I'm a pathological liar, and probably a complete psychopath. Made some changes but need tough love and advice

December 5, 2018
67 upvotes

I grew up in an uber religious family where I quickly learned that lying was the only way to avoid strict beatings. That's how it started.

Then a parent died from cancer at 8 years old and I quickly started lying more to avoid questions about it. If a mate said "can your mom drive us to x, y, x" I quickly lied that she wasn't available because of a business trip, vacation, busy, etc. Lied like this for 10+ years.

Cheated on every test in highschool. Lied to everyone about everything I could to make myself look "cool" when I was petrified of a social interaction. I have memories of girls smiling and saying hi and I literally flipped them off in an involuntary movement of my body because of social anxiety.

I grew to become really big, (6'8) and got into a sport. Ended up going to college to play it. Got brutally injured soon after and multiple surgeries later I'm back home on my ass eating oxycodone like candy and drinking alcohol like water.

Then I got a job when I healed up. Improved social skills and presentation alot. Then met this really attractive girl through the gym I went to. I literally stalked her Instagram, found out she was religious, and pretended to walk into her worship place on the correct day.

She was shocked because she thought I was a cocky party boy. She thought it was a divine revelation from a higher power that I showed up that day. I faked it all 100% and convinced them all because I'm insane. I ended up making out with her, "dated" her, ie got bubble tea, watched movies and went on sunrise hikes, etc and went to the religious building together while she talked about marriage and introduced me to her father. I lied to her about my schooling, ex girlfriends, my family, my hobbies. Almost everything because I felt like I wasn't as good as her.

Bottom line I lied to her about 99.999% of things. And I legit loved her despite my lies. So when she said that her family had to move across the country, and we had to "break up" I was broken for months.

I started watching Jordan Peterson and cleaned my room. Then I'm enrolled back in college. I lift, and have started a business 8 months ago that just became profitable. I also have another job that I work and I'm looking to start BJJ in 2019. I've read all the books, I've dropped all the drugs. But I still lie every day to almost everyone. I'm constantly in a state of anxiety of being exposed.

What should I do TRP?

Edit: I tried counseling and just couldn't bring myself to be as brutally honest as I can be anonymously here. That's my weakness. I've tried to "just stop" and I have failed each time.

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Post Information
Title I'm a pathological liar, and probably a complete psychopath. Made some changes but need tough love and advice
Author NikeSigma23
Upvotes 67
Comments 57
Date December 5, 2018 7:26 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit /r/askTRP
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/im-a-pathological-liar-and-probably-a-complete.69818
https://theredarchive.com/post/69818
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/a3a2ko/im_a_pathological_liar_and_probably_a_complete/
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Comments

[–]Dark_T10095 points96 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

It sounds like you might have some psychological issues that are beyond a bunch of bros on the internet and you may need to see a professional.

I would recommend you realize that this girl might not be here forever, most things are temporary, but thats okay.

Go read the sidebar (dont take everything you read too seriously), and dont neglect your health or your finances.

Good luck

[–]NikeSigma23 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

First thing in the AM I'll make some calls to sit down with someone. Thanks

[–]zonbie1115541 points42 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Liar!! — Oh, sorry. Good luck dude

[–]HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

He most likely lied about that too, if we're being honest here.

[–]4436106639 points40 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Bro realizing you have a problem and the will to change is a good start, I guess psychopath won’t even do that right? You just need to quit a habit, it’s like men masturbating to porn their entire lives. Won’t be easy but not impossible.

See a professional asap.

[–]no-negativity-13 points14 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Psychopaths lack empathy but still feel emotions and can analyze problems like any other human. It’s important you recognize this as a small percentage of the population is a psychopath.

For example, a man can feel bad about not feeding his dog because of how he views himself or others may view him, not because he feels empathy for the animal.

They are everywhere, and the ones who acknowledge this are socially capable of moving up the corporate ladder.

[–]aanarchist5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

He doesn't care about the damage he causes just what personal gain he can get. This is honestly the issue that's gonna start to grow is his kind are starting to infiltrate trp. It's also proof of awalt that even though he made it clear he was a degenerate the moment he stepped into that church, that woman still fucked him lmao.

[–]NikeSigma23 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Important distinction is I didnt "make it clear I was a degenerate" right as I arrived in the church. That was her initial perception based on previous experiences.

I had a carefully crafted story and plan that her, her church community and family completely believed. Initially based on my interactions with her, I was the "cocky party boy" because I've been reading RP for too long and that shaped my mannerisms.

