I’m sure there are many out there like me. This quarantine has amplified the loud speaker that tells me that I am very much alone. I work, eat, sleep, lift, do the routine. Day after day. No one calls, no one texts. I produce. No one engages despite my efforts to follow up, follow through, and follow with. It’s a hi and bye. There is no safety net with me. Mommy and daddy aren’t there to catch me. I eat what I kill. There is no reliance on others. The conversation with me is always planning and business. Business always comes first. I’m deaf to indicators of interest from women. Blind to any sign. I despise the useless conversation. The pointless banter. The no actionable points. I have no ego left. There is nothing for others to destroy. I call it a black hole as I absorb everything thrown at me. It produces the drive to continue onward to an end that I deem worthy.

The only thing I have is my loneliness and discipline. Lifting too of course. I accept it.

You’re probably sick of the bitching. I’ll end it here.