2 years ago I broke up with my LTR of 5 years. Real stupid slut, I was beyond beta and couldn't believe it took that long to break free. Long story short, 5 years later I found out she cheated on me twice in the first month of our relationship and I told her to fuck off. Now starts the best year of my life.

Started lifting, went from 135lbs at 5'10" to 180lbs. Started grinding my business on YouTube and did $20k a month for several months. Learned fashion, groomed myself better, and cleared my acne. Went from 2 sexual partners to over 15 in a **summer.** Traveled, made new friends, discovered new hobbies, and most importantly had confidence higher than I **ever** had in my entire life. It was like a drug rush that never went away.

Here's where it starts to go downhill. About a year ago I run into a girl that I plate a couple times. Weird thing is I met her from my friend who plated her a few times, then a few months later she got interested in me. We started hanging out and having sex, and then she starts staying the night a few nights. Flash forward and she is staying the night **every** night and is my girlfriend. Thing is, it just sort of *happened.* Like I never formally wanted a gf or anything but I never fought against it and now she's basically living with me and is my LTR.

Our relationship is okay. We can have fun, but most of it is spent arguing. She has had more sexual partners than me, despite being 4 years younger. She's told me about 2 different threesomes (ffm and fmm) that she has been in. I've stumbled across texts on her phone from before me literally *begging* guys to come over and fuck her with their "cucumber" sized dicks that make her sore. Ya know the shit you never wish you read? That might top the fucking list...

She used to get hammered every night at the bars but has since "basically quit because it makes me unhappy." She used to smoke a lot of pot until I tried breaking up with her (I don't like being around pot smokers) and she quit that too. Her friends are sluts, but she says she has changed because I have made her the best version of herself or some shit? Idk.

I know there is more than enough to end things, but this is where something beta in me is coming back. I am having **so much fucking trouble** doing it. I don't know why, it's like I expect her to make a big fucking mistake to make it easy but she doesn't. Then I talk myself out of doing it on a random day or fight we have because I'm too busy to deal with it. I'm afraid of being in the same small ass town with her as my ex, she'd probably screw my friends or something. I am literally stuck in a rut in my life. What can I do to muster the strength? How can I find the power to escape this shit?