I know what it is, but I don't know how to search for it. I suppose I should give some background. I'm married for a long time. I use to flirt a lot when I was single. I have distanced myself from the opposite sex like a good little BP since marriage. The reason I am convinced it's not approach anxiety is that I didn't exactly have that back in the day. If it was female and attractive, I was chatting her up. I knew nothing about game so I didn't get laid tons but I made out with countless girls and cockblocked myself a bunch of times. 

Yesterday I was going to work and stopped to fill up the truck and while in the store I spotted a female from behind. She was dressed up and for that time of the morning I thought it was odd. Her hair was bleach blonde. The ends of her hair betrayed how long it had been since her last cut. When she turned around I found myself extremely attracted to her. Full pupil dilation accompanied by brain fog. All of the chemicals that fire off in your brain for attraction must have dumped it all at once. I acted nonchalant and just went through my routine, and I noticed her checking me out, but had to literally stop myself from speaking to her. And this is something that I don't want to do any longer. I want to talk but I don't want to cheat. I reasoned that I'd bang her right on the counter if I started talking. Honestly I have only had that strong of attraction with one other girl. I was single with that one and never made a move with the reasoning of her not having the same level of attraction. And the weird thing is that neither of these two are the most beautiful I've ever been in the presence of. Now there is some of that going on when I'm attracted to any girl. These two were off the charts. 

And here's the rub. When I do speak with girls I'm attracted to I feel goofy. No attraction I'm laid back, flirty, funny. I'm not wanting anything from them except conversation. With the attractive girls, more reserved. There is a massive amount of guilt and logically it doesn't make sense but in the moment it's there. In Models it says that it's OK and I suppose I should read it again. The only fear I have is not being able to stop. So I guess I think of it like an on and off switch... How do you get over this goofy feeling? I suppose I should tell myself that I could still think rationally. That it's not a choice of who you're attracted to. But am I missing something? Links to pook or Rollo or something would be nice.