~ archived since 2018 ~

I’m craving attention. How do I stop this?

InconspicuousWand
March 4, 2018
18 upvotes
/r/askTRP

Been a while since I posted on here. Little background I’m a recovering drug addict. Been dating a girl for 5 years live together. Prior to dating her I went on a fucking rampage. Slept with over 100 women. Game and women became my purpose and filled my life. I studied game. Women. Non stop. And would go fuck as many hot chicks as I could in any given week.

I got really good at it. The drugs made me better at it. But then I couldn’t live as an addict anymore so I stopped. Stopped drinking too and going to bar. I started changing my life around focusing on myself and career and dating my current gf. Now I’m currently back on track of living a normal healthy life focused on my career. I want a family also.

But recently I keep thinking back to all the hot chicks I used to fuck. It’s like I want a taste again. Women hit on me and I know I still “got it” but lately I’ve been really seeking this female attention and wanting to go back to fucking random women. Now most of you will say. Well then leave your gf and go do it.

But I think there’s an underlying issue here. That I’m trying to fill a void of some sort. It’s like I constantly crave female attention. And want women to want me even if i don’t want them. (Probably because I spent over half my life making them my purpose). But i want to understand why I crave it so badly. Why it makes me feel so good when they show interest, tell me they want me. Etc.

It’s getting to the point where I’m thinking about it all day. Regretting women I didn’t fuck and could have. And missing them throwing themselves at me. I’m sure this isn’t healthy but it’s real it’s becoming very distracting. I’m missing the playboy life style I used to live but also know if go back to it. My life will turn to shit mostly.

I’m wondering if any of you dealt with this. How did you move on from it. Or not? What can I do to get to the root of this and either stop it or figure it out?

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Post Information
Title I’m craving attention. How do I stop this?
Author InconspicuousWand
Upvotes 18
Comments 16
Date March 4, 2018 4:09 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit /r/askTRP
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/im-craving-attention-how-do-i-stop-this.125057
https://theredarchive.com/post/125057
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/81yj2t/im_craving_attention_how_do_i_stop_this/
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Comments

[–]AllgBeamtenrecht17 points18 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

these women give you the impression to be valuable , that's why you crave their attention. secretly, you have low self-esteem and project it onto the female to elevate you. were you raised overprotective? how is the relationship to your family? seems like a narcicisstic disorder to me. very zeitgeist.

[–]InconspicuousWand0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m an only child. I wouldn’t say I was raised over protected tho and my relationship with my family is really good. Maybe being an only child has something to do with it.

I just don’t understand why that female attention makes me feel so good. Literally almost as good as the drugs made me feel. Getting a hot chick just to admit she wants me alone can put me in a better mood. Fucking her makes me feel like the man. Then it’s on to the next.

It’s weird because you say low self esteem which I really used to have. Then I gained self confidence and high self esteem and it helped me get women. Now I’m feeling this way being in a relationship and away from that playboy life style. So maybe you’re right. I’m not sure I just want it to stop controlling me

[–]refusewool20 points21 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You are not in control of your own thoughts and urges. That’s the problem. Start meditating everyday from today. Detach yourself from your cravings.

[–]InconspicuousWand3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I used to meditate everyday and haven’t in a looong time. Good idea

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Please remember you do have a dick. You’ll always want to bang different woman. Let me rephrase it, your dick has no standards. Thank god, because it’s helped you and a lot of 2am bar leftovers.

With that being said, the two levels of addiction are the mental and physical. As you already know, the mental is the hard part. Whenever you’re feeling off, you’re predisposed to look to the outside to make your inside feel better. How’s your self care going? Have you become stagnate in your life? As long as I’m moving forward in mine and only focusing on the things in my control, I don’t need the outside world as much. I’m at peace or at least have a hint of it.

If you feel you can’t address these issues by yourself, go see a therapist for a few sessions. Most insurance covers it nowadays. It’s where I learned how to use CBT.

[–]InconspicuousWand1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I haven’t become stagnate per say. I am working a lot because I am trying to start my own business eventually. And I have to take necessary steps to give myself the best chance at succeeding. I took a pay cut to work at a job where I can learn a lot about the business I will be trying to start. In turn I am working more hours for less. It keeps me busy but the little free I have. I am pretty tired and broke because of the pay cut. So I think due to this. Boredom and lack of finances (when I had plenty money prior) may be causing me to go a little crazy inside

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Exactly and it’s normal to want a release or relief from it. On a side note, it’s awesome to hear how much your life changed. Keep it up dude!

[–]InconspicuousWand0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks now if I can just get this in order I’ll be alright

[–]linkster3962 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Every man has something that drives him to wake up in the morning. That void you're feeling is a way your body is asking for a purpose. My recommendation is to pick up meditation again & start giving back to the community in one way or another.

[–]huge_gap0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I think you already know the answer and came to it yourself after writing this.

[–]InconspicuousWand0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

What are you seeing that I’m not

[–]huge_gap2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You're trying to fill a void and pussy is not going to fill it. Work on yourself, hobbies, friends, career. You need a mission/passion to feel actualized. Pussy is great and fun but not what you should focus on.

[–]InconspicuousWand0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Why does all this seem less appealing than the women

[–]W_O_M_B_A_T0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

........

[–]JedYorks-2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

you can't detach yourself, you gonna detach yourself from hunger and thirst too?

[–]InconspicuousWand0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That’s true. So what’s you’re solution

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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