LTR had post sex regret

February 24, 2020
147 upvotes

A week or so ago my LTR and I went out to the bar with a group of friends. We both were drinking but ultimately she was more intoxicated than me (nowhere close to blackout). We ended up going back to my place and had sex. At the time she was into it, literally asking for it. The next day she said it made her feel weird and that she couldnt believe I would do that so easily. This wasn't something new. We've had sex after the bar countless times. What dynamic has changed? How major of a red flag is this? And how should I approach this in the future? Our sex life and relationship as a whole has continued as usual after this though.

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Post Information
Title LTR had post sex regret
Author deadliftbrah_
Upvotes 147
Comments 115
Date February 24, 2020 2:27 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/askTRP
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/ltr-had-post-sex-regret.340331
https://theredarchive.com/post/340331
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/f8ryqo/ltr_had_post_sex_regret/
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Comments

[–]patchwhole215 points216 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

Beta the fuck out and get that bitch to dump you. Please tread lightly

[–]Gr33d3ater142 points143 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Seriously. This is dangerous. She’s being told how to think by some drooling invalids online. She’s read about “not being able to consent to drunk sex” and believed it was anything more than fat virgin women complaining about getting pumped and dumped by chads with no other option that night.

Women are crazy. Treat them like they’re someone on a bad acid trip all the time.

[–]wtfdoiaskfor141 points42 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Treat them like they’re someone on a bad acid trip all the time

This explains a lot

[–]Bing_Bang_Bam0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Amazing! You just blew my mind and I didn't even need drugs.

[–]MarvelousWhale11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Can vouch for the validity of her getting wacky bullshit info from some feminist blog or "friend" that's convincing her (due to her not being able to think for herself) that she's deserving of X Y and Z and should expect Blah blah.

This happened to me, I ignored the red flags and F closed, ignored her weird reaction post-sex and months later when her attitude towards me changed because she wanted sex and wasn't getting it, turned out she told me about the blogs and community she was reading, asking me about MGTOW and if I knew about them and blah blah.

I don't talk to her anymore these days.

[–]flying-backflip7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Or any number of SJW/LGBTQ university "courses".

[–]secureMPC1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

And so are you, false rape claims are nowhere near common enough to worry this much about.

[–]Gr33d3ater4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

They aren’t common because you don’t hear about them. When you see red flags for X event happening the odds of it happening go up a significant amount. If what OP described wasn’t happening then none of us would be talking about it.

[–]ImplodedVeggies15 points16 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

The best advice for the situation.

[–]youcantdenythat11 points12 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

DO NOT DO THIS... This will make you look weak and REINFORCE her idea that you raped her.

Treat it like a nuclear shit test. See the sidebar. Whatever you do DON'T DROP FRAME.

In your mind this was just normal sex and she's just being weird.

[–]ImplodedVeggies14 points15 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Nah man, he needs out of this, and she needs to think it was her decision. If he holds frame and leaves her, she will be bitter and cry rape. If he acts beta and smothers her, she will dry up and cry that they should take a break.

I agree that usually this is not the best move, but if her definition of consent is changing due to influences out of his control, best bet is to make her think it was her decision to dump you and that she had complete control of the situation.

OP is on a slippery slope, but he’s near the top

[–]youcantdenythat8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

nope you have it backwards, you must be new here. beta is creepy and rapey... alpha and maintaining frame will draw her into his frame and she'll forget all about it.

alpha gets away with whatever he wants. beta has to live by the rules.

[–]party_dragon5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You're (mistakenly IMO) assuming that he (or any rational male) would want to keep being with her... the only reasonable path forward is dumping her ASAP - the only remaining question is how

[–]Terminal-Psychosis1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Bad association spoils useful habits. A strong leader guides the flock to safe pastures. Could very well be salvageable.

I've had situations wehre a girl started spewing such nonsense. I reimind them that they are adults, and 100% agreed to everything. Lay that responsibility fully on their shoulders. They cannot disagree...

and if they do, yah, fast fade out. Lose interest, get busy. She'll forget you exist and search an easier victim to get social points with their new "friends".