[–]aanarchist0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Your cocky party boy "mannerism" is making it clear that you are a degenerate, the fact that it was a "carefully crafted plan" is cringe worthy at best. The fact that they ate it all up is just a sign of the times, too much beta in the circle you infiltrated. Anyone with even a little bit of self esteem, awareness and mental health would be extremely wary of you and catch on to you within 5 minutes, simply put beta behaviors like what you described only work around beta males and insecure women, alphas would run you out of the villiage. The reason you're struggling with honesty is because you know everything I said is true, you are the kind of person that no sane person would deal with or tolerate except to use you for utility, and rightfully so. Even worse is you make it true through your actions not just through what you are on the inside, by acting out these infantile schemes of yours. Inauthenticity and deceit quintessential beta male behavior. You might not be able to change this as you seem to be very ok being this way or maybe you can't even change it, some people are too deeply ingrained with their beta habits and don't have enough incentive to change(especially considering how deceit tends to be externally rewarded).

Make no mistake you have to figure out for yourself which parts of trp are just beta nonsense(your cocky funny act that you learned from here is one of those parts). Learn what the real red pill is about, understand male and female nature at its root core.

[–]greendurag16 points17 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Make yourself the hero instead of the villian in your inner monologue. The bio you just gave sounds like that of a capable person. I think you are still hung up on this girl. Have you already tried the last ditch angle where you tell her she makes you a want to be a better person? I actually like the accidentally bumping into her w church tactic. And you actually did grow up religious. Ok, I think I know your problem.. your instincts are good but you tend to execute too quick in the moment. Try being more reserved about revealing info. Also get to know yourself better. In other words, you give quick answers to avoid introspection. You aren't necessarily trying to lie but but the things you say turn out untrue because you don't truly know your own character. Try and incorporate phrases like "I made a mistake," "I'm in the process of thinking about that," and "I changed my mind." .. "I'll try get back to you" ie stall tactics. The psychopath thing sounds like a cop out. I don't blame you.. sounds like you haven't had the easiest go, but I wouldn't be surprised at all if you can handle it.

[–]NikeSigma23 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

You read me like a book, mate.

It's so difficult to say phrases like the ones you listed. And about the girl, I did mention that she makes me want to be a better person, which is true. It's not really important anymore though because she's moved now across the country. My lingering feelings come from her being the first girl I ever did anything with, and it ending off in a weird way.

Thanks for the comment, I'll consult it again

[–]greendurag0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Maybe it's for the best she's gone. If you did something once (found a worthwhile girl) then you can do it again. Help me understand your challenges with the phrases mentioned. And you're welcome, but I'm just projecting my solutions on to you haha

[–]HurricaneHugues-2 points-1 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

"Have you already tried the last ditch angle where you tell her she makes you a want to be a better person? I actually like the accidentally bumping into her w church tactic. "

That's not her problem. And honestly, the world doesn't need another damaged woman in it. This guy needs to see a psychologist to get his mind sorted out before getting involved with anyone. He is a liability right now.

Don't encourage his stalking behavior, please. That's how you get sereal killers.

[–]greendurag-2 points-1 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Spoken like a true White Knight. You must play chess

[–]HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'll let someone else pick the meat off your bones

[–]greendurag-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Interesting imagery from a self rightgious prick

[–]astrogatorjones11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

man, it’s astonishing that you managed to develop this level of self awareness. While you may be a pathological lier you managed to at least tell the truth to yourself, which is fucking hard to do.

Go see a therapist, keep going until you open up and tell everything. Write it down if you need to, you can do this.

[–]Whisper6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

You're not a psychopath. Psychopaths are born, not made. And they don't feel ashamed of being psychopaths... if anything, they are proud of it, because they generally see empathy as a weakness. However, they know perfectly well that others consider them to be monsters, and thus would almost never voluntarily fess up.

If anything, you may be a sociopath instead. Sociopaths are made, not born. Unlike psychopaths, they possess the normal sort of mirror-neuron development that allows humans to have empathy and feel each other's feelings... but the normal function of these have been partially suppressed by trauma or other environmental influences.

Also a possibility is narcissistic personality disorder, which means, in a nutshell, that you suffer from the delusion that you are inherently unlovable, and therefore you have taken great pains to construct a false public persona that you believe can be loved.

