I’m having trouble gaining perspective on a situation with a controlling parent

JasonPaul17 · 2021-01-15T10:03:45+00:00

You’ve said yourself that this all come about because of your own past behavior, it sounds more like a reactive parent than a controlling one. Best thing you can do is, talk to him about how you’ve changed, show him you’ve changed, then ask him if you can take it off your phone. If you take it of your phone now that only leaves him to believe you’re trying to attempt more previous behavior.

Blackhawk2479 · 2021-01-15T11:42:01+00:00

How old are you?

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2021-01-15T19:16:10+00:00

My dad has Life360 on my phone.

The bad influence in your life is your dad.

Just leave it in your room. It's not a fucking ankle monitor. You have no legal requirement to carry it with you. Or power off and take the Sim card out unless you need to make a call.

It your job to tell him where you're going, when you'll be back, and then be a fucking man of your word. That's all. The latter is called integrity. It's medicine, get some for yourself, then pass it along.

His insecurities aren't your concern. It is not your job to manage his fears. You're not his father and you cannot reassure him that everything is going to be OK. You do not have the power to reassure him it's all going according to plan all the time. Do mot attempt to do so. Tell him you're not his father and you cannot make him feel safe, secure, and in control.

Going off the grid is good for you. Find another hobby. Take a book around and read in your spare time. I recommend "Can't Hurt Me" by David Goggins for example. The guy is inspirational as shit.

Use someone else's phone to call your dad if necessary. Tell him you forgot to charge it and he'll just have to trust your word sooner or later.

I’ve honestly changed and even get scared of being around bad influences or being in a shysty situation. So I understand he tracks me to make sure I’m safe and just in case he can’t reach me.

That's not why he does it. He does it because he has irrational trust issues and eant you to soothe his insecurities.

Practice the Grey Rock Technique.

Look it up.

Only give one word answers to your dad. Two at most.

Put him on a strict information diet. Tell him where you're going and when you expect to be back. That's all. Then be good to your word. Do not attempt to argue with him.

And at the time I didn’t really think much of it because I felt bad for the stress I put on him

Not your job to manage his stress or soothe him. You've got your own shit to worry about. He's the adult here.

Title	I’m having trouble gaining perspective on a situation with a controlling parent
Author	Comfortable-Apple-65
Upvotes	2
Comments	5
Date	January 15, 2021 7:02 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/kxpa93/im_having_trouble_gaining_perspective_on_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/im-having-trouble-gaining-perspective-on-a.735041 https://theredarchive.com/post/735041