Trying to roll play beta simp would not be believable. Girls can smell bullshit a mile away. Call them on theirs, gauge the reaction, and act accordingly.

That would be either soft next fadeout, or make her call you daddy (again), and drop the new asshole "friends" she's made.

OP, and everyone, needs to judge which is more realistic in each situation. Are you important enough to her to accept guidance? If not, Danger Will Robinson!

Playing simp, roll playing, is just gonna prolong the bullshit and keep her thinking about you. There are much beter, low-key ways to just fade out of her life. (fade her out of yours)

[–][deleted]  (6 children) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]Taipoe25 points26 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Funny how this is so accurate

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've used this technique with success.

[–]Huntbutt4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"Start saying you love her and you stopped talking to all girls because of her, and wanna settle down. Shell brrak up with you in a month, problem solved. Tread lightly bro"

hahahaha.

[–]MithrilBanker9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Hey, serious question. What happens if you do this, but the girl is even more infatuated and interested in you? For example, someone above mentioned he did this and it backfired on him.

[–]kdsflyfree8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Depends on the girl. OP and Final_Pantasy didn't mention the age but acting beta is less effective to breaking up the closer to the wall the woman is. Also how much the relationship is provision vs. attraction.

[–]Deezney1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's so fucking funny. This comment would be taken seriously in other subreddits

[–]User-31f64a4e147 points148 points  (25 children) | Copy Link

What dynamic has changed?

Her ideology. She has obviously gotten "woke".
Her newfound concern about "rape culture" or "consent" or whatever is a clear threat to your well being.

I don't know the best way to extricate yourself.
A hard next might mean accusations of rape.
Perhaps you need to slowly, subtly, become less desirable in her eyes until her hypergamy kicks in.

  • Never stick your dick in crazy
  • Feminism is insane nonsense
  • Therefore, feminists are crazy
  • Therefore, never have sex with feminists

Who mentioned feminism? Well, where do you think your LTR's nonsense comes from?

[–]Onein1024th45 points46 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

he needs to beta up and make it appear to her that he has stronger feelings of love than she does. Express undying love; show up to a date in sweatpants; buy her a teddy bear; talk about baby names; have weak frame; get visibly upset over dumb shit in front of her

[–][deleted] 38 points39 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

God, I dated one girl that actually fell deeper in love with me when I did this. She would nag me about not being emotional or deep enough with her, so I'd make up wild fake stories about my emotional trauma in the past to get her to stop and see what happened, told her I loved her 20 times a day (I mean, I did as much as you can love a woman, but not in the fairytale sense). The only time RP failed me. It went on for a couple months when I finally got tired of trying to beta and broke it off as cordially as I could. She was on some real hippy dippy shit.

[–]Cryptomineand6919 points20 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

im pretty sure bitches can tell with psychic powers when you don't actually gaf and are pretending to be beta. you aren't giving a fuck so much that you are literally trying to push her away indirectly. they're wizards i swear.

[–]RanaMahal11 points12 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

In my head i like to think the story is that this man legitimately found a unicorn and threw her ass away, the great irony of life lmao

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Nah, she was good but had her red flags. Would always kiss on first dates to test them, bad boob job, still talked to her ex (its not romantic blah blah), had beta orbiters she wouldn’t kick off, watched the bachelorette and thought it was good tv.

[–]mega_kook2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

To be fair, the Bachelor is amazing TV if you don't take it seriously and can laugh at the characters. It helps to at least pretend like you're into it for conversation with girls I think.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The Bachelorette is cancer and is everything TRP warns you about. This girl would talk about how she wanted to try something like that.

[–]mega_kook0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree that the guys on that show can be pretty "beta" and I would never try to act like that around girls.

[–]TheRedPillRipper2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

he needs to beta up

Comfort is the term. u/deadliftbrah_ if your relationship has continued as normal then what’s the issue? Keep on keeping on.