If you are telling the truth, which is by no means guaranteed, then it sounds like your early upbringing functioned as a sort of Skinner Box to teach you dishonest behaviour. While mainstream psychology would focus on "curing" you, TRP psychology would take the approach of freeing you from the compulsion to act manipulatively.

In other words, you want manipulative lying to be a tool in your toolbox, not a compulsive behaviour that you engage in whether it helps you or harms you. A fundamental premise of TRP is that how people "are" is best described not an immutable "personality", but as a collection of habits... we are what we repeatedly do.

To be different, do different.

  • Identify situations where honesty will benefit you instead of hurting you. Practice telling the truth in those situations. Focus mentally on the benefit you hope to gain.
  • Start small.
  • Try practicing telling the truth on strangers you will never see again. This may reduce your fear of honesty.
  • Remember that the problem is not your ability to lie... lying is useful. It is your compulsion to lie when it is NOT useful that is hurting you.

[–]HurricaneHugues 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Psycopaths are not born, they are made. Stop spreading bullshit around man. Empathy is develooed during early childhood and is taught by parents from expressions of love. The parent's actions will stimulate the part of the brain that deals with empathy, and that part will develop. If the kid had a fucked up childhood where love and empathy was very hard to come by, they will be stunted in that development of that part of their brain mentioned above.

[–]CrazyHorseInvincible[M] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Dogmatism coupled with poor reading comprehension and moralizing.

Using the word "professional" in all caps isn't evidence. I've removed this. I've had to remove several comments of yours. Mostly for moralizing.

Don't make me keep seeing your name attached to a headache.

[–]HurricaneHugues 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

"Using the word "professional" in all caps isn't evidence."

Evidence for what? Did u even read what I wrote? Instead of kissing this endorsed contributor's ass, how about you check him when he's out of pocket?

Where did he get his degree in psychology to be diagnosing people? He knows nothing of what he's talking about. OP is a pathological liar who stalked a chick and presented a false persona to all her entourage just so he can be near her. That type of behavior only escalates from here. Do you not realise how unhinged and dangerous that is? Normal people don't act that way. The guy needs to see a PROFESSIONAL, someone who is trained and experienced in the art of understanding and navigating the human mind, not some clown on a an internet forum who knows nothing of what he's talking about.

It's shit like this that gets TRP quarantined and the bad rep that it gets. When we fail to properly establish boundaries on the stuff we talk about here. If OP truly loses his screws and catches a few bodies, evidence will lead back to this sub, and more specifically this thread, where a bunch of clowns with internet degrees told him his behavior was perfectly acceptable and that he doesn't need to seek help.

This happens over and over here, and you guys just don't seem to GET it. Then you all wonder why our sub is getting quarantined or threatened with reddit bans.

[–]CrazyHorseInvincible[M] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

He's not an endorsed contributor. He's a fucking founder. If you think he's talking out his ass, then you think TRP is talking out its collective ass, because he's one of about eight dudes who came up with it in the first place.

This is textbook concern trolling, and it's why we came up with the rule. Here you are, stomping your little feet and working yourself into a froth, and you have yet to supply one piece of contradictory evidence. You insist on addressing the speaker, rather than the statement, and trying to police the tone of TRP as a whole, and pretending that's somehow okay by using the word "us" to refer to TRP. Well, there is no "us". You do not own a piece of TRP, and you haven't earned the right to help steer it. If you had a concrete suggestion, you should have sent it to modmail.

You're also in violation of the moralizing rule. We do not collectively give a fuck that OP stalked some chick, because some chick did not come to us for advice. OP did. We do not collectively give a fuck what OP does, because neither /u/Whisper, nor you, nor I, nor anyone but OP, is responsible for OP's actions, past, present, and future.

The reason we do not "seem" to you to "get it", is because you have no idea what "getting it" looks like, because you haven't gotten it.

Now, here's a 60 day ban for moralizing and concern trolling, which you will no doubt turn into a permanent ban by going on modmail and continuing to act like a clueless entitled brat.

[–]Dilduo5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have memories of girls smiling and saying hi and I literally flipped them off in an involuntary movement of my body because of social anxiety.

^This cracked me up lol.

Dude your fine man. It take a lot of balls to admit that. I wouldn't go bring up that your a huge liar to future girls though on your new found path. what they don't know wont hurt them. You told your first truth today by letting us in on all your lies.

I would talk to someone more qualified then people on reddit for this one though although this doesn't hurt.

The worst thing you can do is lie to yourself. If you really want to stop lying in general that willpower will overcome it. Start small. once you realize how liberating it is to break free from your compulsive lying that will further push you in the right direction.

