I was bullied as a kid, it made me beta bitch.

HushBabyGirl · 2016-12-07T22:46:44+00:00

Seriously, get your hands on a copy of What to Say When you Talk To Yourself by Shad Helmstetter as soon as you can. Amazon link here. No need to thank me when it changes your life. All good! :)

randomperson123321 · 2016-12-08T01:27:46+00:00

I was also bullied at school, became stronger, ended up being THE alpha guy at my next school. Nowadays at much older age the power dynamics in my life are situational, not bottom neither top.

There is a simple explanation for the situation you were in:

The others were feeling threatened by you. It means that putting the bullies in their place would exponentially increase your value to the people around you and especially yourself.

You misunderstand what happened in your case. You were not made "beta" by being bullied. You were bullied cause you were a threat to the social structure. Your choice was to not put the bullies in their place. THAT was what made you "beta".

MattyAnon · 2016-12-08T01:52:54+00:00

How the fuck do i rewire myself and build true confidence?

Ok... this shit will be a struggle, but you'll get past it. But it will take time. It's hard, but it's possible.

You can't just rewire yourself. It takes a lot of time to act and especially to feel your new (and much higher) social standing.

Keep battling away at it and you'll get there. You need to learn to live your own life by your own values. You're a new you now, you get to live your adult life. Do what the high SMV people do, study this shit hard. You'll make it. good luck!

smile_machine · 2016-12-07T22:38:12+00:00

I wish I could give you advice. I'm in my 30s and in some ways it will always be with you. I always coped by immersing my self in hobbies. By doing that I met people that helped build my self esteem.

That stuff will always stay with you, but I think it can help you be a better person.

Drippyskippy · 2016-12-07T23:56:54+00:00

Being 20 means you have made it through the worst of it (at least for me). The thing to remember is typically the bullies are the ones with the real problems and feel the need to put others down because of their own issues in their life. Unfortunately, you were picked because you stood out (small physical stature, looked different, nerdy ect.) not because you're a worthless or an unlikable person.

How the fuck do i rewire myself and build true confidence?

If your family still bullies you, you need to minimize contact with them. Move out on your own if at all possible. Develop hobbies and find people with common hobbies and befriend them. Follow TRP's self improvement methods (lifting, dressing nice, developing social skills). Making friends and improving yourself will greatly help your self-esteem and confidence.

As /u/smile_machine stated, this stuff will stay with you. I'm in my 30s as well and I still notice the lingering doubt because of my experiences earlier in my life. It takes time and effort to get your self-esteem and confidence back, but its possible.

vicious_armbar · 2016-12-08T05:19:38+00:00

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Yashugan00 · 2016-12-07T23:17:45+00:00

Stop listening to other people for starters. No one has any definitive answers, can tell you what is right for you. You have to find that out for yourself. The quicker you find your own path and start working on your own goals , the quicker you'll find a slice of your own happiness.

[deleted] · 2016-12-08T00:46:33+00:00

If you ask yourself why you were bullied and correct those faults, you'll gain confidence.

Take up some hobbies and really work on yourself and being whatever version of yourself you want to be. When I was really young I was always bullied because I was obese. I lost the weight and the confidence came.

king_of_red_alphas · 2016-12-08T06:12:15+00:00

I was the same way. I just grew into the philosophical position of the joker. I do what I want and say what I want and get away with it because im known for it by now. Just figure out what makes you tick and follow it.

lozboss · 2016-12-08T11:13:38+00:00

You start with yourself. You build someone you are proud of.

You do what you enjoy (sport etc), you lift and build a body you're proud of, you build NEW friendships with people who give back.

YOU BUILD A LIFE YOU ARE PROUD OF. You slowly start bit by bit to love yourself more.

Billee_Boyee · 2016-12-08T11:45:23+00:00

You need to get out of the house and prove to yourself that they are wrong. Climb a mountain, run a marathon, earn a pile of money, or at your age, just go out and mash tons of pussy.

I was raped (the first time) on the eve of my 6th birthday. I was sexually, physically, and emotionally assaulted for years by a non-parent family member. Huge problems in school despite my 160 IQ and finally quit on my 16th birthday.

Everyone told me what a piece of shit loser I was turning out to be.

I was a wreck in my early 20's. I moved to the other side of the continent to start my life as far away from my childhood as possible.

Ten years later I hired my dad to work for me.

Today I'm 49. I've climbed dozens of Mountains, I retired at 44, I had sex with 11 women in one night. I own a beautiful home on acreage. I can play the crap out my guitar and women dig that.

My abuser, however is 100 lbs overweight and a severe alcoholic, teaching high school science in an inner city shithole. He has three kids he never sees but pays a ton of child support for.

Who really won there?

Needless to say, at a family gathering a couple of years ago I made sure to rub it in, like bleach into an open wound.

Set yourself an Olympian level goal. Work your ass off. Attain the goal.

Then be a gracious winner.

1Maverick1 · 2016-12-08T15:16:53+00:00

You only let people effect you by actually letting whatever it is they do/say effect you. The best thing I think one can do is move away from all the people you grew up around (family included) and start anew. Don't think about it as you'll never go back. However, being out in the world on your own requires you to rely totally upon yourself and when faced with that challenge you use your instincts and prove to yourself and the world that you are made to live in it. When you find out who you truly are and accept it, you can build more of yourself from there.

Title	I was bullied as a kid, it made me beta bitch.
Author	delux_bg
Upvotes	12
Comments	24
Date	December 7, 2016 10:29 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5h31j4/i_was_bullied_as_a_kid_it_made_me_beta_bitch/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/i-was-bullied-as-a-kid-it-made-me-beta-bitch.78756 https://theredarchive.com/post/78756