I’ve been this situation countless times. It’s never escalated to the point of a rape accusation; but I’ve always taken measures(genuinely) to care for all those women after the fact. If you guys go out, drink, party then go home and hit it; that’s a pattern of behaviour. I won’t give you legal advice but to say this; always get that After Text. Even in an LTR.

That was my current partner and my M.O. prior to us becoming more sexually comfortable. Even after all these years I still send her an after text. It’s habit. Sure you can listen to the others; “drop her” or get out; that’s your call. Personally I’d suggest continuing as normal. If she’s feeling a certain way ramp up the comfort as necessary. Just get into the habit of getting that after text; protecting yourself and never forgetting; it’s just her turn.

Godspeed and good luck!

[–]party_dragon1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

IMO there's women who take responsibility (e.g. for drunk sex, but also for other things in life) and women who don't. Why would you want to keep associating yourself with the latter kind of women? Or do you disbelieve the existence of the former?

[–]TheRedPillRipper1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

there's women who take responsibility (e.g. for drunk sex, but also for other things in life) and women who don't.

Are they mutually exclusive? OP’s partner may have red flags; she also may have a ton of green flags. Only he decides who he enters into relationships with; and what those relationships look like.

My current may not take responsibility(she does after the fact) whilst she’s emotionally heightened; but she knows full well there’s consequences for her actions. I hold her responsible. IMO it’s the only way to play hardmode.

Godspeed and good luck!

[–]mega_kook0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Would you mind giving an example of a good "after text" to send? I like that you have all the bases covered

[–]TheRedPillRipper2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I made a post a while back for more info.

[–]mega_kook0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks. Will check that out.

[–]Bing_Bang_Bam0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah just start talking about your feelings all the time and go full on beta, while getting a storage unit to start dropping off all your stuff worth keeping and also a PO box to start receiving all your mail in. I'd get a burner phone too.

[–]ur8moms82 points83 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

THE GROUND YOU TREAD ON FROM NOW IS FUCKING RIGGED WITH LANDMINES! Best option is to go full beta and end the relationship on “good” terms. Get proof that there was never non consensual sex between you two (Maybe chat screenshots or voice recording etc)

[–]babybopp6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This...

Op is now treading on ground with landmines. Two things will happen here. Either he will take the advice here and bail or stay thinking it was just a glitch in the matrix. If he picks the latter, watch this space for a rape accusation few months down the line.

Op, she has just activated and weaponized her pussy. U are the target. She let you know about it. Bottom plate her or pull out slowly. I wouldn't bang her drunk again.

[–]Chad-MacHonkler26 points27 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Storm on the horizon. Start saving your text messages.

[–]IntelligenceLtd1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

sorry why saving im confused, for what purpose

[–]thiccmonkeyz12313 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

so you don’t get your ass chewed up in court, come on guy

[–]Taipoe6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If she cries rape OP would have proof from texts that it was consensual and much easier to deal with in court

[–]CasaDeFranco0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Cell phone in top pocket on voice record, have a conversation with her but remain silent, let her fill the silence.

[–]The1ndex75 points76 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

She couldn’t believe what? That you would have sex with her when she’s drunk?

Normally I suggest not listening to what a woman says, but this is getting into dangerous territory involving rape, etc.

If a girl ever told me she felt weird about me fucking her when she was drunk, I would tactfully remove her from my life. Her feeling weird turns into her feeling raped.

[–]Onein1024th18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

on the off chance that isn't the case, OP still should remove her from his life:

if she actually did have doubts DURING said act and didn't express those doubts until after the fact; she's just as dangerous

[–]319Skew16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Any new friends? Women are sponges. Maybe she's got a new feminist friend that's got her believing that past consent can be taken and that it's rape to change positions during sex (actually heard that before).

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy Link

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[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]Freedom__Fighter40 points41 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dude, your LTR regrets having sex with you.... LOL maybe reevaluate why you are committing to someone who would regret fucking you. Don't be a moron, dump her, delete her from everywhere and move on.

