So I live in a two person apartment with Fred(23M). He has a GF Ashley (25F).
Our situation: I like the two a lot, they are my friends from Uni, but slowly and slowly I'm starting to dislike Fred, as the way he behaves doesn't align with my values. For example, he says a lot of nice things when you get to know him, but it feels now fake to me, and he often doesn't follow through his actions with what he says (e.g doing dishes, sending emails, cleaning).
The most recent example and reason for this post is because of the following. For basically the majority of this year he has stayed at Ashley's one person apartment, and only come to our flat sparingly. No problem! But he messaged me saying that they were moving in for a week with their cat. Literally like that. "We are gonna move to our place for a week, cat's name also :) you fine?".
Not even asking imo. Just straight up telling. I reluctantly said yes sure, but that I have very important exams in the coming weeks which will decide where I'll live the next two years (applying for grad programs) so if they keep the place clean, fine, one week is ok.
Fast forward, it has been a month already, they are still here, keeping the flat clean is a challenge for them and headache for me, and I had a few restless nights with the cat, that destroyed a small belonging of mine, which was replaced by Ashley, and tries to open my door at night.
I felt like Fred and Ashley unconsciously push my buttons and it feels like they are testing the waters by seeing how much they get away with. I'm sorry if I sound like a douche, but that's really what it feels like, especially getting to know Fred. He is a nice dude 1 on 1, but I noticed when people are involved, he changes to be more outgoing and energetic and fake to elevate his image. I found it a bit amusing and tried to not let others' behaviour affect me.
The breaking point for me is the talk he delivers, but no action to back it. I found it sneaky and manipulative to message me "one week" and slowly it has become one month.
I non-confrontationally approached them today and asked them about the living situation and told them I didn't appreciate that he wrote me about how long they will stay and what had actually happened. One thing that bugged me was when I said it, Fred apologised but had no answer or words to my mentioning for the text message HE sent about staying for a week, and showed an open palm to Ashley for her to explain. I was thinking "why are you pointing the finger to her to explain, bruh YOU are the one who texted it and are misleading me". They said sorry and started moving Ashley's stuff to hers.
I know that it is Fred's flat as well as mine, but I felt more like I was the third person in their flat, and that didn't make me comfortable.
Thank fuck I passed these exams regardless of my living situation and will move out in the next couple of months!
Any advice from you people how to deal with sneaky people? Anything I should/could do better and watch out for? Just tired of wasting my energy on people who I eventually resent!
Tl;dr
Roommate said they will be here for 1 week, been 1 month...told them to leave, was i in the wrong?
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