Lying though is an important strategy to get through life sometimes, know that you will be in situations where its better to lie. Just don't lie to yourself or the ones you care about. Seek professional advice and start small.

[–]2comment2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Nothing you wrote indicates psychopathy. They have low fear and impaired empathy for one. They don't lie for the same reasons you do nor would they have guilt over it.

One possible way to stop is to distangle your web of deceits. Tell people you told important lies to that you lied, why you lied, and that you're sorry.

If it's as pervasive as you say, this will be like tearing off a bandage, a mummy sized body bandage, it's gonna hurt a lot and probably fuck up your situation and reputation in the shortterm and maybe long term too.

It'd be easier if you were a -path with little remorse or anxiety.

[–]HurricaneHugues-2 points-1 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Are by a psychologist? I don't fucking think so.

[–]2comment1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

First, it's probably better to have a psychiatrist, not psychologist, render that particular diagnosis. And no, I'm not, but neither is OP with his self diagnosis. Also, I can read.

You don't need to be a doctor to recognize a broken bone either. But it's good to have one to actually treat it.

[–]HurricaneHugues-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

No, a psychiatrist is onky concerned with getting you on drugs. That's all they do. A psychologist is all about navigating and making sense of your mind through talks.

[–]forever_alpha2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you were a psychopath you first of all wouldn’t care about all that shit and seek for advice.

Second of all you wouldn’t have any anxieties.

I think you’re just a little messed up because of your family history and conditioning.

You’ve defined your problems so you should be able to change. Start telling the truth and make it a habit. Reflect on your actions.

Maybe consider therapy also.

[–]Emerald__Faith2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Honestly.

  • Take acid
  • You will be reborn

You sound like your on the path, keep walking.

[–]faustian_talos1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Do not take acid.

[–]tylrmcnl1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yo honestly I was just like you then I started seeing women for what they truly are and realized if you have anxiety it makes even more of a target I started to stay on guard and my anxiety,mental health, and physical health got significantly better so what I suggest is you take a break from tryna be cool and trying to impress women to figure out and learn about yourself stop dressing to impress and dress to be good enough for the day and remember don't let anyone or anything tell you who you are

[–]byronichero991 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Try reading about the concept of shadow self. Jung coined it and there are several books on it. I

[–]screechhater1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dude.

I can only imagine what it is like losing a mom. And, at 8 years old ?

Give yourself a break.

But seriously, cut the bullshit and move forward. Just make it a habit to brutally honest, with tact of course.

The sidebar reading gets you to a point with this

[–]yunhaila1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lying was a coping mechanism for your childhood pain. It was good back then, as you were only a child. Thank your past self for this. But acknowledge that it is time to move on and mature.

Look up Dr. Gabor Matè. His talks on youtube with Tim Ferris has been very therapeutic for me and I highly recommend for you. It is based on childhood trauma and understanding why we come up with the coping mechanisms that we do.

[–]W_O_M_B_A_T1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Your parents were child abusers. Child abusers are the most cowardly scum on the planet. They need organized religion to shield them. Whether you lied to them or told the truth wouldn't have stopped them from being cowardly sick fucks.

You have this belief that lying to your parents protected you from their abuse, but in the end it didn't, did it? So what difference does it make? This is your personal matrix you need to unplug yourself from. That lying could have somehow protected you from your predator sperm and egg donors.

Like most toxic habits, it's really about the lies we tell ourselves.

Psychopaths and Narcissists don't experience guilt, shame, or remorse about their lies. They show a smooth lack of concern about being discovered that they are not what they claim to be.

You have childhood trauma issues and trust issues, and lie as a defense mechanism.

[–]SteveStJohn0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You are on your way. Congratulations.

"I'm constantly in a state of anxiety of being exposed."

Sounds like you haven't achieved outcome independence. Try reading Mental Models: Abundance vs. Scarcity by Illimitable Men.

Good luck

[–]dtyler860 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Do what I do, tell the most direct stark truth and with all of your will, don’t explain why. Someone asks if you’re free and you don’t want to hang, just say no. If a girl you’re interested asks why you haven’t called her, tell her you’re talking to someone else or just not particularly interested.

If looking cool and also reducing your anxiety is the goal, this unashamed honesty seems to build mystery all the while you have nothing to hide.