[–]deeznutsbeswingin64 points65 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

You need a new gf but careful here. Tell her you’re not comfortable dating a girl that is uncomfortable having drunk sex, say that you’re dating and you’ve done this together many times, and since you want to continue having that option then you should see other people. Tell her you’ll miss her but she should find someone she’s more comfortable with because you care about her. Then dump her ass even when she cries and gtfo. Let that time bomb go off around somebody else’s dick

She’s either trying to pull some tricky manipulative tactics to get herself in the relationship’s driver seat, or she has been learning about date rape somewhere and is now a fucking live grenade and you’re sleeping with it.

[–]spedoid6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Literally exactly this and only this. Based

[–]InDankWeTrust2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This needs to be higher up, this has bad written all over it.

At the very least, he should feel massively disrespected that shes even implying he would rape. If thats now the bar, imagine where else you can go from here.

This has more red flags than a bad nascar accident.

[–]TheBunk_TB0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

NASCAR accident mention is why you are that dank.

[–]__TheDon__20 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Your girl is a nutcase (like most) . Be careful how you deemphasize her. If you do it too quick, she might hit you with a rape case. (Worst case scenario)

Tread carefully.

[–]FereallyRed10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Your ex has allowed her hamster to blame you for fucking her.

Eject, Maverick.

[–]TheBunk_TB1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Goose approves.

[–]bumbuff7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Stop having sex. When she asks why, "You feel weird about sex. I want you to do it on your own terms"

That's just to clear you from any future rape accusations. Fuck her a few more times over the next couple months when she wants to, but slowly make yourself less desirable and hopefully she'll leave on her own. If not, break up with her citing, "I can't be with a woman who wants me one night and finds me weird the next morning."

Might break her hamster wheel.

[–]Temptationn15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You know what you do? You hold the power now. soft next. As of today you are single, your girlfriend isn’t. never have sex with her again. Go out, get plates, if you’re the type that likes relationships then wait until you have one lined up and leave your gf. never have sex with her again, it’ll push her away and make her either cheat or breakup.

[–]Taipoe7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Bro this is prolly one of the biggest red flags. End on mutual or somewhat good terms cause now theres a possibility that she may scream rape or some shit like that. This almost happened to a friend of mine but thankfully he had texts that proved it was consensual but if he didnt have or saved those texts his whole life could’ve been put to a stop.

[–]WiterS24 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

-She no more enjoys sex with you. It's over.

-She entered false accusations and nagging territory. It's over.

[–]El_Serpiente_Roja5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

LTR...post sex regret....jesus fucking christ...

[–]Tiway223 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You need to get the fuck out ASAP! Don’t become a victim here.

I agree with other comments about going full beta and getting her to dump you if possible.

If not, certainly dont ever have intoxicated sex with her again. Record all interactions and save everything you have with her.

Find a way to exit without her realizing it was because of this issue.

Be safe. Be vigilant. Don’t risk your future. Get out.

[–]InformalCriticism2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Probably she's just talking to other dudes or has some other unseen variable you either don't know about or didn't mention.

She might just be seeing your SMV drop compared to others in her social circles.

If you haven't changed, but she has, then it's someone else making her change.

[–]youcantdenythat2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My LTR did the same thing a couple of years ago. We got drunk. She came over to my place, puked all over the bathroom, then brushed her teeth and got ready for bed. She reached over and grabbed me by the dick and it was on.

Next morning she asked if we fucked. I said yeah. She said oh, I don't remember it, thats really weird and got quiet. I figured out instantly where her hamster was going with it and shrugged and went back to whatever I was doing. A few minutes later she comes in back to her bubbly self and says "I guess you can't rape the willing!" and she never said another thing about it again.

It was a shit test. I held frame. She realized she was being silly and came back into my frame.

[–]Zanford3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

She's extraordinarily dangerous. You'll want to exit, but not ASAP (or she may rage out and go for revenge). Just quietly dial things back over time and let the relationship atrophy, and remember the JumboTron rule, for your texts especially (don't ever text her anything you wouldn't want other people reading.) If you can, get HER to text you something about her enjoying her recent sex with you.

