submissive, treats me out. We go out have fun dates (which is what I want to do). She knew from the get go what my intentions were. Over 3 months she was breaking though, and I found myself in a situation I didn’t quite anticipate. I gave her exclusivity before I was ready and recognized my blue pill beta reared his ugly ass self again. I called her last night and told her I can’t give her what she’s looking for and broke off the exclusivity.

I woke up this morning feeling like shit, what the fuck is this? Why do I feel like shit? I want to work on my mission and fuck more women, but damn it was nice having her in my life. This is probably the first time I have ever dumped someone I actually liked still.

Guidance needed.

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Post Information
Title I feel shitty
Author nothestrawberrypatch
Upvotes 102
Comments 37
Date February 4, 2019 3:41 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit /r/askTRP
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/i-feel-shitty.217839
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/an2twq/i_feel_shitty/
Similar Posts

[–]handfulofnuts169 points170 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Living the life you want to live is hard. It necessarily comes with moments like this. It’s part of the territory when you decide to prioritize YOUR happiness over other people.

Deep down though, what are you upset about? You might be missing out on some good pussy. But that’s it.

I had a girl like this about a year ago. Best sex of my life. I mean miles better than anyone else, and I’ve had some fucking good sex. I may not ever find sex that good again (although I might). Sweet, fun to hang out with, etc. But it got to the point that I knew it wasn’t going to work out how I wanted, so I dropped her. It hurt. I was curled up, listening to sad songs and all that shit. But it was the right decision for my happiness.

Same when I told my ex wife it was over. By far the hardest thing I’ve ever done. After the conversation, once I was alone, I broke down scream-crying.

At the end of the day though, there are other women out there. Women who are compatible with the way YOU want to live your life. Cry over this girl, but then GET over her. Your happiness is the game here, and if she obstructs that, GET RID OF HER.

To paraphrase Patrice, you’re Superman, surrounded by Kryptonian women who make you feel like Clark Kent. But there are women out there who will make you feel like Superman.

If she’s not that girl, NEXT. That’s one of the most powerful tools you have in your arsenal. Not because it gives you power over women, but because it gives you power over YOUR LIFE.

You’ll get through this. Feeling like shit after something like this is normal. Don’t take it as an indication that you’re doing something wrong, because you’re not. Living life the way you want to live it is hard.

[–]nothestrawberrypatch[S] 20 points21 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Excellent reply thanks man

[–]Helmet_Icicle1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Growth is not a pain-free process. Keep at it.

[–]z2a1-93 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

That’s one of the most powerful tools you have in your arsenal.

Right on!

[–]Hambone_Malone2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is the advice right here!!

[–]leave1onread2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Love this. I think I needed to hear this as well. Thanks

[–]looneyniggabunny0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

What I needed , thanks man

[–]SalporinRP24 points25 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sometimes a plate breaking can be a shitty thing. You don't have to be an emotionless rock about it.

The main thing to realize is to just not let yourself get into a rut because of this. Keep hitting the gym and doing your thing. It will pass eventually.

[–]T-P-T-W-P14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Take what you want from TRP and leave what you don’t, it’s your life. Over the past three years, I’ve had periods of several good plates + ONS’s at a time and periods of exclusivity with one female. The exclusive ones are always very attractive/submissive and make things easy for me like coming over whenever I want, cleaning, cooking etc. Essentially they have to earn it in full. Obviously there is the big downside of having only one pussy and the likelihood that you will become more beta, but you can definitely maintain RP status if you’ve got your shit right. When I have had a good thing going with one chick, I tend to be productive in my work and education because they meet my needs and I don’t need to get out and about as much. I still put in a lot of work to maintain my SMV/wider social circle and am fully confident I can go bang sluts at any point, but I don’t always want to when I can be productive in my life and come home late from a workout or business meeting to a 8.5 grilling a steak for me after she’s already got my laundry going. I certainly do like banging sluts, but I don’t like it enough to interfere with things that I deem to be more important. If she understands you’re still the man and you’ve correctly vetted her, you can make it work for a period of time. But you have to stay alpha, stay improving, and don’t be one of the dudes who grants exclusivity to some average chick who thinks she’s the shit and is gifting you the glory of her meh puss. That’s the biggest beta move out and it gets made all the time and may be the downfall of our gender.

[–]nothestrawberrypatch[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks. Great advice.

[–]red_philosopher7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, it's going to happen from time to time. She didn't do anything that warranted being broken up with, you simply weren't ready for that stage and that's not her fault. Feeling bad for something like that is understandable. It's nothing you did, nothing she did, and you grow and move on.

[–]INNASKILLZ2K188 points9 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Not sure the details, but you could have handled 'the talk' better? Not sure if you could have dangled the carrot, to possibly keep her around.

But abundance. We HAVE to put what we truly want above pussy.

[–]nothestrawberrypatch[S] 5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I understand that but I was very clear from our first conversation and throughout the last 3 months what my intentions were. She slowly made her into my frame and I don’t know how.

[–]INNASKILLZ2K184 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Of course it can happen, with the good ones.

