Just discovered my fiance has a very promiscuous past and I have thoughts of ending it. Am I being too rash?

redrogue12 · 2018-03-30T01:53:26+00:00

Damn whoever PM'd you back handed slapped you into reality lol

TheRedPillMonkey · 2018-03-30T03:23:29+00:00

You want us to tell you to break it off. You wouldn't have posted here if you didn't. You're seeking that as an answer. The other sub wants you to stay with her, you didn't like that, so you need some reaffirmation to break it off.

Break it off. You're not into her anymore and you never will be. Even if she turns in to the perfect bedroom slut for you, all you'll think about is her doing that with other guys. That's what you want to hear because that's what you want to do, so do it.

Or, stay with her and give her half your shit in a year or two.

Let me give you the quick guide to trp marriage:

Don't do it.
If you do it, start with a bunch of plates (multiple girls you're banging on a regular basis), but none are a relationship. Let one prove herself and earn a promotion to LTR status. Verify her background, make sure she subscribes to your frame and treats you as the one in charge. Then, maybe consider giving her half your shit.

If you didn't do that, time to start over.

Quantum_Jiraiya · 2018-03-31T01:31:57+00:00

Read the entire sidebar of r/theredpill

2a. I can’t say how many guys your woman has banged. Is it 10? Maybe. Is it 30? Maybe? Is it 100? Maybe. Is it less than 5? No.

2b. You might have discovered a small pocket of dudes she happened to get with in college. Maybe she got with 4 guys over 4 years, which isn’t out of the norm for college women.

2c. She might have been passed around 30 guys. Sometimes shy girls, wallflowers and the like are the most promiscous females.

n count isn’t the end all be all. She might love you forever and have 3 cute kids and retire to Florida. BUT n count is statistically shown to have a direct coorelation to problems down the road regarding divorce and infidelity.
A bigger red flag is how absolutely in the dark you are about this. You clearly have not been able to properly filter this woman in 2.5 years of knowing her, and she keeps secrets.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2018-03-30T01:02:58+00:00

First, why the fuck would you get married to anyone in the first place? If I said, ”Hey, let’s go skydiving tomorrow…But don’t worry only half of the parachutes don’t open!” You’d tell me to fuck off. At least that’s what you would do if you had any brains. And yet, that’s what marriage is.

On your fiancée in particular, you are wifing her up to get what she was previously willing to give away to every outlaw biker, escaped mental patient, and drug dealer for free back when she was younger, tighter and hotter. How does that make you feel? Pretty special, I’m guessing.

Look, you can’t turn a whore into a housewife. You should be happy you found the shit out now, before you went and that her half of your stuff plus 40% of your gross that she would love you for the rest of your life. Dump the doorknob, sidebar, and lift.

Asdfghjkugfvnki · 2018-03-30T15:51:38+00:00

It will eat away at you for the rest of your life if you stay with her. Dump her, but don’t tell her why.

module_process · 2018-03-30T01:16:47+00:00

We have sex, it's not like a dead bedroom or anything, but she's always struck me as being more on the average if not slightly conservative side of libido and openness.

This is what would bother me...sounds like she gave out her best while on the carousel. Even if she didn't, now it'll always be in your mind regardless. Once that seed has planted...well, good luck trying not to think about it.

If you call it off, I wouldn't tell her or anyone why. 2018 is only a couple of months in, so it hasn't been that long for the engagement. Has a date actually been set? Have you already spent money planning a wedding? If no, then it might not be as hard as you think. I'm obviously going to suggest to not get married, but I'm 40...and have seen the results of marriage far too often.

The truth is that you'll never know where any woman has been. That's OK for fun, but it is the ultimate reason not to marry and legally be tied to any woman.

Good Luck.

Zanford · 2018-03-30T02:49:07+00:00

Marrying her would be the rash thing to do, you could lose half your shit. NOT marrying someone is never rash.

Well maybe if it's a billionaire heiress.

You said it yourself - you've lost all attraction to her. There is no point in continuing a relationship, much less a legal entanglement.

sagaray304 · 2018-03-30T05:21:26+00:00

So, I have a friend who went through this (don't we all have that one friend?). There are far more experienced redpillers than I who have given you advice. It will take time for you to digest it and get through it all. BUT you don't have the time, so keep this in mind:

People will try to shame you, guilt you and outright ostracize you if you don't do the right thing. What is the right thing you may ask and you have. For society, the right thing here is the woman's wellbeing - her feelings. Your fiance. You don't matter. Your feelings don't matter. Your well-being doesn't matter.