The advice here to deliberately pretend to be beta is actually pretty good. Girls tend not to go revenge-rage slash-your-tires mode when you do that. They rage hard when they think they are losing a real catch.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

She probably felt embarrassed about something you did that night. It could be something as simple as a drunken face she remembers making that makes her cringe thinking about it. She needs to thrust responsibility onto you and make herself a victim of it.

Women need an excuse to be a whore and sometimes saying the guy made her do it is how they manage that.

[–]TheRedPillRipper1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

he needs to beta up

Comfort is the term. u/deadliftbrah_ if your relationship has continued as normal then what’s the issue? Keep on keeping on.

I’ve been this situation countless times. It’s never escalated to the point of a rape accusation; but I’ve always taken measures(genuinely) to care for all those women after the fact. If you guys go out, drink, party then go home and hit it; that’s a pattern of behaviour. I won’t give you legal advice but to say this; always get that After Text. Even in an LTR.

That was my current partner and my M.O. prior to us becoming more sexually comfortable. Even after all these years I still send her an after text. It’s habit. Sure you can listen to the others; “drop her” or get out; that’s your call. Personally I’d suggest continuing normal and if she’s feeling a certain way ramp up the comfort as necessary. Just get into the habit of getting that after text; protecting yourself and never forgetting; it’s just her turn.

Godspeed and good luck!

[–]Tambamwham6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’d send her on her way. This is about her lack of attraction to you and lack of interest in the Relationship then what you did.

[–]LunaticJay1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This shit wild

[–]Sylvester_Sterone1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If things are continuing as a whole it's a good sign. Save all recent messages from her.

I'd slowly tap out of this situation though... that's a red flag and who knows what she will pull in the future. Hell, even consult with a lawyer just in case.

If the situation does come when she goes for revenge (crazy woman shit) DON'T talk to the police. Talk to your lawyer.

[–]Vynxe-Vainglory1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

She’s a retard.

[–]deadliftbrah_[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I appreciate all the advice. I've just now had time to read through it all. I know what needs to happen now. Just have to get a plan to slowly get out of this situation together now.

[–]psychoduckly0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

A. Stop having sex with her, but, make up good excuses. You want time for her to wash all DNA out of her clothing. B. NEVER again admit to anyone that you EVER had sex with her. If a cop asks, say you need an attorney before you can speak with them. If she or a friend of hers/yours asks or talks with you about sex with her, understand that they are recording the conversation as evidence for your rape trial.

[–]MonkMode20191 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Shit test. I'd hard next regardless. Never dig through the trash.

[–]curiousgeorge1441 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

TBH bro I would just ask her. Like, literally just say what you just said and ask her. Clearly you care about her, otherwise you wouldn't bother to post about this. So just talk to her. Communication is key.

[–]0mnipath1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wait so how did that conversation actually go? I'm trying to imagine being in it. She says: How could you fuck me when I was drunk, it made me feel so weird?" Me: Wtf are you talking about?

From there I'm struggling to image what she could say. Like what do you actually mean? Are we not into each other, did we not both want to fuck yesterday after having a good time? Wtf is actually the problem, what are you on about? I would honestly be so fucking angry with her immediately, I wouldn't tolerate this fucking asinine nonsense.

[–]linkinway[🍰] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

she is crazy

[–]MVWeiss3 points4 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Must be a cucked country for a woman to pull that shit

This chick is not LTR material. You cannot reinforces this thinking and you gotta slowly get out. These made up laws of “marriage rape” and “relationship rape” are prime examples of nut jobs targeting men.

Also you are not alpha enough for her to pull this shit, when you are, even cucked women don’t pull this shit.

For now ignore and pretend it never happened and start disassociating emotionally but you really need to up your inner game to be more masculine.

[–][deleted]  (5 children) | Copy Link

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[–]MVWeiss0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Yep.

From experience when you’re really masculine and high value in her eyes they NEVER pull this shit (of course until she hits the wall and you become famous lol and maybe not even then if you had a good relationship)

Thing is that being masculine is not something that you turn on and off it is something that you are 24/7 and hanging out with her, you constantly tested and effortlessly pass those tests thus establishing that you are NOT a man to be fucked with.

