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Keep her guessing...? Why

April 16, 2017
6 upvotes

This is my first time posting here. I believe it's the right place, although I wish I could have written in TRP due to a higher audience. I can't post there, can I?

I was reading this, the heartiste's sixteen commandments of poon, linked from these subs. Then I got into this paragraph

VI. Keep her guessing

True to their inscrutable natures, women ask questions they don’t really want direct answers to. Woe be the man who plays it straight — his fate is the suffering of the beta. Evade, tease, obfuscate. She thrives when she has to imagine what you’re thinking about her, and withers when she knows exactly how you feel. A woman may want financial and family security, but she does not want passion security. In the same manner, when she has displeased you, punish swiftly, but when she has done you right, reward slowly. Reward her good behavior intermittently and unpredictably and she will never tire of working hard to please you.

This school of thought is against mine and I'd like to debate a little bit over it. Okay, I understand heartiste's point of view, being mysterious and so and so. Up until now, I felt like directly expressing my interest in a woman can have two ways: either she takes it as an invitation and she's in, either she'd take it as a compliment and that's it, nothing bad for me, nothing bad for her. I legit couldn't care less about a certain woman unless she could offer me sex and I just dropped the bomb. She said she's not into that (and I was abandoning ship) but she still chases me, willing to talk/hang out. Could have gone the good way (and we fucked) or could have gone the other way and nothing happens, no time wasted on both sides.

What does TRP think about these two colliding trains of thought?

Is it talking about a woman you're taking seriously or sometihng you'd do in a LTR (or possible LTR)?

Also, you really have to be showing some interest (or you're indirectly doing that) when initiating a conversation with, let's say, someone you haven't talked to in a while because now she's looking way better than she did some years ago (just an example).

Floor is open to debate, please.

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Post Information
Title Keep her guessing...? Why
Author Eclectiqque
Upvotes 6
Comments 7
Date April 16, 2017 10:31 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit /r/askTRP
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/keep-her-guessing-why.89582
https://theredarchive.com/post/89582
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/65oiht/keep_her_guessing_why/
Comments

[–]RedditAdminsSuck_882 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Keep her guessing basically means be unpredictable and mysterious. The more she learns about you, the less attracted she will be. So keep the "getting to know eachother" chat to a minimum, at least when it comes to you telling her about yourself.

Be unpredictable = be exciting. Women hate boring men who they can predict the actions of. Women are ultimately attracted to exciting men. They would rather take their chances with a guy they dont know much about than a guy who shows his entire hand.

[–]Eclectiqque[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

what do you think about expressing directly your intentions

[–]RedditAdminsSuck_880 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

You have no choice

Women aren't retarded, they know if a guy is into them or not. So if a man isn't direct she will think he is a coward who is too pussy to state what he wants. You have a short window with women.

Not only that but its also for your own benefit. Let women know what you want off the bat before you get too invested. That way if she rejects you she did so early before you wasted too much time and emotional effort.

[–]Eclectiqque[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

exactly what I'm thinking and what I've stated in the op! glad we're on the same page. however, these thoughts collide with what the heartiste says. like here

I legit couldn't care less about a certain woman unless she could offer me sex and I just dropped the bomb. She said she's not into that (and I was abandoning ship) but she still chases me, willing to talk/hang out. Could have gone the good way (and we fucked) or could have gone the other way and nothing happens, no time wasted on both sides.

we have the same idea. however, this is against being mysterious. i guess we have to find the perfect balance...?

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Make her earn your attention. Simples.

"Severities should be dealt out all at once, so that their suddenness may give less offense; benefits ought to be handed ought drop by drop, so that they may be relished the more."

-From "The Sayings of Chairman Machiavelli"

[–]Bigjohnthug1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The two views you've posited aren't as contradictory as they would initially seem. Heartiste is saying "Don't give direct answers" not "hide your intentions." This is basically "Don't validate her shitty questions as serious questions; carry the conversation deeper than the surface and communicate in the non-verbal planes." This fits very well with being direct sexually, because you ignore the surface-layer shit that could derail your attempts to sexualise while you actually build the tension and let her know what is up with your body language.

[–]Eclectiqque[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The real answer. Thanks

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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