BUT for you, the right thing is to do what you feel like, what you want to do. If you want to break up with her, then there is nothing wrong with that. Reasons don't matter. What matters is you. Your self-esteem, your confidence, your ability to judge for yourself and trust yourself. Once you lose it, it's hell getting it back.

Society will break you down, use your own guilt against you, use convoluted arguments to convince you what you believe and feel aren't right. That you are being irrational, misogynist and a million other things. That is the only power they have over you, your guilt and shame for having the audacity to have thoughts and feelings that reflect your values and ideas.

They will do their damnest to strip them away and make you a shell of a man. How dare you have the audacity to do what you want to do. How dare you expect your fiance to not have slept with half the town, she was finding herself. It's not her fault, she has no responsibility for her actions. It's in her past. Remember, these arguments are not reciprocal. They do not apply to you. That argument you had with her, all of a sudden it's not the past but a valid instrument in which to get a restraining order.

Do what you feel is right mate. Your feelings matter, no matter how irrational, controversial or against societal norms. No one else is going to take care of you. You don't owe anyone an explanation.

That friend of mine? - He's a shell of a man.

huntersam13 · 2018-03-30T07:14:35+00:00

"she's always struck me as being more on the average if not slightly conservative side of libido and openness."

She is like that with you... but she obviously isn't like that with other men. This is the biggest red flag of all... You are setting yourself up to be cuckolded.

kolluminko · 2018-03-30T07:42:32+00:00

i had this woman years ago, she wanted to get children with me. then i found out she fucked 50+ people before me. found out she was the mistress of husbands 20 years older than her. that she cheated. swallowed dick on toilets. oh man, it hurt so much when i found out.

she and her fucking single mother, her strongest advisor, wanted to sell this to me as healthy sexuality. that my gut feeling was in fact slut-shaming.

i tell you, do not listen to any woman's opinion on that. deep down they know that this is a hard dealbreaker, because it is. a man can't be safe for the rest of his life with a woman like that. she will suck toilet dick sooner or later, get bored, miss the past, whatever. every male who did not leave his balls at the wardrobe yet understands you. this is an evolutionary mechanism. you dont want to breed with a female you can't be sure of. this is not ego, this is reality. get out of this relationship, you will never recover from this and she will not be able to hide her true personality forever.

2comment · 2018-03-30T04:34:15+00:00

You have a good friend.

batfish55 · 2018-03-30T09:58:47+00:00

She's decided that you'll be a good provider, that's why she said yes. And she's be slightly conservative so you won't think she's a slut. Because if you did think she's a slut, you'd feel just like you do right now.

She's also being conservative because you're not turning her on as well as Chad Thundercock did. But you'll do. For now. Then, after a few years, she'll yearn for Chad's 14 inch personality again, and leave you. And take your house. And kids, if you have any.

Next. Also, go to the redpill sub and read everything on the sidebar.

Casd12 · 2018-03-30T02:48:00+00:00

http://socialpathology.blogspot.ca/2012/03/promiscuity-data-guest-post.html?m=1

Read this. It shows a direct correlation between the number of partners a women has and marriage failure rates.

Don't do it.

Whisper · 2018-03-30T06:02:53+00:00

Why the fuck are you even asking?

If you are getting married at all, then you don't fucking listen to what we have to say.

So, here's what you will do.

You will read a whole bunch of comments telling you not to do it.
Then you will do it.
Then she will cheat on you, not with a super alpha, but with some tweaker with a mullet and a service job.
And you will write us another post asking for advice you won't take.

Ironic_Gangster · 2018-03-30T03:34:27+00:00

Nah, she has exhibited low value behavior in the past and the sheer fact that you feel negatively over this is an instinctual indicator that you probably shouldn't go down this path. Feelings are instinct. This specific feeling/instinct has evolved in us men as a natural cuckold defense and a measuring stick for where you are in the hierarchy compared to her.

You're instinct is saying "You can do better than a hoe and there's a higher probability of you taking care of some other man's kid without even knowing it." Plus, it's obvious that you now think less of her for this. Don't marry someone you feel this way about.

Another thing. If you know that she was horny in the past, but doesn't fuck you whenever you want now, she is not that attracted to you. She was attracted to the guys she fucked often back in the day. Not you.

End it.

the_monk_of_tomorrow · 2018-03-30T05:01:24+00:00

"Her genuine desire, her sexual best was never intended for him in the first place."