There are actual criminals actually beating their chicks violently and the chicks never press charges, female psychology 😒

Also Once you become truly masculine you don’t even think in terms of shit tests when a woman does something stupid you realize it’s stupid and you call her out on it or you brush it off as just her being silly. True masculinity doesn’t register shit tests, guess it turns you into a natural, shit tests are just women being stupid or awkward ¯_(ツ)_/¯

[–]UnPawsed0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I agree with what you said, but I think you have the wrong idea of what shit tests are. In my eyes, shit tests are tactful hurdles used by women to disqualify you. A moron being a moron is just a moron. But a genius acting like a moron for an advantage is a genius.

[–]MVWeiss1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Hmm you don’t disagree but you come from a different perspective.

Become masculine enough and have enough experience and shit tests don’t happen as I’m assuming you refer to the seduction process not relationship.

Can’t remember the last time I encountered a shit test, things just go smoothly for a long time now.

[–]UnPawsed0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think what you said about being a natural alpha and not registering shit tests is correct to a point. Right, a natural alpha doesn’t understand what we call a shit test, and just knows how to brush one off when he unknowingly encounters one, but I’d compare it to being good at math. Anyone can plug numbers into an equation and get the right answer, but only the professionals understand why the formula works. The same way that understanding the theory behind game and why it works would make one more well versed in the subject.

[–]WiterS20 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Deemed alpha in the past. No more.

Women live in the moment. The past doesn't matter.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

[removed]

[–]Drakane11 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

tf are you talking about

[–]mksu9111 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I love how this kind of post rarely has any logical progression.

In real life, the logic thing would be to continue the dialogue. "Couldn't believe what? You were asking for it" would be a normal response.

Instead the dialogue in this story stops right after the girl has made her statement.

I'm smelling troll.

[–]WiterS25 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Can't logically argue with women. They don't care what is truth.

[–]mksu9113 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

If your girlfriend accused you of raping her you would just say 'ok' and go make breakfast?

His story is fishy

[–]WiterS28 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

If your girlfriend accused you of raping her you would just say 'ok' and go make breakfast?

Yes.

You don't get it. It's a game. She pretended to not have responsibility, and is making an unfair false accusation.

It doesn't matter who is right. It is an attempt to humiliate him into submission.

It is a frame war. If he enters the game, he loses, just because he accepted the frame, regardless of being right or wrong. Accepting her frame is to be mentally weak, to not know your place in the world. To be easily taken out of equilibrium. To not having your own frame.

The only winning move is not to play.

If you ever argued with a woman, you saw that women don't argue logically. Any of your arguments are dismissed as if you never said them. Any irrelevant detail on her favor is flared as an absolute, final victory. Her arguments are always emotional. She is purposely unfair. Her target is to make you angry, to make you lose rational control, and break emotionally.

You lose by losing your authority. By letting her to fight you as an equal.

The fact that she trows at you an unfair argument, easy to refute, it's just a bait. You think "This is easy to refute, so I will play". You eat the bait, and lose, for the sole fact that she manipulated you into playing.

You win nothing from arguing. She loses respect for you, and women cannot love a man they don't respect. She resents you for not standing your ground. She turns you into a beta, and then resents you for being beta.

[–]InDankWeTrust1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I dont give a fuck about frame if a woman falsely accused me of rape, or even hints at that, im getting out of that immediately.

You dont just ignore that shit.

You either address it, or get the fuck out. Nothing good will come by you trying to have pride about your frame.(and essentially gambling your freedom)

Your argument makes sense, when its not a life altering claim like that.

[–]WiterS21 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That is why he's advised to break stealthily.

If you do react to the false accusation, she get's the hint that you care, and will keep attacking harder. She found a weak spot. She will make it worse, because she found a way to get under your skin.

You are so tempted to take the bait, because you are right, because it matters, because it is so unfair, because you fear, because you got angry. Because you want to give her a lesson. You are biting the bait. And you will lose. Because you don't get it.

