Is taking on another man's child unilaterally bad?

ConfidenceMatters · 2014-10-24T16:40:12+00:00

Don't be a fag. Don't you over commit to a broken woman and her bastard child just because you're desperate and want some pussy.

You're better than that.

[deleted] · 2014-10-24T18:01:25+00:00

[permanently deleted]

fnordsnord · 2014-10-24T16:58:36+00:00

I cannot imagine taking on another guy's kids. All the work, all the expense, NONE of the genetic immortality. A bro of mine did it. Took on two kids of mixed race, one of them with autism and is trying to get them set up in life.

I miss him. He was a chill bro.

[deleted] · 2014-10-24T14:20:38+00:00

This is a generally bad idea. Know that the kid will always take priority over you in the mother's life. That's acceptable when it's your kid, your progeny, your DNA moving forward... not so much when it's another man's kid. You can get pussy without the 80lbs of strings attached. Plus, depending on where you life, you don't want to be on the hook for child support for taking a "fatherly role" if shit goes south.

[deleted] · 2014-10-24T17:56:12+00:00

Generally I find young beta males all too eager to enter a relationship with a single mother. Single moms usually hit the wall early & are looking for that beta bux nice man. One of my friends growing up was what I consider "A beta trying to put on the appearance of an alpha". At 23/24 he ended up hooking up with a 32 year old post-meth single mother of three young children after a night of drinking. He then pulls his usual "I want to see where this goes" routine to which she agrees. They start dating.

In the months leading up to the hookup, he had fed her mountains of BS, like saying he was an immigrant from a foreign country, that he's actually 29, that he saw his own sister be killed in front of his eyes (he doesn't even have a sister) etc. She eventually found out about this mountain of lies, but the typical "but I love him!" hamster blew her brain and she remains with him to this day (Wonder why).

Fast forward 3-4 years he's living with her in a townhouse. One week on she has her children and one week off she doesn't. In the beginning I warned him that in the end he'll end up sacrificing a huge amount of his time & money towards the children and that's exactly what has happened.

Just think: Try to picture the most disadvantageous type of relationship a young man could be in. A single mother of multiple children (Dad or No Dad in their life, doesn't matter) would be no reasonable first option for anybody.

The only reason betas go for it is because of oneitis and the single moms more lax standards.

zxDanKwan · 2014-10-24T19:55:20+00:00

It is unilaterally bad in the scenario you described, wherein you cannot/will not have your own children with the woman. However, my experience suggests there are rare cases where it may not be the worst decision you could make.

Though, having since come to TRP, I would caution that it is definitely a risky game to play. Lots of obstacles to overcome if you go this route.

I was BP when I met my wife, but still had some RP/Alpha traits I wasn't fully capitalizing on. She had a son from a previous relationship, but she did not have custody. I got her knocked up, and she stuck with me for the past 12 years. During our time together, I was able to help her get her life in good enough shape that she was able to get custody of her son back.

Sure, we've had issues, but she would always defer to my direction when it came to how we dealt with her son. Even to the point that she kicked him out of the house at 17, at my command.

I always instinctively knew how to handle kids, even if I didn't know how to handle women (spoiler alert: it's the same way), so it was very easy for me to lead the way on that.

I think I also had a leg up in the situation because of the second child we shared, as well as me being the only reason she was able to get custody of her son in the first place (some weird psychological twist where, even though it was another man's spawn, she wouldn't have him if it wasn't for me)

But who the fuck really knows.

In all frankness, I would say if you can't/won't have children of your own, find a woman who also can't/won't birth her own kids, but still wants some, and adopt. There are plenty of kids out there that need parents.

Sandkasten · 2014-10-24T13:05:07+00:00

If you have no interest in having children of your own, why are you considering taking care of another man's child?

FrameWalker · 2014-10-24T17:42:56+00:00

You can adopt when you are ready to raise children

oldredder · 2014-10-25T08:34:18+00:00

I see nothing good from raising another man's DNA to take my place.

If for some reason you want to spend your life's energy to help another man's DNA, fine, but I see no good reason.

Entirely separate if you date a single mother she has every reason to get you on the hook for paying for her children so she isn't, so she can spend that money on herself. While you play daddy she can be out "shopping" aka fucking the alpha guy who knows better than to be a babysitter. Which is you

elgordoloko · 2014-10-27T02:25:33+00:00

Have fun raising a child who you will try to discipline and the child saying "your not my dad" while his mom comes in to the rescue. The chances are high that you will only just be there instead of being apart of the family. Taking on the problems of another man is beta as fuck when you can have something that is only yours.

dreckmal · 2014-10-24T13:57:41+00:00

So let's assume that I have no interest in having children of my own, or that I am for various reasons unable.

The more important question: Is dating a single mother important enough to your happiness to expose yourself to the dangers of becoming attached to the product of another man's balls?

If you can answer that, you'll have the answer to your OP.

Title	Is taking on another man's child unilaterally bad?
Author	IVIaskerade
Upvotes	1
Comments	21
Date	October 24, 2014 12:41 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2k6w3j/is_taking_on_another_mans_child_unilaterally_bad/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/is-taking-on-another-mans-child-unilaterally-bad.143080 https://theredarchive.com/post/143080