ElOweTea · 2018-03-30T07:41:43+00:00

OP if I were you, not only am I calling the whole thing off, but I would demand for the engagement ring back and whatever engagement jewellery i bought for her so I can re-sell it and get my money back.

loganal · 2018-03-30T02:44:15+00:00

what if I told you, if you read the sidebar of /r/theredpill, get big muscles and cool hobbies while cultivating a social circle, you can fuck prime babes well into your 50s? At the very least? I think you'd be lying if you said you weren't interested. Not only does trp promise this, but the advice within makes it an attainable reality. go forth my son, dump all sloots to the gutter and live your ONE life to the fullest my dude.

319Skew · 2018-03-30T02:30:27+00:00

You have two paths. Do some soul searching, take a red pill and thank whatever deity you worship for that chance meeting. Don't get married,fuck women and be happy.

Swallow your ego. Realize your potential fiancé was a whore, roll the dice and get married. Maybe she'll fuck another dude or branch swing or divorce rape you. Maybe she won't and you'll retire by a beach.

People fuck. Sex feels good and if you dig up the past you'll get dirty. Your precious wallflower, could have been the slut that video taped herself sucking off a homeless man on a dare and posted it online for everyone jerked off to.

Or maybe she's made a few decisions, slept around and is really invested in you.

I don't sit and think about who my plates fucked because it's my turn and baring it happening while I'm with her it doesn't really matter to me but I'm not emotionally or financially invested. You are.

Best of luck to you and sorry for the pain. Use it to strengthen yourself and I hope to compete one day with you for that hot 10 with the nice tits.

anylegtypes · 2018-03-30T03:40:43+00:00

She doesn't know I know, but this is extremely hard to keep to myself. When I saw her again I just acted like I wasn't feeling great and went to bed. I don't know what to do guys! This has completely changed my perception of her. I'm legitimately grossed out by the thought of having sex with her, and I've even had thoughts of calling off the engagement.

I think the key point that those in r/relationships were missing is that, at this stage, it does not matter whether you are justified in feeling this way or not.

You could be a complete asshole who unjustly shames women and has outdated sexual views and is treating her with total disrespect... and that would not change what course of action you should take here.

Should a racist hold their beliefs? No. Should they try to change? Absolutely. But should they marry someone of a different race while they are still a racist? Definitely not, because it's just going to cause trouble.

In the same way, the simple fact that you DO now feel this way about your fiance strongly suggests that you should break it off with her. You might become less sexually judgemental over time if you chose to work on it and push yourself in that direction, but it's not going to happen any time soon, and you're just going to have a disastrous marriage in the meantime that causes both of you an incredible amount of pain.

Break it off, be polite about it, don't tell her why, and move on.

After that point, THEN you can decide if you want to try to change your beliefs about sex, or persist with them but find a less promiscuous girl. It's really up to you.

atlas87 · 2018-03-30T02:36:48+00:00

Hey man, first off that sucks to hear, but all is not lost. I agree that you should pop over to The Red Pill subreddit and start reading. If you’re new to this perspective, keep an open mind and just see how many things start clicking into place re your girls behavior.

Generally, I am one of the minority that supports marriage in this sub as a structure within which children should be raised. I also think if you’re going to commit to that, it’s full blown monogamy and you abandon all ideas of being a player. You also go down with that ship. Child support ain’t shit IMO compared to the prospect of losing my kids. All that said, you have to be a man that is capable of exciting and challenging your wife if you have any hope of her not being shady. You do that by being a competent man that knows what he’s about, knows how to seduce and turn a woman on, and is ready to lead a family.

Okay, so back to your situation. What you are experiencing is simultaneously the death of your fiancé, and having to live with the person who killed her. It’s tough, but don’t let on that things are off quite yet. Keep things close to the vest for now, but start getting things in order in case you do have to call it off.

There are two parts that concern me about your situation. First, the fact that her promiscuity is a shock to your system says something. We don’t know the extent of her past exploits, and that’s not really what’s important now. 20 dudes isn’t that different from 75 if your response is gonna be disgust either way. This may be irreconcilable if you are learning for the first time that women like sex. The women that I would describe as “horny lmao” usually REALLY like the type of degrading sex that would probably not sit well with you.

Second, the fact that she isn’t the “horny” girl she was with these other guys is something you need to look in the mirror about and is by far the most concerning part. If you haven’t drawn that out of her yet, it would take a massive change in your outlook on life to become the man that illicits that response and knows how to push those buttons. In this day and age, this is usually discovered by trial and error in the dating scene.