[–]rockyp320 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It means your afraid to truly show ur self because you have been reinforced to Think it’s not good enough. Doesn’t matter what ur doing it only goes bad once you add judgement too it. I would reccomend meditation and ask yourself why you won’t show ur true colors and if it’s logical

[–]htbf0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You have an issue but it's also a gift. Do you know what kind of strength it takes to carry those lies for that long? Do you know the kind of character it takes to blatantly ignore social rules and carve your own path?

You have a powerful gift. You get to choose how to use it.

If you want to use it differently, the first step is to forgive yourself. Truly do it and let go of the resentment. The truth of your life scares you for some reason but it doesn't need to. You are strong enough to carry the truth and face it.

Psychotherapy may or may not be necessary, it's tough to tell. I would suggest to wait for a bit and see if you can have a personal breakthrough on your own.

If you need a man to talk to about this without judgement or cajoling, pm me.

[–]CodyCodeine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lying is for losers. What's that make you, Adam?

[–]Buckeye12340 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You don’t put bad food in your mouth because it will eventually catch up with you. Makes you fat and unhealthy.

The same applies to your mental health. You’ve been feeding it junk. Lie, cheat, steal. All good. We’ve all been there. It will also catch up with you. Make you a miserable addict, where you drink and abuse drugs just to accept yourself. Time to start feeding the mind healthy food—honesty, justice, compassion, kindness. Like a good diet it will turn things around.

[–]Thunder_banger0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Anything that's become so ingrained is the work of the subconscious. It's amazing that you're conscious of it now and want to change, so that's step one. The best way to affect the subconscious is to meditate daily for 10 minutes. Get used to the feeling of thoughts coming up, and then forming. Before you know it, you'll have more control in accepting then rather than lying your way through a tough situation uncontrollably.

You don't need someone to berate or scare you into change and call it tough love. What you need now is discipline.

[–]TheGoldenLeprechaun0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Psychopathy is partly driven by intelligence/rationale. The ability to rationalize any and every action because X until it eventually becomes habit. Which is why therapy sucks if you're equally or much more intelligent than your therapist. At some point you may even start fucking with them, which is why a lot of psychs don't treat borderlines like you, and if they do it's for the milk because they know they can't help you.

If you can't stop, and you can't shut your mouth, then you'll have to practice associative / reward / punishment cognitive behavioral training or whatever it's called. Wrist band snap, pinch, etc... slowly introduce this reward/punishment system, make sure it's something that will motivate you. Entrepreneurs who have working businesses are disciplined but open-minded people. So be careful about lying to cover more lies to maintain the status quo.

That said, as you get older it will start to drastically fade. Mostly because you'll have way less fucks to give when you start growing grey dick hair. But 10 years of CBT will help speed things up. Get started.

Side Note: Calling out bullshitters used to be a fun hobby of mine. Watching them panic and squirm as their stories got publicly reduced to smoking ash was hilarious. I don't think you wanna be that guy. Keep that in mind when lying.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Go to therapy and also Build a plate rotation

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You're not a psychopath. You just fell on pathological lying as a coping mechanism for having a low self-worth and for dealing with anxiety over same. That's incredibly common, and it's something that therapy (CBT specifically) can help you with to a very serious degree in a relatively short period of time.

Meanwhile, just stop saying shit. Whenever you feel the urge to talk just for the sake of talking, which is where most if not all of your ridiculous lies come from, just don't talk.

Keep in mind that more people see through your lies than you think. They just don't say anything.

[–]Lem0nzzx0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You're a pathological liar but based on the second half of your post, you don't seem like a psychopath at all. You're much more normal than you think. But you should still see a professional.

[–]faustian_talos0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You are not a psychopath.

[–]donkeydodo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

There is a webpage called Betterhelp.com - therapy online. You can try to rationalize to yourself that the person you're writing to is never going to know who you are, so you can be as brutally honest as you want based on that premise.

[–]perplexedm0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Then a parent died from cancer

Wasn't that your biological mum or dad?

If a mate said "can your mom drive us to x, y, x" I quickly lied that she wasn't available because of a business trip, vacation, busy, etc. Lied like this for 10+ years.

Why did you have to lie here? What was the motive? Were you lying on behalf of your parent? What would've happened if you didn't lie?

Cheated on every test in highschool.

You didn't get good tuition or guidance...

Lied to everyone about everything I could to make myself look "cool" when I was petrified of a social interaction.

You have other family issues, which probably caused your lying issue from the beginning.

I have memories of girls smiling and saying hi and I literally flipped them off in an involuntary movement of my body because of social anxiety.

