Lonely places when life is good

plumo123 · 2020-12-28T23:37:29+00:00

I mean, you can treat this as just being human. We need new stimuli to stay engaged and feel like we're going somewhere. Now... life can be great and you can feel simply bored and tired of the same shit, even though it brings you great life on paper.

If shit is mundane, you probably have means to save time and dedicate it to something beyond that. You mention you're lonely. What exactly do you mean by that? Do you mean you have no people in your life at all? Probably not... You mention you have buddies but they seem not on your level. Change that or expand your circle.

Streamline your money making so it becomes more of a background thing (if you can). Dedicate remaining time to making new relationships with people who are on your level or slightly above so you can feed of them for your growth.

You've basically grown too big for your aquarium and you need an expansion so you're challenged again. You're not alone and you're not really lonely. It seems you lack a good challenge (something both engaging and hard) and people who you can discuss these endeavours with so you feel apart of a community on your level.

Sometimes I’m envious of my roommate who can just play video games all day, laugh his ass off, not have a care in the world, and sleep like a baby with zero progress.

That is not something to be envious of... No progress does not mean stagnation, it means decline.

inception-98 · 2020-12-28T23:30:51+00:00

what’s your line of work? maybe you can develop more meaningful connections through it

dontbeanasshole777 · 2020-12-29T01:31:09+00:00

Now you need to fall in love and break your heart!

petergriffin2660 · 2020-12-29T01:46:24+00:00

Sounds exactly like myself, I think we need a new hobby

Casanova-Quinn · 2020-12-29T01:51:58+00:00

It sounds like you’re doing fine, you’re just on autopilot. At this point you need to sit down and really think about what you want to do with your life. Ask yourself questions. What’s the end game for your career? What would you do if you only had a year to live? No one can answer those questions but you. Hopefully that gets the ball rolling.

failingtheturingtest · 2020-12-29T01:57:26+00:00

Find more active and social hobbies. If your non-work time is spend working out alone, doing hobbies alone, and self-improvement alone, then it makes sense that you're feeling the pinch of a very rigid routine.

Team sport, martial arts, a band, whatever. Something that gets you around other like minded people, bonus points if it's nature has the possibility of short-term successes (eg. Sports wins)

bonerpotpie · 2020-12-29T02:34:33+00:00

You need something to be passionate about. Work and fitness are musts, but what actually gets you excited. Meeting people organically that way is absolutely the best.

chopping_livers · 2020-12-29T16:14:08+00:00

Who are you, really? Name me 2-3 things taken from you and it destroys you as a person.

What's your mission in life?

rnsbrum · 2020-12-29T17:27:11+00:00

That is our curse. Its the mythical story of Sisyphus. He is doomed to push a giant stone to the top of a mountain, then watch it roll back and push it again. FOR ALL ETERNITY.

But its not getting the rock to the top of the mountain that is important, its actually pushing the rock. Looking forward to it. Getting back down and doing it all over again.

Translating to real life. I heard this one from the biggest billionaire of my country.

Someone asked him, how do you congratulate yourself when you achieve a goal? He answered: I give myself another goal.

This cycle continues until we are dead, or you can give yourself a goal so big that even in your lifetime you won't achieve, then you will be forever working towards something.

I just gave myself a new goal, I'm gonna run a long distance Ironman.

HurricaneHugues · 2020-12-29T17:29:11+00:00

Tkae some time off dude.

GoblinTurkey · 2020-12-29T18:55:27+00:00

Sounds like you need a holiday, book a trip! (Maybe give it a few months for Covid to settle down). Where have you always wanted to go?

openrds · 2020-12-29T21:25:37+00:00

Just from what I can glean from your post, it sounds like you have a lot of positive going on but not so much balance.

In my experience as a therapist and life coach, I see men who are high-functioning like you get deep into their heads and lose touch with an outside perspective. When someone attempts to provide an outside perspective, though, these men can get defensive and use all their reading to explain or justify why they're stuck. Many of the self-help books describe it as "analysis paralysis", which I think is a perfect description of the phenomenon.

The question is how to break through?

There's no easy answer, but it begins where you are now. You've humbly admitted to yourself and the world that you're stuck. That's a great start!!! Now when you run into someone who can help you see yourself more clearly, you can say yes. Then the journey to the next level begins.

daproest1 · 2020-12-29T01:02:24+00:00

How old are you?

StarkIndustriesOner · 2020-12-29T07:05:19+00:00

Wtf you got to much time on your hands. I dont even get time to be bored or lonely.

Title	Lonely places when life is good
Author	SoSmoooth
Upvotes	10
Comments	22
Date	December 28, 2020 11:26 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/km1plk/lonely_places_when_life_is_good/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/lonely-places-when-life-is-good.735576 https://theredarchive.com/post/735576