At the end of the day, none of us know you or your situation. Go read the side bar at TRP and do what makes sense. If anything is a deal breaker as far as I can tell, it’s that you aren’t the type of man that is really turning her on sexually after she’s already experienced that with other men. That can be fixed, but trying to learn it within the context of a toxic relationship is counterproductive at best.

Edit: I wasn’t trying to be a dick with this post. The Red Pill is a fucking tough one to swallow, but its exactly what you need right now. Any of your shortcomings can be 100% remedied if you work on yourself. That’s the whole point of TRP. We’ve all been where you’re at and everyone wants to see you succeed.

XT3M3 · 2018-03-30T11:57:24+00:00

LMFAO at the post in that thread.

"the past is the past"

the constant ganging up on OP while white knighting your soon to be ex.

as for the actual advice. seems like this girl was your unicorn and hearing these stories about her is now breaking your view of her. you set this girl on a pedestal and it's been knocked down.

the first red flag is she REFUSED to answer your question about body count. this either means sges ashamed or figured you would see her like this. fact is, you still gave her commitment/security and while doing so I guess imagine she had a smaller count than you which I'm guessing is low.

sex is different for you compared them because she doesn't have to try as hard with you. you already gave her what she wanted. compared to all the chads before you. a girl who is down for you completely has no limits (or barely any)

what you should do? clearly the image you have is shattered. and she will never be the same. no matter what. so break up with her. you go your own way and she goes her. you are setting your self up to possibly be cheated on later and setting up your own unhappiness. just end it saying you aren't ready yet blah blah. get ring back and etc.

my question is a repeat tho of 1 from the other topic. are you actually looking for help or just seeing who is going to agree with whatever plan you had in your head to possibly stay or go?

Postergirl1109 · 2018-03-30T04:57:10+00:00

That whole thread is women just like your fiancé. They too probably slept with a lot of men which is why they're defending it. They too are lonely as hell/pump and dump material because of their promiscuous past and deep down are probably ashamed.

Asking the relationships sub how to proceed in that situation would be just about as predictable as asking the_donald who you should vote for in the 2016 election.

that being said, you being disgusted by your fiancés actions just shows you prefer to not marry an overly promiscuous woman. Don't let some harpies shame you into doing something you don't want to. If you prefer less promiscuous partners, then stick to your guns. You don't want to marry this woman and wake up to her everyday thinking about how much of a whore she was.

nhlfod21 · 2018-03-30T02:55:12+00:00

No doubt this is a lot to take in at once, but DO NOT get married until this is sorted out in your head. TRP is not a joke, and you are not going to get it right away. AWALT and the only thing that you can change is yourself.

pridebrah · 2018-03-30T06:02:26+00:00

I don't think OP will actually next this chick because most guys that come here for advice don't actually take it.

With that said, this is definitely something that will bother you forever so it's best to rip the scab off now if it bothers you that much (and it sounds like it should since her libido doesn't live up to legend).

Shoutout to your friend, too.

potato-stache · 2018-03-30T07:26:30+00:00

Your sex life with her is average but you found out she was a wild feral when she was younger. Just another story that will lead to 'I found out my wife of 7 years been cheating on me. She only let me have sex with her once a month' case.

Here's the thing, your fiancee is 26yo, not 56 or 66yo. Her sexual urge is strong as any other women in mid-20s. Be it the porn star, the party girl, the quiet nerd but cute girl you always saw in your fav bookstore, the top college student or the nurse. They all will get the same type of horny and wild with Chad on bed at that age. Remember we are all animals on this earth. If she strucks you as 'average conservative' on bed, something is wrong. Very very very wrong.

Now thank the universe for showing you the sign before you get married and have kids with her. So many dudes in divorce and custody battle from similar background wish they got the sign like you.

3d_truth · 2018-03-30T08:03:06+00:00

It's very common for men to find women very sexual but when she finally settles with a beta provider, that beta doesn't bring out the sexual side of her.

Ive heard loads of stories here where beta men think their gf is conservative in the bedroom, not willing to give head etc. But she is willing to go ass to mouth with any other alpha male that wants to fuck her.

Read sex god method.

bruiser18 · 2018-03-30T12:03:35+00:00

End it.