To keep your frame, and break later, for apparently unrelated reasons, is the best strategy.

[–]EmeritusSimia0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is why in situations like this I always make sure to get a bit of it on video on my phone. That way she can’t say she “didn’t want it”. Protecting yourself is more than just wearing a condom my guy

[–]Rosace_890 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

tell her that since you were intoxicated she raped you as well

defuse with humour and irony, also help her to see the contradiction of her newfound ideology and to drop it asap

[–]i-am-the-prize0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

red flag.

next time/for now: pressure flip. if she was that drunk, she won't know how drunk you were or not. So you fucked up if you told her you were more sober than she was.

obviously, you and she had consented before and after, and you were both affectionate that night, so I don't think you date-raped her, but that doesn't me her friends/fam wont think that if she tells the story later.

[–]btc7770 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That lady is like a land mine lying under your bed. May/may not explode some day. Do you want to risk this? I would save all my Whatsapps etc. as proof. And stop f*cking her when she is drunk.

[–]psychoduckly0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

She met/saw somebody at the bar that she wanted more than you. She couldn't have him, so, she thought that surrogate sex would suffice. It did, but, she still wants to upgrade.

The "I can't believe that you fucked me while I was so drunk..." means that if you continue this relationship, she will always be ready to say that you raped her. She's already told her girl friends pretty much the same thing. Carefully disentangle, then ghost.

[–]alphakari0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Here's what you do. Don't ever flinch on the idea that this was normal sex. Communicate nonverbally as though she's hinting you secretly go out to jerk off hobos, but do not outright call her crazy.

Do not give her anything to react to. Women aren't able to spurn their own righteousness without some sort of impetus. They need something to direct the movie starring themselves. Be a shitty actor in that movie. The ego will make you want to righteously stand up to her. That would be how you play a great villain.

Once it passes, make up some sad gay shit about why you need to be alone. Grandma died, w.e. She will worry but she will also not be attracted to that. Eventually she'll realize you won't let her play saviour and will redefine the narrative to you being a little bitch who can't satisfy her. Yet also someone she can't demonize.

Then you're free.

[–]PhaedrusHunt0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah watch out dude she's shit testing hard.

I bet she hangs out with a bunch of feminists

Flip the script on her and tell her that she raped you

[–]IntelligenceLtd0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

why are so many people on this thread saying line someone up before you dump her, If you dont like something and you think its a red flag why not just abort immideiatly

[–]mrsmiley8314 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Because if he dumps her now there's a good chance she'll file a rape charge.

[–]KillaJewels0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Slight feminist vibes, no big deal. Just make sure you keep an eye on it. Get her back to towing the line. Make sure you pepper her real nice with compliance tests after these occurrences, then hit her with the positive reinforcement for the KO. Goodluck bud.

[–]Diche_Bach0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'd say it all depends on how hard your dick gets. If she is hot enough, then her behavior is scarcely anything to worry about. If you're already feeling kinda over it, then this is the perfect opportunity to stick a fork in it skedaddle. I mean: obviously you don't really care for her, and she isn't permanent wife type material or you wouldn't be asking about shit like this on a reddit sub.

[–]Metalgear2220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Uh that was a shit test to see if you believed in the horse shit of needing to be sober to consent. We’re human. Humans have been getting drunk and fucking for milliniums, It IS horseshit. That should bounce off your frame-armor in a heart beat. If you took it seriously you have a big problem and you need to deploy beta smokescreen now to avoid rape accusation down the line.

[–]DTron2332-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I wouldn’t worry about it. Let her know you enjoyed her being your dirty little slut, and if she doesn’t like that well the road is that way. Tell her you enjoy taking advantage of her slut pussy when she’s drunk.

By the sound of this your frame must of been weak when establishing this LTR. Make your own decision

[–]eddielovett-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like a shit test to me. Hold frame and you’ll pass. Act as if her perception of the event is irrelevant.

[–]omega05-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Per trp you must dump her now and get to lifting and spin more plates

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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