Totally expected in case you have bad family background and support.

pretended to walk into her worship place

Isn't that a church ?

She was shocked because she thought I was a cocky party boy. She thought it was a divine revelation from a higher power that I showed up that day. I faked it all 100% and convinced them all because I'm insane.

You have good impersonal skills, fake it till you win it. Required for business there days and social interaction with women in contemporary times to an extend. You should consider this as a positive value which should be used in a good way.

went to the religious building

Again, can you be specific why you are not calling that religious building a church?

while she talked about marriage and introduced me to her father.

Interesting.

I lied to her about my schooling, ex girlfriends, my family, my hobbies. Almost everything because I felt like I wasn't as good as her.

Bottom line I lied to her about 99.999% of things. And I legit loved her despite my lies.

It is normal for women to have more life experience than men these days since they are pampered by society and their parent's willingness to support their vices. No big deal.

Naive men find it difficult to understand and uncover vices of women. They mistake innocent looks and emotional behavior of women as a mirror of their true soul. The fact is they too have their own load of issues.

She could've uncovered your lies in a later stage and felt cheated in her life. But if you were so good at life later, she would've ignore all that.

So when she said that her family had to move across the country, and we had to "break up" I was broken for months.

Why they have to move across the country. If she was seriously in love with you, why did she move? Even considering she introduced you to her father, talked about marriage, etc.?

Have you ever felt she is really not into you? Don't you think you escaped unhurt here? Do you think she at least partially understood your background?

But I still lie every day to almost everyone.

You can change that.

I'm constantly in a state of anxiety of being exposed.

Don't take it emotionally even if you get exposed. Think as if that is not a big deal. Find means to cope with the realities in a open to the face manner. No need to be selfless, no need to budge in front of those who can be against your interests also.

What should I do TRP?

If you concentrate well, you can make it well in business. That is why you should do. Take some guidance from good counsels, not the kind which gives you guilt trip.

You are a very capable person, you only need some guidance and consul. Understand they everybody have their own load of issues and you are not alone. Consider losing your gf for now as a closing moment and take it forward in a positive manner.

[–]Kommanderdude 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Yeah, don’t go to a psychologist. They’ll just try to make you a beta bitch. They tell you you have toxic masculinity and recommend that you take a pill to reduce your testosterone levels. Plenty of psychopaths and sociopaths are at the top of the ladder in this world.

[–]kagewolf1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

As someone who actually studies psychology, this made me laugh😂. Thanks for the free entertainment, mate.

[–]faustian_talos0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

dafaq

[–]MrAgamemnon-4 points-3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I'm constantly in a state of anxiety of being exposed.

You will be exposed. 100% you will be exposed and your reputation will be ruined, it will be brutal. It will be ruined forever.

No one will trust you again, your friends will desert you.

You can't stop lying, you have already have a web of lies which you will want to continue.

You only have one option: sell your business and move, move across the country (or to a new one) where nobody knows you and start fresh, no more lies, no more deceit.

But only if you can stop the lying. If you can't stop that when you start fresh, there's no point.

People can forgives thieves, rapists and murderers, but liars are unforgivable - once trust is broke...

Sorry for being brutal, but that's how it is.

[–]Dark_T1009 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

stop being an autistic moron. literally noone will care if he did lie, hes had a rough life. he lied about his mother being dead just to not seem different in front of his friends for christs sake.

its not like he lied and stole things from his friends. they were white lies.

[–]MrAgamemnon1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

he lied about his mother being dead just to not seem different in front of his friends for christs sake.

The issue isn't one lie. This one about his mother as a little kid is totally understandable.

But I still lie every day to almost everyone. I'm constantly in a state of anxiety of being exposed.

This is the problem - based on this statement and what he said about lying about his education... I think it's a little bit more than a few "white lies".

its not like he lied and stole things from his friends.

People can forgive losing material things, they can't forgive being played like fools (unless they are a woman).

I've seen fallout from this kind of thing and it's not pretty.

[–]faustian_talos0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

autistic moron ahhahahah

[–]Abnull-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lying is a sign of caring about the outcome. A person who doesn't care about the outcome won't need to lie. Outcome independence.

I understand it may be different for you, lying is built in now. But if are always lying it's going to be hard to go from full throttle into reverse.

Try setting a quota of lies you are allowed to tell per day and slowly decrease it. Make the amount achievable.

Be optimistic about it. Set a valid inspiring reason to not lie.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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