Take my advice. I was with a girl for 2 years before I found out she was a whore. She had slept with 20 something black guys by the time I met her (she was 17) and was known for being a slut. I was never able to get over it, I was unhappy being with her and we suffered a shitty relationship for about a year before it ended due to how I felt about her.

Shame, some women are just amazing until you find out about her past, and they say the past doesn't matter but it definitely does. Do you want your kids to come out of the same vagina all those guys have been inside? You kiss the mouth that has sucked off all those guys? Do you wanna introduce her to your friends, and have all your friends think the same thing: she's a whore.

Don't do it, it's unfortunate but you'll move on and accept it just like I did. I'm sorry.

Edit: I promise you, everything you know about her, is most likely less than half of the full story.

eganist · 2018-03-30T19:29:17+00:00

/r/relationship_advice mod here with a meta-comment

For the sake of future posts, can we switch www to np in crossposted threads? Crossposting is fine, but while I don't personally agree with the views expressed in this subreddit generally, I can appreciate that many people are able to hold their own views and not become vindictive about it.

That said, that's not always the case, and usually whenever we see a crosspost, we see some amount of brigading as a result.

TL;DR: you can do what you want, but we'd really prefer it if you use np.reddit when you crosspost, just as a courtesy. We can enforce the same on our end.

Thanks.

El_Serpiente_Roja · 2018-03-30T04:04:59+00:00

You dont get over this type if thing, its either cope or next. Seriously.

chasebandz01 · 2018-03-30T05:07:30+00:00

get rid of her man. her duplicity is a red flag. if she owned up to being a whore, great, at least she gave you the story. she didn't. she obfuscated reality. get rid of her.

DevilishRogue · 2018-03-30T08:30:14+00:00

how tf do I tell her it's because of her past?

"Listen, Stacey, I've decided to call things off. It's your past. Your decisions don't give me the confidence that this relationship would work. Bye."

redarkane · 2018-03-30T09:57:20+00:00

She's willingly gave her body to how many guys for free.. And you're going to put a ring on it? And potentially get divorce raped? Think with your head and not your heart mate. The heart is weak.

Bear-With-Bit · 2018-03-30T06:24:37+00:00

You've come to the cancer wing. Every problem like this to us is cancer and thus every solution here is chemo.

Either jump in and end it or don't come back and marry her.

Soderbergh · 2018-03-30T17:10:41+00:00

These kinds of discoveries are sad. Here's this wonderful person about to be your life partner who turns out to be a giant skank. Men like to hold up women as these shiny objects of hotness hoping deep down that they will make their lives better only to realize so many of the seemingly better ones are not really worth their time.

That's the issue with this one. She's not worth your time. You sound like a smart guy who deserves a relatively honest girl. Sure, those are hard to find. But this one's been sleeping with the football team. Imagine the poor quality person she has to be to be one of those girls. 100% of the girls I've known like that have been abused or seriously hurt in some way and have tons and tons of emotional baggage requiring therapy. You just discovered the tip of the iceberg I'm sure.

Here's the strategy I would use going forward:

I would first and foremost make peace immediately with never knowing the full truth about her. If you handle yourself right you could of course figure everything out in time. But it would hurt you and take too long so don't go down that road.
I would decide on a rock solid reason to tell her for breaking up and then do it. It should be as real to you as humanly possible. Because chicks are geniuses at knowing when you're lying she will probably figure out that you're bullshitting her if it's a weak reason. Which will then lead to her unravelling everything about you and your friends discussion. That's a disaster to avoid so be careful.

DON'T LET HER KNOW YOUR TRUE FEELINGS ABOUT HER.

I would go all in with TRP. All the core tenants are very close to explaining how the real world actually works. It's not perfect philosophy, but in a year or so of hardcore learning you will be well past this slutty fiance of yours and with a new awesome girl.

Btw, we know sluts are not evil. Your fiance isn't evil. She is just a whore and deserves her whore future. Just don't be a part of it. In the next decade your fiance will sleep with more guys, maybe cheat a couple times and generally be shitty in bed with her beta partners as they try to decipher her ass loads of emotional baggage. Don't be involved in that bullshit - it will lower your quality of life.

Instead find a chick who other guys have no/minimal gross stories about. They do exist.

3d_truth · 2018-03-30T08:05:47+00:00

Don't feel bad btw dude. Realize how extremely lucky you are. You have been given this gift to unplug right before its too late.

ThisIsAgent007 · 2018-03-30T09:16:07+00:00

Did any of you read the top comments in the original thread? That shit is just hilarious.