Did you even mention that you would consider an ltr, if someone proved themselves worthy? That's a way to dangle a carrot and possibly keep them around for a bit longer.

[–]nothestrawberrypatch[S] 4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

She asked once in the very beginning “I don’t want to do this unless this will turn into an LTR”. I said “of course, any one I date could potentially be an LTR in 6 months or a year, it’s too soon to tel right now though”

[–]INNASKILLZ2K186 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

ah, ok. Well, plates have to fall at some point.

Maybe it's just the old BP in you, and the old oneitis rearing it's head. As I said, we have to do what is ultimately right for us.

[–]nothestrawberrypatch[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks man

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

LTR /= exclusive

committed /= monogamous

Be cautious with these words, they are commonly misused by monogamists and are packed full of unspoken expectations.

You did the right thing staying open, IMO. Love and exclusion don't belong in the same sentence.

[–]Thinkingard4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Don't go back on what you decided, you will get harder and it will be easier to maintain frame next time so you avoid this mental anguish from happening again.

[–]rugged794 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You got a lot of good advice here.

You still have to read more material. The guys giving you the advice know how to deal with the shit you're going through better than you because they read more than you and took the time to figure it out as well.

Even as logical creatures, men are emotional. Difference between us and women is we tend to try to use our emotions rather than be controlled by them.

Doesn't mean that a guy doesn't cry his eyes out when his oneitis rejects him. Doesn't mean when he leaves a girl, he doesn't feel anything, even if a girl was a plate.

Diagnosis: Play 80's rock power ballads while drinking and smoking in a dark corner, while yelling out the song lyrics, while blubbering and crying like a bitch. Then get over it.

[–]BurnieSlander3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Sounds like you punished her because you were being a bitch. Doesn’t really make sense does it?

[–]nothestrawberrypatch[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link


[–]acaliforniaburrito2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

do what makes you happy, dont try to stick to some blueprint you found on the internet.

[–]red_matrix1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

It’s good to practice frame with your plate. I don’t usually break off a plate unless she disrespects me in some way. If she’s fun and flirty, what’s the logic in dropping her? Let them walk away if they want an LTR (some will, she didn’t seem willing to do this). It sounds like you lost frame and rather than get it back you just ended it (run away from your problems).

[–]nothestrawberrypatch[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I just don’t want to be exclusive. That’s where I lost frame was allowing her insecurities control my decision. I didn’t know any other way to regain frame in this situation other than drop the label.

[–]red_matrix3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

In the future just stick to your guns, let her leave. If a girl is serious about an LTR, she will leave, but most gals want you and not the LTR. At some point you will want the LTR too if you trust her, nothing wrong with that. Even though unicorns don’t exist, there is still some rare LTR material out there. Just don’t lose frame in an LTR - she will leave you. If she comes back just practice frame, hold strong, she could still be a plate. Hopefully you learned something from this. And you’re only human, you’re going to feel bad for ending a relationship (we all do).

[–]drsherbert1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Don’t ever drop a plate. Let them drop off on their own.

[–]FlyingSexistPig1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

A comforting lie is nicer than the harsh reality.

The comforting lie is that this woman deserved your exclusivity. That she is a unicorn.

[–]jenovajunkie1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Why can't you keep working on your mission, yet keep her around?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have some thoughts, but I'm not going to give you any advice rn. You did the right thing, and this feeling too shall pass

[–]0io-1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Just because you're not exclusive doesn't usually mean you can't see her anymore. You know, from how you describe her, she sounds like a great girl who really wants to please you. Why don't you just go for some threesomes with her and some other girls? From how you describe her she'd probably be up for it. Just tell her (truthfully) that you don't deal with exclusivity very well but you can't be dishonest and don't want to cheat on her. Of these 5 other plates, at least one would gladly fool around with both of you at the same time. The worst that can happen is she says no. And there's no way you're going to come off as beta suggesting threesomes with this girl who loves to please you. Give it a try, you might surprise yourself. If she's really that into you she'll go for it.

I think you feel shitty because you demoted a girlfriend who didn't do anything wrong, just because you started developing beta bad habits.

[–]nothestrawberrypatch[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

One red flag with her is her jealousy. I’m not sure if she could handle that! Good suggestion tho

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just about everybody has jealousy, even polyamorists. It is EXTREMELY rare to be jealousy free. Some deal with their jealousy issues by getting to the root cause of said jealousy and doing inner work (why am I insecure in this relationship? What do I fear?) while others (monogamists, mostly,) place boundaries around the relationship so as to protect themselves from encountering that emotional state.

Jealousy by itself isn't a red flag, though. Moreso the potential red flag is in what she does about that jealousy.

[–]rugged791 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is trainable out of your plates to a degree. Get with The Black Phillip Show on YouTube and you'll see how to use logic to stop a bitches emotional judo.

[–]chazthundergut0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Next time wait longer to give her your exclusivity. Try to stay in the honeymoon period for as long as possible

[–]ValorElite0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

“Gave exclusivity before I was ready”

Sounds like something a woman would say. Be a man and make better choices

[–]FereallyRed0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Blue still dripping out. It happens.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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