DirtyBastard13 · 2018-03-30T16:40:59+00:00

Search your ~~feelings~~ brain. You know the correct answer...

PS... Dump her...

[deleted] · 2018-03-30T17:38:02+00:00

I went through something similar with a past long term relationship. Society shames men for “slut shaming” but in my opinion it is pretty fucking normal to not want to be the guy who marries the village bicycle.

In my current state I wouldn’t really give a fuck because I don’t plan on getting married. But back then before I discovered TRP, I was really insecure about it.

And the thing is, me and my LTR had a great sex life. Sex 2 times a day minimum most days (it was college we had a lot of free time). And she was a freak for me and basically did anything I wanted her to do in bed.

But once I found out about her past I just couldn’t get the picture of her doing stuff like that with other guys out of my head. And to be honest it was one of the factors leading to me breaking up with her.

I’ve matured a lot since then, but from the tone of your post it sounds like you won’t be able to move past this. I know it’s tough but I’d say it’s best that you move on.

rcwhitaker · 2018-03-30T03:07:46+00:00

OP it is unfair to yourself to stay with this person when they've not contributed to you what you have to them.

_the_shape_ · 2018-03-30T03:59:41+00:00

End it before you start dropping serious money (or any more money if you already have) toward the fulfillment of a contract with someone you have grown to become highly suspicious of (you shouldn't get married anyway, even if you trusted her with your life, but you've already been told that on here I see)

You will lock yourself up in a cage of your own doing if you go through with this marriage. You can end it now, or shell out an ungodly amount for the marriage and festivities, then go through a gut-wrenching divorce (hopefully with no children involved) just a few years down the line because the buried secrets of thought of your (now) wife getting drilled by one Chad after another is slowly eating you alive. Mark my words, the resentment will cause the relationship to explore, especially if her libido drops from the "5" that it's presently at to a "3" or lower.

Unlike the other sub, I'm not telling you to "get over it" because "the past is the past" or some bullshit like that. What stands out to me is that you're still quite young, your trust for your fiance is rapidly declining (and will likely continue to plummet), you're about to get married (which you should never do), you've now discovered that the word to describe her once upon a time was "horny", and here you have a girl who's sexually lukewarm toward you.

I'd simply go with "I'm not ready/I wasn't ready for marriage" as for your reason. Make it existential. Fuck it. All of this will get swept under the rug and people will leave you alone over it (eventually), but it's your life, and if they can't accept your decisions, then fuck 'em. Don't let the pressure force you into doing something you don't want to go through with anymore. The truth is that we men virtually always come out as the bad guys once a relationship reaches an end, so you might as well embrace it.

hellprince7 · 2018-03-30T04:12:23+00:00

Take a few weeks off, no contact.. . . . .

See what happens . . . .

Maybe you need to move on. . . .

IDoOverStand · 2018-03-30T12:29:27+00:00

id demote her to plate instead of breaking. yeah cancel marriage and have sex and thats it

FUCK_YEA_GLITTER · 2018-03-30T13:37:14+00:00

Last thing you want is a whore who fucks like a prude. Get out now dude, your long term happiness is on the line.

Atavisionary · 2018-03-30T14:52:44+00:00

High female promiscuity substantially raises the risk of divorce.

http://atavisionary.com/study-index/politics-government-culture/premarital-sex-premarital-cohabitation-and-the-risk-of-subsequent-marital-dissolution-among-women/

AVWA · 2018-03-30T15:07:38+00:00

I concur with all the comments. You need to end this. Just posting in case you needed extra confirmation. Dm for a more thorough conversation.

CommanderCumlord · 2018-03-30T17:53:20+00:00

If I were you, I would be fucking crushed like I'm sure you are. You're not alone, many have felt that feeling of deep disgust and betrayal you feel now. She faked you out and almost got you to sign on the red dotted line. But guess what, you're so fucking lucky you found out- most guys never do. Change your perspective: You just hit the lottery and get a chance to meet a new better woman.

You're not yet aware of the material and perspective here, so you wouldn't see clearly how mechanically her actions are rational and make sense. Why would you want to commit to a partnership with someone who hasn't been honest, hasn't been open with you, and hasn't given her love to you? You wouldn't want that if you were thinking rationally. I'm not saying she is a bad or evil person who wanted to hurt you. Actually the opposite, she didn't want to hurt you. But she wanted her cake - fucking every guy under the sun - and to eat it to - marry a good guy. That's not what you want though man, your gut is literally screaming in disgust because you're repulsed by that behavior.

Do the reading the other guys recommended. Just understand nobody here actually hates women, (don't listen to those that do), that's a common misconception. What the guys in here are advocating, which can come across as harsh, is to stand up for yourself. Stand up for yourself against someone who has misrepresented themselves to the point where you have been embarrassed and fully made out to be a fool in front of others. Don't be scared to walk away - it's your most powerful point of negotiation.

You should definitely post an update once you think this through and give yourself some time to make a decision. If you want to carry through with this knowing what you now know.. best of luck to you, I can only hope you don't get burned my friend.

throwitdownman · 2018-03-30T19:08:24+00:00

Get out of a bad situation. Learn, and next time, remember PRE-SELECTION. You do it with cars right? Seek out reviews? Test drive it a bit? Project it’s value in a few years? Look at MILEAGE? Learn to control your emotions, use your brain to preselect instead of being guided by feelings such as ‘sunk cost’ and blaming yourself.

its_meKnightSwolaire · 2018-03-30T22:06:25+00:00

Welcome to TRP.

Get ready man because when I discovered the main sub in 2014 my life did a 180!

its_meKnightSwolaire · 2018-03-30T22:10:01+00:00

Lol post wall women in this thread. This is men’s safe place! Fuck off hags

blackedoutfast · 2018-03-31T01:00:36+00:00

don't get married.

definitely don't get married to this chick.

when you dump her, don't get into an argument or have a long discussion or agree to take a break to think about it or go to counseling or any of the other things she may suggest. try to extricate yourself from the situation as much as possible before she finds out. then dump her hard and fast.

don't tell her (or anyone else) that you're dumping her because she used to be a huge whore. if you do, people will try to make you look like the bad guy and give you shit about slut-shaming and how the past is the past and shouldn't matter and all that like the idiots in the other thread. also, any women in your future that find out you ended an engagement because you found out the girl had a slutty past will be even more careful to hide their own slutty past.

if people insist on knowing why, just say something like "i found out that she lied to me about something very important that i couldn't forgive and that's all i want to say about it" and most people will assume she cheated on you.

women have a dual-pronged reproductive strategy. they fuck sexy alpha guys who turn them on sexually. but then they try to rope gullible beta guys in to be good providers and help them raise kids.

in this situation, you are the beta bucks, not the alpha fucks. your fiancee wasn't really sexually attracted to you (that's why she was more sexually conservative with you than all those dudes she fucked while she was riding tje cock carousel). she was with you because she saw you as a solid, reliable, good provider who would give her a wedding and family. she only fucked you because she had to.

nofucksgiven-exe · 2018-03-30T06:24:46+00:00

Have you ever brought up her sexual past? If she lied to you then she's out instantly. If she just didn't talk about it she could still be LTR material; she's not crazy, she's just not likely to have actually changed, therefore a not yours-just your turn situation.

Either way, don't get married. Will probably end your relationship when you say you want to call it off, but tough shit; better than divorce.

ArticulateSavage · 2018-03-30T12:12:41+00:00

She was never yours, it WAS just your turn.

If you marry this girl, OP, you are in for a lifetime of heartache and poverty.

BluntMFer · 2018-03-30T16:03:22+00:00

Lol at the beta bucks here. Honestly she's going to tell you "that it was before you met her" but that's what all hoes say.

Nyquil-Junkie · 2018-03-30T16:33:44+00:00

I don't know my fiance's number and she doesn't know mine, but that's because she refused to answer it a long time ago when it came up.

If I read that right.... and I hope I didn't..... and you're gonna marry her... With all do respect I'll ask;

Are you stupid or something?

its_meKnightSwolaire · 2018-03-30T22:09:20+00:00

Your best friend is the real MVP and just saved you thousands, maybe more

0kool74 · 2018-04-03T18:29:10+00:00

But how tf do I tell her it's because of her past? How do I tell other people why it was called off? Is that even a legitimate reason?

How do you tell her? You just simply tell her it's because of her past. You'll understand why when I answer the 3rd question.

As far as for what you tell other people, it's none of their business and they can fuck off. But, if you feel the need to tell them something, you can tell them it's because you no longer wish to marry her.

As far as for is it a legitimate reason......HELL GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING YES IT'S A LEGITIMATE REASON!!!!! Why you ask? Because you will be confined to a life of starfish duty sex, no blow jobs, no anal, no kink, just missionary most likely with the lights off. None of the stuff she did with those other guys will be on the table for you. Now.....if you think that you can be ok with accepting that reality, then sure......go ahead and marry her. Otherwise, RUN!!!!!!

ditchthisaccount3749 · 2018-03-30T14:25:13+00:00

A lot of what you read right here OP will be painful to hear. It's all the truth and you may not want to accept it because anger will be blocking your logic and will put you in denial. You need to read the sidebar material in r/theredpill . Again this material will be hard to accept but soon enough you'll read something that clicks with your past and present experiences and the realisation will make you think clearly and help with your decision making. And once you have read that orientation material the content in these comments will have more impact.

jahesus · 2018-03-30T16:23:15+00:00

Her n count is fucking irrelevant. Don't get fucking married. You lose everything if you do. Learn from others, there's nothing in it for you

7Fig · 2018-03-30T22:23:22+00:00

There's a real paradox going on here. If you choose to be the kind of man who bends to the pressure and will of everyone else telling him to just stick it out, it was in the past, don't overreact: You'll live the blue pill life and slowly give up every inch of yourself until there is nothing left.

If you choose to live the life you want surrounded by the kind of people you want: You'll close this chapter with her abruptly and stoically. There is no need for theatrics. Simply move forward without her. This will cause the most shocking result you have ever seen. She will feel your rejection and use every female weapon she has to bring you back into frame. She'll be your little slut, she'll get nasty and try to humiliate you, and you'll have to ignore it all.

You will have to leave her to get her to be the kind of woman you'd want to be with. But your time with this one is over, and that's just how it is.

alleyteris · 2018-04-02T09:18:26+00:00

bro the first thing you should do in this case is , go to theredpill subreddit and read the side bar in one sitting, after you do this then go buy the book called :The rational male by Rollo tomasi . Until you have done this steps you MUST not continue with the mariedge . Do this steps ,think hard and then decide for yourself

devilkingx2 · 2018-04-04T02:12:34+00:00

The only issue imo is that your girlfriend isn't into you enough to be YOUR naughty little freak, but she was into all those other losers that much.

It doesn't matter that your gf isn't a pure little snowflake or any of that shit, what matters is that she's a dirty naughty girl for everyone except the guy who actually has to buy the milk.

It's like buying a car and finding out that driving it is a privelege only for people who didn't buy it

DarkWhale___ · 2018-04-20T06:02:46+00:00

I’m super late to this post but I hope you dumped her. She knows exactly what she’s doing which is the scariest part of all this. Keeping you in the dark. That’s a huge red flag. Her past is another. Don’t let anyone ever tell you “the past is the past”. The past is everything. EVERYTHING. That’s what has led to who she is now. Same for you. I’m sure she enjoys the fact that you probably spent your past working on yourself and your career. Your past is beneficial to her. Yet her past is riddled with her sex addiction. Not like she was going steady with a quality guy or two. It’s the female equivalent to man addicted to porn. Is that something you want to put a ring on and raise kids with? She probably didn’t have tie to learn how to act like a proper woman in between all her quicky relationships. Meanwhile you seem like a responsible, respectable guy who has his head and his priorities straight. Fuck all those rancid hoes trying to sell you a used up sex junky and passing it off as a wife. Don’t accept that bullshit.

cl3537 · 2018-03-30T04:12:49+00:00

You thought you were marrying a virgin? How superficial and immature can you be.

I never understood the how many guys she slept with lowering or raising her value arguments.

If you are looking for a reason not to marry her or break it off, that is a silly one but you don't need a reason just end it.

Scheme00 · 2018-03-30T02:26:59+00:00

That was all before you. As long as she treats you well and doesn’t seek other male attention who cares? If you’ve got a good one, keep her. All girls by their late 20s have had tons of sausage inside them. I saw a girl I banged a few years ago and she didn’t even remember me. I told her we banged and she said “please don’t tell my fiancé” who was a friend of another friend. If she’s good to him why does it matter that I banged her? You thought you had a special snowflake, in reality you have a normal girl who rode the cock carousel just like all the other women.

Title	Just discovered my fiance has a very promiscuous past and I have thoughts of ending it. Am I being too rash?
Author	fyouIgotthis
Upvotes	158
Comments	194
Date	March 30, 2018 12:53 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/886imz/just_discovered_my_fiance_has_a_very_promiscuous/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/just-discovered-my-fiance-has-a-very-promiscuous.647 https://theredarchive.com/post/647